Minnesotans have relatively little sexual stamina, study says

Categories: Lists, Sex
sexrank.jpg
Map via Nerve
Minnesota's typical sexcapade is the shortest in the Midwest, the study concludes.
A pair of recent studies relating to sex haven't reflected well on the residents of the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

SEE ALSO: Coffee shop first date live-tweeted by City Pages blogger

The first, published a couple of months ago, concluded that Minnesota men have relatively small penises. [Insert joke about how I wasn't included in the sample here.] And now comes word that all ya'll have relatively little sexual stamina.

The sexual stamina study uses data from Spreadsheets, a mobile app that "monitors data from user's movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed," according to its website.

[Insert another joke about how I haven't downloaded the Spreadsheets app.]

"Find out how many thrusts per minute you're averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance," the site's FAQ continues, though the app "does not record or playback audio or video. That would be creepy."

Anyway, using data from 10,000 users, Spreadsheets broke down the relative stamina of each state, and it turns out Minnesota is home to a bunch of two-pump chumps. Here are the results:

1. New Mexico - (7:01)
2. West Virginia - (5:38)
3. Idaho - (5:11)
4. South Carolina - (4:48)
5. Missouri - (4:22)
6. Michigan -(4:14)
7. Utah - (3:55)
8. Oregon - (3:51)
9. Nebraska - (3:47)
10. Alabama - (3:38)
11. Delaware - (3:33)
12. Hawaii - (3:28)
13. Wisconsin - (3:22)
14. North Dakota - (3:18)
15. Arizona - (3:17)
16. Maryland - (3:15)
17. Mississippi - (3:10)
18. Rhode Island - (3:09)
19. Connecticut - (3:07)
20. Texas - (3:06)
21. New Hampshire - (3:04)
22. Wyoming - (3:03)
23. New York - (3:01)
24. Pennsylvania - (2:58)
25. Maine - (2:58)
26. Washington - (2:51)
27. Iowa - (2:50)
28. Illinois - (2:49)
29. North Carolina - (2:47)
30. Tennessee - (2:46)
31. Kansas - (2:38)
32. California - (2:38)
33. Massachusetts - (2:31)
34. Florida - (2:29)
35. New Jersey - (2:28)
36. Indiana - (2:26)
37. Virginia - (2:23)
38. Oklahoma - (2:21)
39. Colorado - (2:21)
40. Minnesota - (2:19)
41. Ohio - (2:18)
42. Louisiana - (2:17)
43. Kentucky - (2:14)
44. Arkansas - (2:08)
45. District of Columbia - (2:08)
46. Nevada - (2:07)
47. Georgia - (2:07)
48. Montana - (2:03)
49. Vermont - (1:48)
50. South Dakota - (1:30)
51. Alaska - (1:21)

It should be noted that the Spreadsheet data doesn't include time spent foreplaying, but still -- Minnesota men who are getting some apparently have to work on taking a deep breath, relaxing, and keeping in mind, even during the heat of passion, that love (making) is about the journey, not the destination.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at arupar@citypages.com.

My Voice Nation Help
52 comments
matthewLCS83
matthewLCS83

Thats a total lie. I can go for far more then 7 mins and born and raised in minnesota so your expert is wrong and needs to re-calculate.

Michael T Anderson
Michael T Anderson

Yah note one thing about most of dark blue states the divorce rates are higher

Steve Rife
Steve Rife

How come I wasn't part of the survey ?

Betty Hindbjorgen
Betty Hindbjorgen

I know they're not including foreplay but come on. The highest number is only 7 minutes and 1 second! Ha. I'm not buying it. :D

Ross Menk
Ross Menk

I am not buying that shit for a second lmao Law Offices of Menk & Menk

Connr Fychan
Connr Fychan

All of those numbers are incredibly high.

Shantel Radermacher
Shantel Radermacher

....It's because we're too tired from shoveling all this snow lol!!!

Casey Crawford
Casey Crawford

Its hard to keep the engine when its 10-50 below, he thought it was time to hibernate

Angela Robinson
Angela Robinson

Lmao to all comments posted! Surely we rank somewhere in the middle. There's no real scientific proof to prove otherwise!

Erin Munn
Erin Munn

Heh- maybe that's my problem. I thought I was just getting old. ;)

Nancy Moore
Nancy Moore

Apparently this is based only on men.

Andy Herzog
Andy Herzog

Well if it's determined by knocking around and yelling, of course we won't win! We're nice and quiet and polite and would be mortified if the neighbors could hear us through the wall. NM don't give no shits.

Charlie Seto
Charlie Seto

Indeed, it's possible that people in MN aren't padding their numbers? However, we are the land of Lake Wobegon, so I was expecting better.

midwestexplorer81
midwestexplorer81 topcommenter

I always say it's the quality of the thrusts not the quantity. Duh!  



Rob Mellem
Rob Mellem

I've never been happier to be from Wisconsin!

Josh Balsness
Josh Balsness

They should do a study on the most honest states now.

Mahad Muhammad
Mahad Muhammad

Oh please!! Whoever did this study obviously hasn't been in my bed.

Nick Orlick
Nick Orlick

Its true my penis has a mind of its own.

Jeff Goldy
Jeff Goldy

I think there is an issue with sample size. Insert joke here.

barbertj23
barbertj23

This info is based on an ap that is willingly downloaded by people to record themselves having sex?

1st: Wow, that's really creepy.

2nd: I'm sure they're totally accurate based on the sample group.

knighti8
knighti8

This didn't take into account any foreplay. Or whether or not that only a "quickie" was in order.

Bob B Bopp
Bob B Bopp

I blaim obombercare for making evryone GAY MARY!!

MasonMakram
MasonMakram

@citypages Who is doing these studies? Can we put that manpower into curing cancer? Or have them run on hamster wheels for clean energy?

Isaac Nunez
Isaac Nunez

Makes me proud for once to be a New Mexico Native :)

Jerry Hart
Jerry Hart

Obviously they havent tested this theory in the winter months here.

Joe Lien
Joe Lien

That's (statistically) what she said.

nrupar1
nrupar1

200 per state, way too low

barbertj23
barbertj23

The next study:

Men who secretly videotape the women they bring home have pretty low standards, by state.

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