Photo: marnanel

ESPN finds a lack of happy meals

​Take a look at that that soggy half-time hamburger wrapped in foil, sitting under a heat lamp, that you're going to count as your evening meal. Forget the calorie count; is the sorry-ass looking thing even safe? ESPN is out with a nationwide survey of health inspection issues at the pro sports stadiums that offers you a gut check.

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​It looks like state lawmakers are gearing up for a hearing today on what kind of policy solutions might best be used to help reduce obesity in Minnesota, especially through public schools.

And that got us thinking: How fat are we? According to statistics culled from the Centers for Disease Control by the Trust for America's Health, Minnesota ranks 31st in the nation when it comes to obese and overweight adults: 25.3 percent of us are too fat -- the highest rate among all our neighboring states.

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Photo: texas mustang/Flickr

​Regular readers know we like to take a poke at all the drunks, criminals and boobs who regularly make headlines in our neighboring state of Wisconsin. Not in this post, though. No, here we want to take a moment to note the passing of a genuine cultural icon with bona fide Wisconsin roots.

Donald Goerke, the man who brought SpaghettiOs into the kitchen of every self-respecting American parent who never knew Italian food from a wet sock but wanted their kids to eat dinner, has died. He was 86 years old. And although he lived out a big portion of life elsewhere, he was born in Waukesha.

An employee of Campbell's for 35 years, Goerke worked in the marketing division of its Franco American brand in the 1960s when an "a ha!" moment led him to utter the unforgettable phrase, "Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs."

So here's to you, Donald. We chose the "Os."

Image via YouTube

​Stephanie Smith, a children's dance instructor from Cold Spring who was horribly sickened in 2007 after eating a hamburger tainted by E.coli bacteria,  is filing a $100 million lawsuit today against mega Minnesota-based Cargill in U.S. District Court. Smith became so ill after eating the meat, which was traced to a Cargill plant, that her kidneys failed and she suffered seizures. Doctors kept her in a medically induced coma for months while they treated her, and she remains in a wheelchair.

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Photo courtesy of foxypar4 on Flickr

​ As if eating cow tongue wasn't gross enough already, now some Cargill cow tongues may have been infected by tonsils.

The meat -- 5,522 pounds of beef tongue -- comes from a Cargill plant in Milwaulkee, according to Food Safety News. Apparently the nasty tongues went to distribution centers in Illinois. No word yet on where they went after that, but at least they are considered a fairly low health risk, according to the food news service.

It's been a bad recent run of publicity for Cargill. Earlier this month, the New York Times chronicled the plight of a Cold Spring woman who became paralyzed after eating a Cargill hamburger. The sad story is enough to make you want to give up ground beef.

Photo by The Pizza Review

​We're surprised police even respond to these calls, but at least it makes for good conversation around the dinner table at home. On Monday evening, police were called to the 1300 block of Desoto Street about a "suspicious piece of pizza."

The 43-year-old man demanded that police write out a police report about the slice of pizza, claiming it was left near a fence with the intent to harass. Police described the pizza slice to the Pioneer Press: "The man had found a piece of pizza that was three-quarters eaten, with bite marks in it." It was a cheese and pepperoni pizza with traditional hand-tossed crust, in case you were wondering.

No other potentially harassing slices of partially eaten pizza slices were found at the scene. We can all sleep in peace tonight.

Photos: (home page) holzworthlynn / Flickr; (above) atreyuthechild / Flickr

Hunger is on the rise in Minnesota, and visits to food shelves in the first three months of 2009 were up 28% over last year, according to a new report from Hunger Solutions Minnesota. During the darkest days of the recession, food agencies doled out aid a record 614,344 times in the first quarter, says the agency, whose membership includes the six Second Harvest food banks in Minnesota and more than 300 food-shelf organizations statewide. Hunger Solutions blames the increase on the recession, increased food prices, and unemployment that has shot above 8% in Minnesota.

Photo by TobiasAC

When bars shut their doors for the night in Uptown, drunken bar patrons and their servers are likely to be found slipping through the doors of the Uptown Diner on Hennepin Avenue. The buzzing and often dizzying atmosphere that is Uptown Diner after bar close usually stays within the restaurant's dining room, brightly lit like a zoo exhibit for passersby.

But lately the only late-night eatery in the area has come under criticism from pissed off neighbors who are fed up with the noise at all hours of the night. The City Council received at least five letters of complaint about the excessive noise, which led the city to start looking into the establishment.

And what they found forced Uptown Diner to close down early on the weekends due to a lack of license required to stay open past 11 p.m. The licensing slipped past the diner and city officials back when the restaurant opened there seven years ago. Now the owners are fighting to get back what makes them a popular destination in town: Breakfast all night long.

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Photo by DRB62

Last month, the Food and Drug Administration went after General Mills, accusing them of marketing Cheerios as a drug. Well the story sounds almost like an Onion story on its own, but it's for real. Let's keep the joke alive.

The latest is from Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report last night. Check it out:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Cheating Death - Cheerios, Soda Paralysis & Oprah's Crazy Talk
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Keyboard Cat

Photo by madmarv00

If you vacation in Hawaii for something a little more exotic than Minnesota, you might be mildly disappointed if you're stuck stuffing your face with barftastic meat-in-a-can Spam. We're really not joking.

The Hawaii island of Waikiki has their 7th annual Spam Jam Festival this weekend to celebrate their total obsession with the canned good we hate to admit is created in our own home state (OK, Austin is pretty proud). Maybe you'll think twice about your trip to Hawaii in the spring time. You might be better off frying up that juicy goodness in your own kitchen.More >>