Someone filled the Princeton girls soccer team's balls with urine.

SEE ALSO:
-- Vikings 'original Whizzinator' heading to Minn. bar memorabilia wall
-- Sheriff Phil Hodapp hunting for "felonious fecal flinger," adult diaper dumper
-- 81-year-old marathon runner uses stranger's catheter to finish race

The Princeton High School girls soccer team had a very rude awakening when they arrived at their locker room for a Saturday morning match last weekend.

They discovered that their gear had been soaked in urine. And whoever perpetrated the beyond-nasty prank must've drank a ton of fluid before letting it flow -- the team's soccer balls were filled with pee.


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KSAX

Beltrami County's poop highway

​Beltrami County Sheriff Phil Hodapp is on a hunt for the "felonious fecal flinger," an adult diaper dumper who's been leaving a special brand of litter along County Road 22 for the past four years.

The rogue dumper has cost Beltrami County over $1,000 with these "dirty deliveries," KSAX reports, and has left waste on several different county roads and highways.

Besides calling the unknown dumper a "felonious fecal flinger," Sheriff Hodapp has referred to the criminal as a "diabolical ditch dumping adult diaper throwing person."

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Meddy Garnet, Flickr.

This won't make the clean-up process any easier.

Twenty-four Southern Minnesota towns hit hard by flood waters are diverting their bodily waste into the rivers that temporarily closed their sewage treatment plants.

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Photo by worak

​If you're an adult who still enjoys a cool wet wipe after using the bathroom, you could be in for one heck of a nasty butt rash. So says the Mayo Clinic in Rochester in a new report about toilet paper wipes that use a chemical preservative called methylchloroisothiazolinone or MCI. 
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Image courtesy of eyeliam on Flickr

​ A Minnesota woman spent $80K to adopt three babies from Guatemala -- but the girls never came.

Suann Hibbs, a flight attendant with Northwest Airlines, fell in love with three little girls from Guatemala and wanted to adopt them. But unethical behavior by a local adoption agency -- A Family Journey -- swindled her out of nearly $80K. Hillstrom's Edina home is still packed with toys and clothes for the girls. The girls are believed to be living in Guatemala with their grandmother.

The story is told in the Strib's Sunday special and is well worth the read. It's one of the Strib's special pieces -- in the Sunday paper only -- so pick up a copy from yesterday and settle in.

Photo by jeremiah3

​ It's one thing just to see an 81-year-old man running a marathon like it's no big deal. Makes us feel a little... lazy? But get this: This man was so determined to finish the Twin Cities Marathon Sunday that he used a stranger's catheter to do it. That's just nasty.

Jerry Johncock (we'll refrain from the jokes) set the U.S. marathon record last year for men in the 80-84 bracket. And this year he was determined to finish again. Even when he had an extreme urge to pee at mile 21, but it wouldn't come out. With 5.2 miles left to go, he wasn't going to give up that easy.

Johncock has had this problem before during long races and stopped at an aid station to see if they had a catheter he could use. He said he just had a little bit of clotted blood in his urethra. When the medical aids insisted he drop out of the race and get to a hospital, he refused. He's never dropped out of a race since starting to run at age 50 and competing in more than 100 marathons.

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Photo by Hryck

​ There's something to be said for winning over the hearts and minds of a police officer when you are in a sticky situation. Anyone who can make a cop feel a little sympathy can usually get off a little easier than if they were a pain in the ass. Unfortunately this man decided kicking his own shit at officers would be a better method of success.

Police responded to a party at the home of Dennis Fike, 64, Friday night.

"Sometime during that contact, Mr. Fike pulled his pants down, defecated on the floor, made a comment to the officers and, at which point, attempted to kick fecal matter at the officers who were present," Sgt. Ross Renner told the Fargo Forum.

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Photo via eideard

​ There's really nothing better than a football star getting busted with the pieces needed to beat a drug test using a strap-on penis with fake heated urine. We're talking about ex-Minnesota Viking Onterrio Smith who was busted at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in 2005 with vials of fake dry urine to pass his drug tests. He said it was used in his "original Whizzinator".

So how do you make a name for your suburban bar in the Twin Cities? Win that very Whizzanator in an auction and display it in your bar for all to see. Nothing better than a fake penis contraption that looks more like a freaky sex toy than a device to hide your substance abuse.

Buster's Sports Bar & Grill in Mankato won the auction Friday and took home the Whizzinator for $750.

We're probably more likely to unexpectedly vomit than to actually purchase more booze if we happened to cross in front of it. If they let us try it on, that would be another story. We've always wanted to try living with a penis for a day. A fake one that pees would get us one step closer.More »

​ The 47 passengers who were forced to spend nine hours on a grounded Continental Airlines flight Friday got a (sort of) apology from Continental today and their money back for their flight to hell. Oh, and they can possibly endure the same thing over again by taking a free flight with Continental in the future. How thoughtful.

The passengers were stuck with no food, overflowing toilets. and screaming babies. What more could you ask for?

It's kind of like those "survivor" contests every year at the State Fair and Mall of America. Stay in a Volkswagen Bug longer than everyone else and you win the vehicle. Stay on a Mall of American roller coaster the longest and you win a lifetime pass to Nickelodeon Universe. Yes, after spending an inordinate amount of time in a terribly uncomfortable environment, we seriously can't wait to spend even more time in it on our own time.

We love reliving nightmares, don't you?

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Photo by Stephan Segraves

​A Continental flight from Houston was bound for the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport Friday night before the passengers experienced a night of hell. The plane was rerouted to the Rochester airport due to bad weather and the 47 passengers were forced to stay on the place for nine hours with no food, one free beverage and overflowing toilets.

ExpressJet Airlines operated the plane and said there were several airline regulations that forced the passengers to suffer through a night of toilet stench, crying babies, and no food.

We'd just call it torture.
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