Authorities can't stop Weird Wisconsin beach sex

naturalistsbeach.jpg
Because nothing screams romance like the prospect of intercourse on a Wisconsin nudist beach.
In 2012, Wisconsin authorities closed the public forest around the Madison-area Mazo nudie beach in hopes it'd curtail people from going in the woods and getting it on. But it didn't do the trick, and so earlier this year, they closed the beach on weekdays.

SEE ALSO: Wisconsin man arrested for humping discarded curbside couch

Unfortunately for authorities, that hasn't worked either. In other words, it appears there's no stopping Weird Wisconsin beach sex. All haters can do is hope to contain it.

From a Winona Daily News report:
The Department of Natural Resources issued 13 citations at the beach between June and early October this year. All were for sex, and 11 were issued on weekends. Those numbers are down from 2012's totals, but wardens said the problem is far more prevalent than the numbers suggest. All the citations were issued during just seven days of surveillance and some people seen having sex ran off before wardens could cite them.
Nathan Kroeplin, DNR law enforcement supervisor for the county encompassing Mazo Beach, told the Daily News, "There's definitely frustration." (He wasn't referring to sexual frustration, of course.)

"Some of the stuff we cited people for was fairly discreet," Kroeplin continued, "but there was other stuff out in the wide open and never once did I see somebody come up and say, 'stop that.'"

But don't fret, nudists of the upper Midwest. Even though authorities are pretty much out of ideas when it comes to stopping people from bumping uglies on and around the beach, Kroeplin told the Daily News officers aren't yet considering closing the beach entirely.

"That would be a pretty big step and I don't know if we're ready to go there yet," he said.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at arupar@citypages.com.

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88 comments
Mark Hamilton
Mark Hamilton

Woah Woah Woah! I still see a nipple, who tried to censor this?

Michelle Alderfer
Michelle Alderfer

Jo Beattie Bryson, Suzanne Bryson and Lance Bryson I think you need to find out where this is at so we can all go!!!!

Shawn Ramsey
Shawn Ramsey

Looks like this page has a serious case of the tratters.

Tanner Slade Olson
Tanner Slade Olson

Oh im sorry a law was broken, there has never been a stupid law before?

Chris Butler
Chris Butler

Laughing, there are several nude beaches on the MI side of Lake MI...trust me on this one.

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

As is accepting the fact that a law was broken and now there's a fine to pay. Keep it inside so everyone can enjoy their day. Not everybody woke up and wanted to see two strangers get it on in the woods.

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

Damn right they will, hell, look at a map...Wisconsin blows Minnesota all day every day for the who universe to see

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

Probably the nudists who don't want their beach shut down because a handful of people couldn't be bothered to find a room

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

Someone actually caught the fact that it was the DNR issuing the tickets. Kudos to you

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

The DNR is not the local police, so rest assured that the police really are worrying about the true crimes

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

It also said, "but there was other stuff out in the wide open and never once did I see somebody come up and say, 'stop that.'" But if nobody minded it happening, surely we should ignore the fact that it is illegal until we see people nailing each other on a playground during recess...but only to protect the children. I suppose that could trigger a spur the moment Sex Ed class though...

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

I took the time to read all the way down to the fifth paragraph of a six paragraph article and found this buried way down there... "but there was other stuff out in the wide open and never once did I see somebody come up and say, 'stop that.'" And as far as the forest being littered with prophylactics...what kind of sick protection free sex forest do you have pictured in your head? If people are hooking up on a nude beach and getting it on, I certainly hope that forest is littered with rubbers.

Geoff Gurak
Geoff Gurak

Nothing like some good old fashioned Wisconsin bashing.

Nicole Coriaty
Nicole Coriaty

I think it may be a little too cold for this to continue...bummer

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

Is it just because they're in the woods a few feet away from a public place that makes it acceptable, or would you be cool with watching consenting adults utilize a bus stop bench to get it on? Just curious as to where the line is drawn between being acceptable and unacceptable. Point is, they're breaking a law, and I'm sure the detectives that are out there trying to solve rapes and murders aren't the ones issuing the tickets. I admit that there are worse offenses occurring all the time, but sometimes you have to focus on the little ones to show people that it's still against the law. These people aren't doing time in prison, they're getting a ticket...and it probably doesn't even cost as much as a speeding ticket. Can't pay the fine, don't do the crime. There's an old expression that I know we have all heard before...GET A ROOM!

Jeremy Aurzada
Jeremy Aurzada

Oh Wisconsin you are truly our wired crazy uncle to the east

Cathy Budlong
Cathy Budlong

This goes on my lake. It is rampant. Something about the spring fed water.

Andy Stealth Trattar
Andy Stealth Trattar

A lot of people seem pissed off that the cops are busting people for breaking a law...not a major law, but a law nonetheless. Why are they worried about it? Money? If people are doing it a lot, you'll go where you can write some easy tickets...sorta like cops watching that stop sign everybody always coasts through. Are bigger crimes happening, sure...but you have to enforce laws for the smaller ones on occasion. Anyway, having said all that...who really cares? Its not like they're banging in the middle of the street.

Lindsey Reynolds
Lindsey Reynolds

Hahaha!!! Guess Santa's gonna have to find a new fishing hole... Badup-badup-bup-bup!! Haha!!

Lindsey Reynolds
Lindsey Reynolds

Ummm Jessica Truedson- is this the beach we always canoed past?!?! Hahaha!!!

Anthony Corral
Anthony Corral

I use to canoe past it in high school w/ my buddies LOL its always been an issue i guess... (if thats what you want to call it)

Anthony Corral
Anthony Corral

Mazomanie, WI. I use to canoe past it in high school w/ my buddies LOL

Jeremy Pingel
Jeremy Pingel

Tah gotta do something in Wisconsin, why not on the beach to a bon fire

whateveryousay
whateveryousay topcommenter

A colony of fire ants should do the trick


Shawn Ramsey
Shawn Ramsey

Oh no....People have sex outdoors! Sounds like a major crime to me! Police really need to worry about the true crimes and leave these people alone.

Kasandra L Johnson
Kasandra L Johnson

I don't understand why this is such an issue. Are the forests being littered with prophylactics? Are people offended? I just don't see the public nuisance if they are headed off in the woods. If a couple started humping right next time someone else, I could see complaints, but this article doesn't suggest that.

Kayla Fuller
Kayla Fuller

If you follow City Pages the article automatically appears in your timeline. Even if you don't follow it, but your friend comments or likes a post, you'll see it in your timeline. No search words needed. ;)

Adrian Landreth
Adrian Landreth

Do what the DNR always does to get rid of something annoying; introduce another pest like a northern climate tolerant No-seeum.

Eddie Lyndberg
Eddie Lyndberg

Nice to know you have all this time to go after consenting adults having sex. All while people are getting robbed, raked, and murdered. You know, the serious crimes.

Peter Shpiller
Peter Shpiller

because they can't guarantee that only cops will be born

Mel Smith
Mel Smith

Wow, Jim Jim Peters and Sara Smith Peters! I always thought Wisconsin was way different than this! Scary!

iampatrick
iampatrick

There should be more places like that.... No big deal...

lablandln
lablandln

It is just sex. No big deal. As long as they are adults, who cares. There are a lot of other things to worry about a lot more about.

lablandln
lablandln

It is just sex. So what. If they are adults and consenting ones, who cares.

Joe Carroll
Joe Carroll

I didn't post this, so I don't know why I'm being tagged. In fact, I don't know why some people insist on using tags so much when addressing people, it's kinda annoying. If I'm following a topic, I'm already getting a notification tagging should only be used for emphasis, or if you *really* need to get someone's attention, IMO.

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