Andy Parrish's crazy college op-ed about rape and guns scanned, sent to City Pages [UPDATE]

ParrishPDF.JPG
Parrish once wrote for the UW-River Falls student paper. Boy, would've been nice had he stayed in Wisconsin.
-- Update at bottom of page one  --

Today, a source sent along an op-ed Andy Parrish apparently wrote for the University of Wisconsin-River Falls student newspaper back in February 2004.

The op-ed, entitled "Women should carry guns," is predictably lunatic. In it, Parrish accuses "the left's extreme arrogance" of indirectly causing "hundreds of thousands of women to be raped every year" and pulls statistics out of his ass indicating that "548 women per day [don't] get raped because they protected themselves with a handgun."

SEE ALSO: Andy Parrish on marriage amendment defeat: 'We won 74 out of 87 counties'

He doesn't mean 548 women per day in the entire world or just in America. He means 548 women per day don't get raped because they're packing heat just in states that allow residents to carry guns in public. Of course, he doesn't cite any sources for any of his numbers.

He also says the National Organization for Women "must want" women to get raped because they're opposed to people openly brandishing firearms wherever they are, whenever they want, and that, of course, makes women more vulnerable to rape than they would be if they walked around town with rocket launchers.

Parrish, formerly one of Michele Bachmann's best buddies and the man who led the (unsuccessful) effort to pass the marriage amendment and the (unsuccessful) effort to block marriage equality, currently works as Julianne Ortman's campaign manager. Ortman, a MNGOP Senator, wants to unseat Al Franken next year. This week, she got in hot water for dramatically exaggerating her resume on her website and Facebook page.

Here's an excerpt of Parrish's op-ed. The whole thing is embedded on page two of this post.
When it comes to a person's right to carry a firearm, especially a woman's, I have never met a liberal who makes sense, or who is consistent. On this topic, the left's extreme arrogance, which I call Mad Democrat Disease (very similar to Mad Cow Disease), indirectly causes hundreds of thousands of women to be raped every year while the left does nothing but condone rape by fighting conceal and carry laws everywhere they are up for a vote.

In states with personal protection acts, more than 200,000 women per year fight off sexual attackers with a gun. That's an average of 548 women per day who do not get raped because they protected themselves with a handgun. In those cases, the gun is never fired 92 percent of the time. It just poses a neutralizing threat to the attacker.

Where are all the feminists at? Don't those silly women over at N.O.W. understand that this is a great way for women to defend themselves and stop being constant victims of men? You would think N.O.W. and other women's rights organizations wouldn't want men to be raping women but they must want these types of attacks since they don't want women to carry guns. As usual these leftists groups never bring logic into anything they do. So why would they start now?

How often have we heard left wing liberal claim guns are evil in and of themselves? When was the last time you saw a gun load itself, jump off a table, walk into school and kill students all on its own?
Parrish concludes his op-ed by writing that he has "to bring this article to a close before the gun store closes. I plan on getting a handgun for my girlfriend so she does not become the statistic of a violent crime."

"Support our troops, support our president and have a great conservative day," he signs off.

Good luck to you, Mrs. Ortman. You're going to need it.

(Click to page two to read Parrish's entire op-ed.)

:::: UPDATE ::::

It's been brought to City Pages' attention that earlier this year, Parrish bashed Franken for making a joke about raping CBS TV journalist Lesley Stahl during his Saturday Night Live days.

Here's a tweet Parrish published on May 31:

parrishRapeTweet.JPG

Seems awfully hypocritical in light of Parrish's "I plan on getting a handgun for my girlfriend so she does not become the statistic of a violent crime" quip in the op-ed, doesn't it?



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24 comments
_Joe_
_Joe_

I bet Parrish sent this in himself in a desperate attempt to remain relevant.

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

These right-wing reactionaries always get in trouble with complicated issues, because their opinions are frequently self-contradictory, and are always emotional rather than rational in basis.  Anything related to guns falls into this category.  Violence overall in our society is plummeting, and guns have nothing to do with it statistically.  The only study that ever linked more guns to less crime was supposedly done by John Lott, except he claims his computer crashed and now he can't find any of his evidence.  But that doesn't stop the Right from citing this completely fictitious survey that never happened.

Then there's the issue of female sexuality.  The Right simply can't figure out how they feel about that.  On the one hand, they like pussy as much as anyone else.  But sexually active women are evil and irresponsible.  And very, very desirable.  And nothing is more desirable that a sexually aggressive woman with a gun.  In a terrifying way.

The sweaty, tangled, confused snake's nest of emotion around these issues makes for completely illogical and contradictory opinions and statements.  No wonder people like Andy Parrish can't ever make any sense, and always insult somebody.  When you can't think logically about your own emotions, fears and desires, you aren't going to make sense on a rational level.  But at least you'll have a lot of company.

DavidFoureyes
DavidFoureyes topcommenter

Here is the thing: There is a terrible battle going in a rational person's mind between a desire to call-out the absence of any logic and child-like thinking of this type and the desire to shut up and continue to let GOP operators put their dicks in their ears with this shit. The second strategy actually seems to be working, so get more microphones in front of these fools.

This article is a bit old, but I will bet you Andy Parrish would still stand behind it (though he may have developed the good sense to defer when asked directly: "Is the best way to curtail rape, to arm everyone, or for those that would commit rape to act like humans and not animals?")

webcelt
webcelt

One update to the update, Franken wasn't with SNL in 1995. The report came out then that he came up with the joke in the 70's. So Parrish is trying to bash Franken for a joke almost 40 years ago that Franken wisely opted against using. Parrish can't come up with anything more recent? That's rather telling.

Edward Bertsch
Edward Bertsch

He was blaming the NOW and their ilk, not the raped women in particular.

Jonathan Hoffman
Jonathan Hoffman

Its crazy to blame women for getting raped because they aren't packing heat.

Edward Bertsch
Edward Bertsch

Cause the left never does those things right? Especially in bong smoke infused letters to the editor of their college newspaper?

Nathan Conley
Nathan Conley

The premise of self defense is great. Throwing out random insults in a ranting manner, while pulling numbers out of a hat is plain loony. That's the point!

Edward Bertsch
Edward Bertsch

What's crazy about self defense? City pages you do not disappoint...

kennyX
kennyX

@swmnguy So what you are saying is that females should not arm themselves to deter rape. They should just ask their perpetrator to hold on for a few minutes while they call 911?

You must also believe in the Tooth Fairy. 

green23
green23 topcommenter

@DavidFoureyes  I agree with your comments. The Right is really just throwing a tantrum. it's not much more complicated than that. Just as a two year-old thinks that everyone watching them squall is siding with them and against their parents, the conservatives really believe that the public finds them to be persuasive. 

Part of the "battle going on in the rational person's mind" is that they don't want to just "write off" conservatives as squalling two year-olds. So there's this game of false equivalence going on, and it's getting increasingly desperate.  There just isn't parallel craziness on the other side, and those crazies have no stature. You can see this in kenny's comments. If you don't unquestioningly accept the premises of the Right's rhetoric, then you are 'biased' and should be ignored. Obviously, people like kenny have no bias -- at least in their own minds. It's odd that conservatives routinely present themselves as free of bias and as "free thinkers", yet they parrot each other and change their views in lockstep. 

I also noted with wry amusement the "support the President" part of Parrish's rant. Virtually none of the conservatives today can recall the vehemence with which they defended Bush, nor the way they portrayed criticism of a President as "tantamount to treason". They have simply hit the "reset" button in their memory. In six or seven years, we will see virtually all conservatives denying that they ever said the things they are saying today. Instead, the Tea Party will portrayed by them as a minute fringe, or possibly as Democrats trolling in an effort to make them look unreasonable.

kennyX
kennyX

@DavidFoureyes YOU ARE CORRECT! BAN GUNS! MORE GOVERNMENT!! DISARM THE PEOPLE!! MORE OBAMACARE TO DISSUADE RAPISTS!! YEAH!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!!! 

kennyX
kennyX

@DavidFoureyes 

Says the person who voted TWICE for Obama just to prove that you are not "racist".

kennyX
kennyX

@webcelt So poking fun of raping doesn't matter which decade it was stated in?

ludwitr
ludwitr

 Explain to me how the issue of rape has anything at all to do with handguns, Ed?  Isn't the real issue here not self defense, but the indecency of man in general to carry out the action of rape?  Shouldn't this be an education and social issue?   Instead of teaching men that women are to be respected as an equal member of society, who SHOULDN'T BE RAPED FOR ANY REASON, EVER, everyone should just go out and obviously buy a bigger gun, huh?

digitalprotocol
digitalprotocol topcommenter

@kennyX  it is clear that you are the most likely to be a rapist... 

im sure it is your fantasy, that and having gay sex with Nixon

j.reiter
j.reiter

Just because you wrote a whole bunch of nonsense doesn't make it legitimate. I also think it is interesting that your post is a perfect example of throwing a tantrum that you accuse conservatives of doing.

digitalprotocol
digitalprotocol topcommenter

@kennyX you poke fun at rape and many other topics you have no business discussing. 

if i need my HVAC cleaned, ill let you know

kennyX is a nerd toucher

j.reiter
j.reiter

You just made the argument that rapists can be reasoned with and that women should not be allowed to defend themselves because "training" could have solved the problem. Nice.

Drewey
Drewey topcommenter

@j.reiter It's called an observation...look it up.  Kinda like I just observed you proving green23's point.  

digitalprotocol
digitalprotocol topcommenter

@kennyX what type of higher education did you go to ?  a business school   LOL

why not stop the back and forth - shit isnt black and white, right or left


you tiny nerd

kennyX
kennyX

@j.reiter You are asking logical questions directed to people who have succumb to the very concept of logic. In other words, you are asking Liberals a logical question. Need I say more? 

They deflect questions and respond by using nonsensical remarks while using fancy wording that got them straight A's while they were brainwashed in Liberal Arts Colleges. (See DavidFourEyes). You cannot reason with these derelicts. They live in their own fantasy Utopian world.  

Let them be. 

j.reiter
j.reiter

So now we are talking about 5 - 10 year olds? In your previous post you only referred to men and the indecency of men. In what world do children ever hear that rape is ok? I know in the culture and society that I grew up in, it was considered a horrible offense. And it seems more often than not that people on the left sure like to attack those beliefs and traditions. I guess the difference between you and me is that I think most people are capable of knowing right from wrong; like don't forcibly have sex with a Person against their will. While you believe people grow up in a vacuum and are morons that commit rape because the government failed them. Logically, you are implying that rapists are not responsible for their actions.

ludwitr
ludwitr

@j.reiter Rapist, being someone who already committed a crime?  Nope, they sure can't.  Are you telling me that 5-10 year olds are rapists, and cannot be reasoned with?

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