Minneapolis Police Department terrorism video is unintentionally hilarious

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A Minneapolis cop who looks to be Anderson Cooper reports a suspicious bag in the skyway.
A couple days ago, the Minneapolis Police Department released a video entitled, "How you can recognize the 8 indicators leading up to acts of crime and terrorism." The clip was produced using federal dollars and the help of a nonprofit called the Counterterrorism Education Learning Lab (CELL).

As the name indicates, the video, narrated by Vikings receiver Greg Jennings and WCCO TV news anchor Amelia Santaniello, is meant to provide easily digestible information about terrorism prevention for everyday Minneapolitans in an at least somewhat watchable format. And while its release the week before thousands of out-of-towners arrive in town for the MLB All-Star Game might seem like more than a coincidence, MPD spokesman Scott Seroka says it mostly is.

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"It's not like we have any credible-type threats," Seroka tell us, adding that the MPD didn't spend a cent on the project.

It's probably good that they didn't, because frankly, we find the whole thing to be more humorous than educational. But before we get into the reasons for that, watch for yourself:

Now that you're up to speed, here are some of the funniest things we saw (feel free to kick in your two cents in the comments):

-- One of the evil terrorists in the clip looks to be a Midwestern soccer mom --

Okay, we know the MPD and CELL wanted to stay miles away from allegations of racial profiling -- that's totally understandable. But really, judging by appearances, the woman in the hoodie could be the first person in human history to commit an atrocity immediately after leaving yoga class:

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Her look certainly doesn't conjure up images of Osama, but in the video, the woman is seen nefariously photographing the IDS Center's Crystal Court, trying to sneakily glean information from a computer she shouldn't be looking at, and pumping strangers for intel. We're led to believe she's out to use all this to turn the Twin Cities into a fiery wasteland.

Then again, perhaps portraying a woman who looks like she could be a Bachmann staffer as a terrorist hints at one the main points the video intends to get across. As Tony Webster puts it, "Thank you Minneapolis PD, I now know that literally everyone is a terrorist."

And on a related note:

-- Everybody in the video is really suspicious of everybody else, all the time --

Just check out the look on this ultra-vigilant LRT passenger's face as he scours the train for potential terrorists:

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In related news, the Twins recently became the first pro team in Minnesota to install metal detectors at all entry gates -- a policy that goes a considerable way toward making entering Target Field like trying to get through security at MSP.

It's enough to get you thinking along these lines:

(There's plenty more where this came from. Click to page two to check it out.)



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17 comments
juliagoolia
juliagoolia

I get why everyone is making fun of it but the whole point of having the "yoga" lady is to show that it's NOT about appearance and anyone is a potential suspect. Just because someone doesn't look the part doesn't mean they aren't up to something. And no, I don't think they're saying "suspect everyone!" lol but more just be aware of your surroundings and if someone leaves a bag or backpack, let security or police know. If it turns out to be nothing (which 9 times out of 10 it is) then no harm done but if it is something then you've just saved a lot of people from harm! I don't think it's bad to try to make us all more aware and try to keep people safe. Being preventative is MUCH better then having to be reactive because something happened and no one did anything to stop it.

DavidFoureyes
DavidFoureyes topcommenter

Only terrorist impostor cops turn their lights on just to get through a shitty intersection.


Call it in. 

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

Seriously though, everybody should call in tips to 311 at least 5 times a day.  If they want paranoid terrorized citizens, we should give them what they want.  Cops sitting in a parking lot goofing with their cell phones?  Obviously imposters.  Call 311.  Chinese people taking pictures of the 3rd Avenue bridge?  Call 311.  People walking around in the Minneapolis Convention Center, looking lost?  Call 311.  Sort of a Cloward-Piven Strategy to make stupidity collapse itself.

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

When that gigantic Antonov cargo plane was out at the airport last week a whole bunch of local aviation hobbyists went out there to gawk and take photos.  That must have been a hoot.

Dean131
Dean131

That's not a fake Minneapolis cop. I've seen him on the downtown beat numerous times.

Unless...

Hello? Minneapolis 311? I think I saw a fake cop...

Roger Therese Jones
Roger Therese Jones

ha they just filmed the part at my work a few weeks ago. that guy at the lock is the lock master.

Alan Blakely
Alan Blakely

I like how they break it down into 8 easy steps. My T game is gonna be tight now

Nichole Kmett
Nichole Kmett

Upon first glance I thought the guy on the left was (the late) MCA/Adam Yauch and the guy on the right was Anderson Cooper, lol.

Relux Emespe
Relux Emespe

Just an FYI for anyone downtown, I just contacted 311 regarding a suspicious man taking photos in the skyway.

Alirox
Alirox

Amelia Santaniello is now officially a Security State Whore.

eyetod
eyetod

that one terrorist was pretty hot. planting bombs and stuff.. unf..

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