LOL at this New York Times article about the Minneapolis dating scene

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The New York Times recently visited Minneapolis to explore our dating scene and the resulting article may be the funniest thing you ever read about the sex life of your friends.


To hear the Gray Lady tell it, we're all a bunch of shot-and-a-beer drinking hipsters who cluster around Uptown to sleep with our friends' exes in a desperate attempt to secure companionship before the inevitable nine-month winter snow-in.

Also: Big Buck Hunter plays a major role in our mating rituals.

You can read the whole article here, but allow us to provide you with the Cliff's Notes:

The main thing you need to know about Uptown is that it lacks skyways.
For residents of Uptown, which lacks skyways, going out can be a pastime for the very hearty -- or the very motivated.

All of our dating revolves around the inevitable arrival of cold weather
"You want to fall in love in winter," said Hayley Lindma, a 23-year-old artist who was with three friends at Mort's, as everyone calls it, surrounded by dartboards, Big Buck Hunter games and a jukebox. When it's cold, she said, "You want to stay home and cuddle and watch movies and eat food and be with your pets."

"Summer's for flings," said Ms. Lindma, who was wearing her shock of platinum hair piled atop her head.

Minneapolis men get all their best pick-up lines from Game of Thrones
Men are always telling her she looks like Khaleesi, a character from "Game of Thrones," a line she thinks is cheesy.
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We make fun of hipsters, but secretly want to be them.
"We hate on hipsters, but we all dress like them," Ms. McElver said.

Our hipsters are actually a sub-species known as Hipsterus Mineapolite known for their unusual politeness.
While their counterparts in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, or the Silverlake neighborhood of Los Angeles are defined (and derided) for their blasé pose, their Twin Cities brothers and sisters, while blessed with the same clunky glasses, working-class-chic attire and fixed-gear bikes, retain the openness and generosity of the region.

New Yorkers can see through our "too cool for school" dance moves and recognize our interior Lutheran sensibilities.
"Minnesota Nice," that affectionately mocking appellation, shines through even the densest layers of flannel.

We read alternative weeklies like City Pages, and go to bars like the CC Club.
He and some friends were planning to move on to their next destination: the CC Club, a spot on South Lyndale that was recently the subject of a cover article in City Pages, a weekly newspaper, about its long, boozy history in the city's music scene. (It's the bar immortalized in the Replacements' song "Here Comes a Regular.")
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We order a shot and a beer, which in New York requires busting out the French dictionary.
Then again, many of the local bars offer excellent deals, like a prix fixe special at the Nomad World Pub of a tall boy of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Jameson, for $5.

The only thing that local men and women have in common is Big Buck Hunter.
One time, Mr. Wayne was sent over to a woman playing Big Buck Hunter and instructed to tell her that she "smells like a killer."
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We have all slept with each other by transitive property.
"One thing I'd say about Minneapolis is that if you've slept with one girl, you know 10 guys she's slept with, and half of them are your friends, and vice versa for women with guys -- that's just the way it is," said Mr. Heins, a tall, bearded, soft-spoken guy dressed entirely in black. "You're not going to worry as much because, 'Oh, it's Minneapolis,' " he said. "So you can't harbor hate."

We are all living the dream.
Does the life she has now live up to that dream?, the visitor asked.
"Oh, yeah," she said. "Oh, yeah."

Big Buck Hunter and Pabst, FTW!


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107 comments
allyourbasearebelong
allyourbasearebelong

Go out to three bars and talk to four people and this is what you get... just enough quips to go home and make fun of another city less superior to New York.  Oh, and make sure to drop a Prince reference.  WE ALL LOVE PRINCE.

digitalprotocol
digitalprotocol topcommenter

who wants to date a city pages top commenter?

Jozi Neal
Jozi Neal

OMG, the I remember the CC ... not sure if I'd date anybody that hung out there (at least when I'd swing through there)

Andrea Loza
Andrea Loza

Its a fluff piece, its not meant to be hard hitting news.

Samson Lee Heldt
Samson Lee Heldt

True, but the "journalist" could have at least written something that was a little more focused rather than that spastic pile of a joke.

Lola House
Lola House

"One thing I'd say about Minneapolis is that if you've slept with one girl, you know 10 guys she's slept with, and half of them are your friends, and vice versa for women with guys -- that's just the way it is," Wait, WHAT?

Brad Crowe
Brad Crowe

My mom and dad met there in 1966!!

bradcrowe1
bradcrowe1

LMAO.  Thats where my parents met in 1966 lol

Haley Rae Anderson
Haley Rae Anderson

I agree with Jed Johnson. How did the original article make the NYT?

Michael Hall
Michael Hall

How ironic The hipsters are trashing the place Great drink Interesting crowd No place to pick up chicks And that was in the 80's

Ryan Duffney
Ryan Duffney

Minnesota "mean" lol... I have been to states with "nicer" people...

k2yeb
k2yeb topcommenter

Oh dating. You go out with a girl and in the dim lights she looks like NYC. You wake up the next day and look over and you see New Jersey. 

gbtoxic57
gbtoxic57

I am not even tall. I am only 6 foot.

Ben Andrew
Ben Andrew

oops. Looks like the city pages got a little butt hurt.

Kyle J. Holman
Kyle J. Holman

Hipster much? Apparently I do since I stopped going there before most of the people that now hang out there moved to Minneapolis.

myjah
myjah

I wish they had gone to Liquor Lyle's too.

Kitty Berg
Kitty Berg

Maybe they hired people from Fox News to write their "stories".

Kitty Berg
Kitty Berg

HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHICH 10 MEN I'VE SLEPT WITH IF I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH 10 MEN. Man. People in NY must be sluts.

Donald Sergent
Donald Sergent

The CC Club smells like armpit and I would not drink there if you paid me

Natalie Murray
Natalie Murray

baha i was one of the girls in there that he interviewed..

Astronaurt
Astronaurt

So yeah, I definitely LOL'd at the Article but I think a response to could've gone beyond kinda' petty backhanded remarks to excerpts from it. Like I'm sure the author met and talked with a bunch more sane and reasonable and less trashy people and remembered that normal people don't make for great stories. How about pointing out the obvious bias in the fact he's writing from a Fashion and style segment; If New Yorkers think we're sluts then they can either get down on that and come find out themselves, or if they can't then they just stay in their crowded dirty town.

Besides, "We order a shot and a beer, which in New York requires busting out the French dictionary" The Nomad calls their Shot+PBR $5 special "The Prix Fixe," if you're going to rag on someone at least do your reading first.

carolinebering
carolinebering

Its not about the city its about the man.Not my way of living, but whatever floats her boat.. Don't think it does..

MikeHock
MikeHock

skanky unshaven women frequent the CC..unwashed,low income, wannabe musician guys also inhabit this grotesquely over-rated non-hot-spot.

red30
red30

"The openness and generorsity of the region?" There's your LOL.

MikeHock
MikeHock

CC Club was cool in 1991..But horrible journalism lives on.

Buddy Daoud
Buddy Daoud

I used to have a house on that same block

Danielle Henkels
Danielle Henkels

Like NY is so much better for dating? I don't think there is a good city to date in!

Matthew Martin
Matthew Martin

Seems like typical reactions to me... just wait a week. We'll read an article about how Minneapolis/St. Paul is the: best place to live, best cycling, best craft beer etc... and we'll be puffing out our chests and bragging again.

Kikki Weems Boersma
Kikki Weems Boersma

Um. I'm not even IN the dating scene and this article reads like a poorly laid out joke. But I suppose since we're all hipsters we don't care anyway.

rellimnitsuj
rellimnitsuj

No eat street, no northeast dives, no north-loop-secret-basement-olivettas? The Times sucks.

Sara Pluralpeni
Sara Pluralpeni

the CC SUCKS once your past 30 unless its around noon when the kids are away

Matthew Jay
Matthew Jay

I've heard of sloppy seconds, but sloppy tens?!?

Kevin Drew
Kevin Drew

I just want to be in that scene so bad. Oh yeah.....oh yeah.

jaylward2
jaylward2

@Danielle Henkels Accurate statement Danielle. I've lived in both places for several years.

GasketDan
GasketDan

@MarteaniArt didn't that experience show you that the cc club is definitely where you'll meet mr. right?

GasketDan
GasketDan

@MarteaniArt he will refuse any dates until you prove that you do indeed have a pocket full of amethysts

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