Joe Mauer reportedly won't be traded to Red Sox, so calm down, everyone

Categories: Joe Mauer, Twins
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Love him or hate him, Mauer will almost certainly remain a Twin for now.
SEE ALSO:
-- Joe Mauer has the second-worst contract in baseball, says Yahoo!
-- Rock bottom? Derek Lowe shuts out Twins, admits he basically threw one pitch all game
-- Twins payroll: Why in Gardy's name is it being slashed?


Last night, news broke that (gasp!) the Twins had placed hometown hero Joe Mauer on trade waivers.

Despite the fact that placing highly valued and expensive players on trade waivers in August is something almost every terrible team does, Twins fans quickly began hyperventilating. Some vowed to boycott Minnesota's most pathetic professional sports team if Mauer and the $142.5 million left on his deal were shipped out. The deep-pocketed Boston Red Sox -- days removed from huge a salary dump involving Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Josh Beckett -- were widely assumed to be the Twins' most likely trade partner.


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Joe Mauer out for the season with pneumonia

Categories: Joe Mauer
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Joe Mauer is out for the year with pneumonia.
Joe Mauer's bad luck continues. Mauer is out for the rest of the season with pneumonia, bringing an early end to his worst season with the Twins.

The team's on its way to its worst record in more than a decade, so Mauer's sitting out the last 23 games is merciful, in a way.

But the pneumonia adds to a string of bizarre, troubling injuries for Mauer, the local boy made instant legend who just topped the Business Journal's list of highest-paid athletes in the Twin Cities -- and also came in at No. 1 on another list of the most overpaid.

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Joe Mauer reminds Twins he's not their savior

Categories: Joe Mauer

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YouTube
Mauer caught for three innings in Fort Myers.
With the Twins officially in the toilet, we've been itchy for catcher Joe Mauer to get back behind home plate after what seems like several centuries on the DL. And yesterday in Florida he finally strapped on his gear for three innings.

But don't look at him like he's a savior, he says. It's a long road back.

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Weak-kneed Joe Mauer has to "go play somewhere for a while"

Categories: Joe Mauer, Twins
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Gardy has "no timetable" for Mauer's return.
The Minnesota Twins' $184 million catcher with the bum knee wasn't really ready to return to big league play this season after all, his trainer says.

So Joe Mauer's not coming off the disabled list, he's staying in rehab, and then he's going to have to "go play somewhere for a while."

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Joe Mauer mocks Troy Polamalu's luxurious locks: Video of the day

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Careful who you tease about their hair, Joe.
Honestly, we were a little worried for Joe Mauer when we heard he was shooting a TV commercial for Head & Shoulders. Was the pride of St. Paul going to finally go Hollywood, and maybe mount a trusty steed like the Old Spice guy, and gallop through the breaking surf while running his fingers through his manly coif?

We are fretting no more.

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Joe Mauer shoots Head & Shoulders shampoo spot (Video Of The Day)

Categories: Joe Mauer, Twins

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Can you get dandruff on your sideburns?
Maybe it's a sign of his polished professionalism that Twins catcher Joe Mauer doesn't just bust a gut when he utters inane statements like, "being a catcher, my hair takes a beating."

Or maybe it's just a matter of respect for the whopping payday coming his way: Mauer has inked a deal with Head & Shoulders to shill its dandruff shampoo.

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