Michele Bachmann isn't really leaving Minnesota over the gay marriage vote

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Did you really think she would make it that easy?
Sorry, Minnesota, but Michele Bachmann is not fleeing to Oregon over Monday's vote to legalize same-sex marriage. Not because she was bluffing, but because the Daily Currant -- the news site that published the report -- is satirical.

SEE ALSO:
Michele Bachmann falls from grace
Minnesota Senate approves marriage equality

In case you missed it: Yesterday, hours before the Minnesota Senate planned to vote on the gay marriage bill, the Currant published a story about Bachmann threatening to leave if the measure passed. It's really not such an unbelievable claim -- Bachmann has said far crazier things -- so it's not surprising that many took the story as legitimate news, and the piece lit up on social media for hours before and after the vote.

From the Currant story:

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann threatened to leave Minnesota today if the state goes ahead with its plans to legalize gay marriage.

In an interview with a local television station, the conservative firebrand said she believes God will destroy Minneapolis once the legislation is enacted, and wants to be far away when the reckoning happens.

"The Bible is very clear on this issue," she told KSTP-TV this morning, "Homosexuality is a sin, and God will punish communities that support it.

"Sodom and Gomorrah thought they could defy the will of God - and we all know what happened to them. If the governor signs this legislation into law the Minneapolis-St. Paul region will be next.

"I have a friend from Eden Prairie who's already packed everything she owns into her car and is driving out to Montana as we speak. These are very scary times. I don't want my family to be the last ones out."

Unlike the Onion, the Currant is confusingly subtle in its humor, and this isn't the first time it's been mistaken for a real news site. Earlier this year, the Washington Post cited the Currant in a story saying Sarah Palin had taken a gig at Al Jazeera. More recently, the Drudge report fell for a Currant piece about a restaurant refusing New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg a second slice of pizza as retribution for his proposed limit on soda sizes.

So if no one gets the joke, is the Daily Currant actually funny? We'll let our readers be the judge.

At any rate, if Minnesota really does want to purge itself of Michele Bachmann, it's going to have to be at the polls.


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80 comments
blacksheep
blacksheep

Bachmann bashing is the favorite past-time of the low information Minnesota voters and the  pathetic reporting that tries to pass as journalism these days.

refound.america
refound.america

Awesome at least there's 1person in MN to stand against taxes on tobacco, alcohol, gas, internet tax or raising prices by unionizing all daycares, the consistent additions of costly trains the adding of buses certain cities don't have  the money for. Michelle Thank you for being the only person that has the courage to work for what you have & stand up to the tyrannical rule of corruptions. 

Rich Pankratz
Rich Pankratz

Yeah, sucks when politicians don't keep their word.......like Wellstone. What, too soon? Like I keep typing, if she left, what on earth would CP have to bitch about? And, the rest of you for that matter? Oh well, thank goodness Al Gore invented the interweb so I can share my opinion with all of you educated and open minded individuals. Wait..............wait...............someone just hit the CAPS LOCK!

keny1
keny1

I don't understand you Liberals. You hate her as much as she hates you. Shouldn't that even things out? What's even more funny is that I bet 99% of you who post on here don't even live in her district. How does her politics affect you considering the fact that she has accomplished nothing (as far as her agenda goes) as a Rep? If you live in her district and you don't like her, vote her out. If you don't, your constant whining about her is a waste of your breath. Why don't you focus on your own backyard instead of looking over others?

cmoses0971
cmoses0971

That is what makes the Currant funny! They actually PUNK real news and they latch onto their stories. They are very humerous to me. Satyrical, sarcastic and obscure humor is a gift... Kudos to the Currant. I would LOVE to work for them. :)

And Bachman is completely useless, just as her "Pray the Gay Away" husband who runs clinics to turn gay people straight is. They are the f'ing abomination... To use Bronze Age dialogue... Dipsh*ts!

If she moves anywhere, she needs to go DEEP SOUTH. They are really racists and ignorant there, so she may have a shot at office.

Barry Whalen
Barry Whalen

Why would she move to Oregon in the first place. Oregon is one of the most liberal states in the union. Glad to hear it though. It's tooooooo close to Idaho.

Jacques Laurencot
Jacques Laurencot

Why does she Not Consider just Quitting.... Her existence is Worthless...

Arkadi
Arkadi

This is why I can't stand the Currant. It's hardly satire--just a news site that exclusively runs made-up stories.

Jeffrey James Jasin
Jeffrey James Jasin

Hello Michele. The things you are saying make no sense.Why do you have an office?

Gabriele Dellanave
Gabriele Dellanave

She's just lake the weeds in my back yard the more round I'll give them the more they grow.

SS83
SS83

unfortunately the blatant combination of church and state is cancerous in this nation

Mel Lovejoy
Mel Lovejoy

...another rethug, all talk and no action...

Sherri Garrett Whatley
Sherri Garrett Whatley

Good. She'd probably end up in Texas. We've already got Rick Perry, Joe Barton and a host of others. Please keep her there.

Jim Guy
Jim Guy

DAMN! I knew it was too good to be true. So we're still stuck with that crazy bitch!

Jason Bistodeau
Jason Bistodeau

Damn that lying subhuman talking skinflap and her false promises!

bethann.bloom
bethann.bloom

Best way to get rid of her is to vote her out of office. Jim Graves came close last time and is already organizing to defeat Ms Bachmann. You can find out how you can help to send her away at http://jimgraves.com/

Paul Marcucci
Paul Marcucci

She's needs to move down to Texas. She's a fucking moron !

Kent Klinger
Kent Klinger

As if the opinion from this Socialist Kiddie Shopper mattered to her.

Dan Hunt
Dan Hunt

Can we deport her, somehow?

Keith Ilaug
Keith Ilaug

I see those comments comical on both sides, no one ever leaves.

Onan
Onan

I always wait for verification of these stories from The Onion.

Jeanne Griffin
Jeanne Griffin

I hope I get an invite to Marcus Bachmann's nuptials soon!

Zach Nyhus
Zach Nyhus

But this doesn't mean people need to fucking *vote* for her! Sheesh...

Damian Amberg
Damian Amberg

You better hope she doesn't leave, I'm not sure you'll have anything to really gripe about if she does. Slow news day..

John Roscoe
John Roscoe

That is so unfortunate that she is not leaving...Was kind of hoping she would do us all a favor and leave the United States.

ilonam05
ilonam05

@Rich Pankratz - Why is it that I can feel from here what an angry and lonely little man that you are from here!!  Gosh, where to start about your gal Michelle. Oh, how about her record.  Per Govtrack.us, non partisan website.  Your Michelle has the WORSE VOTING RECORD EVER in the history of Congress.    Missing about 10.5% of the voting. The average is about 2.37% .  Not really working for her constituents now is she?!?!?  Oh and how effective is she??  Well, of the 58 bills she has sponsored.  ONE has made it through the house . EVER  Currently H.R. 45: To repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and health care-related provisions in the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act.  

And her mouth...I mean...she should never open it...ever.  This is why:

"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. ... I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our forbearers who worked tirelessly -- men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country." -Rep. Michele Bachmann, botching American history while speaking at an Iowan's for Tax Relief event in January 2011. The Founding Fathers did not work to end slavery, and John Quincy Adams was not one of the Founding Fathers.  OR

 "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." -Rep. Michelle Bachmann, April, 2009   OR

 "I will tell you that I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa, Florida, after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter." –Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), on the HPV vaccine, Fox News interview, Sept. 12, 2011  OR 

 "If we took away the minimum wage -- if conceivably it was gone -- we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level." -Michele Bachmann, Jan. 2005

And these are but a few, (there were so many to choose from).  And Rich, as far as CP not having Michelle to pick on anymore?!?!  I have a feeling that their will be many more great dumb things she will do and will say for years to come.  



brownlifton
brownlifton

@Rich Pankratz  Hey, jackass, got any more talk-radio "gotcha" lines to parrot? No original thoughts?  FYI Michelle Bachmann is an embarrassment to the GOP, well....because she repeatedly says really stupid things and got caught violating campaign finance laws and she will be leaving office after this year and she'll probably go on lucrative speaking tours in the more bigoted, ignorant parts of the country and write a book to sell at WalMart.

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