The Minnesota Timberwolves All-Arrested team

Not a bad big three: Beasley (left), Big Al, and Rider (right).
Sure, it's not quite on the level of the Vikings All-Arrested team we wrote about a few years ago, but following Dante Cunningham's arrests (the plural is not a typo), the Minnesota Timberwolves can now go eight deep with a squad made up exclusively of players who landed in the crime blotter while playing here.

And you know what? It's not a terrible roster, with a nice mix of interior size and perimeter scoring and decent depth to boot. As coach, you'd just have to make sure to keep a close eye on your scoring wings during roadtrips to Colorado and Washington, if you catch our drift.

See also:
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Without further ado, here's the team:


Center: Michael Olowokandi

Why he was arrested: Around 3 a.m. on November 25, 2004, Olowokandi was shocked twice with a stun gun after he allegedly refused to leave an Indianapolis nightclub. He was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing but later acquitted.

Analysis: "The Kandi Man" was the top overall pick in the 1998 NBA Draft, but his NBA career was a disappointment. That said, the seven-footer is still a big body who can provide some needed interior defense for the All-Arrested squad.

Power forward: Al Jefferson

Why he was arrested: Around 1 a.m. on February 28, 2010, Big Al was arrested for DWI while driving on I-394 near downtown Minneapolis. He was suspended for two games, apologized, and pleaded guilty. His sentence ended up being community service and a $300 fine.

Analysis: Jefferson is the All-Arrested team's stud. Now 29, he's kept his nose clean since leaving Minnesota and is having a career year for the playoff-bound Charlotte Bobcats.

Small forward: Michael Beasley

Why he was arrested: Around 3 a.m. on June 26, 2011, Beasley was pulled over in Minnetonka for speeding. An officer noticed a strong marijuana order emanating from his car. When it was searched, 16.2 grams of ganja was found in a plastic bag. Though Beasley claimed it belonged to a friend, he was given a $128 ticket. (So Beasley wasn't actually arrested in Minnesota, though he was arrested for doing pretty much the same thing last summer in Arizona.)

Analysis: Beasley has been off way more than he's been on throughout his NBA career, but on any given night he can go off for 20-plus points while making it look B-Easy.

Shooting guard: J.R. Rider

Why he was arrested: During his three seasons in Minnesota, the mercurial Rider was convicted of kicking the female manager of a sports bar and for possessing both pot and an illegal cell phone. (It had been altered to charge calls to someone else's bill.)

Analysis: Beasley and Rider have a lot in common -- they're both talented, troubled, and have a taste for the sticky icky. But as far as the All-Arrested team is concerned, they make for a formidable scoring combination. (Defense is another story.)

Point guard: Anthony Carter

Why he was arrested: Just after bar close on March 3, 2006, Carter was arrested for DWI near downtown Minneapolis. His blood alcohol level was 0.17, or more than twice the legal limit.

Analysis: Carter is pretty much the epitome of a journeyman point guard, having played for six teams during a 13 year NBA career that finally ended in 2012. But hey, somebody has to handle the ball, right?

(For the All-Arrested backups, click to page two.)

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