"If English was good enough for Jesus when he wrote the Bible" wasn't said by Bachmann

Did you hear the latest ridiculous Michele Bachmann quote about that multilingual Coke ad?

"If English was good enough for Jesus when he wrote the Bible, it should be good enough for Coke," Michele Bachmann is quoted as saying on Fox News in a viral image circulating Facebook.

Just one problem: She didn't say it, and a version of this fake quote has been circulating since 2011.

FOR REAL MICHELE BACHMANN QUOTES: www.shitbachmannsays.com

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Michele Bachmann's Stephen Hawking quotes are fake, people

The absurd Michele Bachmann quotes about Stephen Hawking you may have seen circulating around the internet are fake, her spokesman confirmed to us last night.

RELATED: The Onion's "Bachmann Thankful No Americans Died In Sikh Shooting" story dupes dozens

No, Bachmann didn't really say Hawking's revised theory of black holes and his admission that a previous one is his "biggest blunder" underscores "the danger inherent in listening to scientists," as Andy Borowitz of the New Yorker wrote in a piece published on his blog yesterday.

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Michele Bachmann's latest family photo spoofs her favorite TV show

It's "Bachmann Abbey."
Say what you will about the Bachmanns, but this much is clear -- they know how to do a family photo right.

SEE ALSO: Michele Bachmann says she's heard from people who confused her for Miley Cyrus

The Bachmanns' latest picture, visible at the top of this post, spoofs the TV show Michele says is her family's favorite, Downton Abbey, complete with Michele in the role of the Dowager Countess.

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Marcus Bachmann's Bachmann and Associates Clinic is no more

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These two put the Bachmann in the former Bachmann and Associates.
Bachmann and Associates, at least we'll have plenty to remember you by.

There was that sliver of time not so very long ago -- remember, when Michele Bachmann was the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination? -- that Marcus Bachmann's counseling clinic was in the national spotlight.

But at some point in the past several months, Marcus Bachmann rebranded his practice as Counseling Care, and Bachmann and Associates ceased to be.

See Also:
- Michele says that despite Marcus's "significant health issues," Bachmanns don't have insurance
- Marcus Bachmann: The City Pages Interview

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Michele Bachmann planning to sue Obama over Obamacare fix

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Last month, she called for his impeachment, now she wants to sue. What's next, imprisonment?
Last week, President Obama announced an administrative fix to the Affordable Care Act that could help some of the 4 million people who stand to lose their health insurance as a result of the president's signature law stay covered for at least another year.

RELATED: Michele says that despite Marcus's "significant health issues," Bachmanns don't have insurance

The broader debate about Obamacare aside, Obama's announcement doesn't seem like it should be especially controversial, right? Yet during remarks made at a monthly conservative event sponsored by the Heritage Foundation, Bachmann characterized the move as "the essence of lawlessness" and said she and other Republicans are planning to sue the president over it.

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Michele says that despite Marcus's "significant health issues," Bachmanns don't have insurance

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Of course, it's Obama's fault.
In September, President Obama mocked Michele Bachmann's worry that the Affordable Care Act "literally kills women, kills children, [and] kills senior citizens." But if Bachmann can be believed, the law, combined with her stubbornness about using the balky HealthCare.gov website, might endanger the health of her colorful husband, Marcus.

SEE ALSO: Rick Nolan calls on Obama to "man up" and fire somebody over Obamacare website debacle

During an appearance on Wolf Blitzer's CNN show yesterday, Michele said Obamacare resulted in the couple losing their health insurance. She added that they're still living without coverage even though Marcus has "significant health issues."

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Michele Bachmann: "God, I'm a loser"

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Bachmann lost confidence and beat herself up as her presidential campaign crumbled, a new book reports.
As we told you about earlier today, a new book by journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann -- Double Down: Game Change 2012 -- contains some discussion of Michele Bachmann's meteoric rise and fall during her presidential campaign.

SEE ALSO: Michele Bachmann is so full of baloney, the Associated Press gave up on fact-checking her

One discussion point is Bachmann's bizarre, irrational fear of Texas Gov. Rick Perry. Another is how she handled her humbling sixth-place finish in the Iowa caucus -- a disappointing result that prompted her to end her campaign the next day.

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Michele Bachmann is irrationally terrified by Rick Perry, new book says

Perry's mere presence has the power to strike fear into Michele's heart, if a new book can be believed.
A new book by journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann -- Double Down: Game Change 2012 -- is making headlines for its revelation that Barack Obama considered dumping Joe Biden for Hillary Clinton before his reelection campaign.

SEE ALSO: Michele Bachmann says she's heard from people who confused her for Miley Cyrus

But the book contains another interesting nugget about a very bizarre interaction between Michele Bachmann and Texas Gov. Rick Perry when the two were running for president. (It's hard to believe that was just two years ago, isn't it?)

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Michele Bachmann on debt deal: "Republicans were the adults in the room"

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You can say this much about ol' Michele -- she's never been one to concede defeat.
Michele Bachmann was excited about the prospect of a government shutdown before it happened and happy as a clam in the midst of it. Her goal, of course, was to use the impasse (and possible federal debt default) as leverage to gut the Affordable Care Act, a law that was approved by Congress, signed into law by the president, and upheld by the Supreme Court.

But Obama refused to cave. Last night, the right flank of the Republican Party's congressional contingent finally lost the blinking contest, and Congress approved legislation ending the shutdown and raising the debt limit.

SEE ALSO: Obama mocks Michele Bachmann's worry that Obamacare "literally kills women"

"Goose egg, nothing, we got nothing," Republican Rep. Thomas Massie of Kentucky told the New York Times. Doesn't exactly sound like a result any Republican would crow over, does it? Unless, of course, your name is Michele Bachmann.

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Michele Bachmann wants House to hold hearings about impeaching President Obama

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For President Clinton, impeachment was about a sex scandal. For Obama, it could be about trying to reform America's health care system.
Welp, we suppose this shouldn't come as a surprise, but during the same tea party conference call where Michele Bachmann said she's never twerked, she also said she wants the House to hold impeachment hearings about President Obama.

SEE ALSO: Michele Bachmann is worried about Somali terrorists attacking the Mall of America [AUDIO]

"We can have an impeachment hearing in the House, and in my mind the President has committed impeachable offenses," Bachmann said, to which the host of the tea party call responded, "I agree."

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