Bachmannistan: The 5 craziest revelations in the new Michele Bachmann tell-all

Long rumored in political circles, the insider expose on Michele Bachmann has finally become available as an e-book called Bachmannistan.

"The explosive first tell all book about the secretive world of Michele Bachmann and her political machinations that led to her dramatic retirement from Congress this year," the text promises. "A behind-the-lines look into Bachmannistan where immoral, illegal and unethical behavior was either condoned or ignored."

The book is available for purchase for $2.99, and it's a breezy read if you don't mind Republican score-settling sprinkled with occasional jabs at Rachel Maddow and Hillary Clinton.

The best parts are about Michele and Marcus. Here are the five craziest revelations.

5. Michele Bachmann once fired someone on Christmas Eve

4. Michele and Marcus sometimes sleep in separate bedrooms -- but not for the reason you think

3. Michele Bachmann allegedly paid a ghost writer $100,000 to write her crappy book

2. Michele Bachmann has a legal fixer on retainer

1. Michele Bachmann demanded to see a copy of the book in January, but was summarily denied

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