Photo by alvi2047

​The Minnesota Department of Health said Wednesday that five more deaths in the state have been attributed to the H1N1 swine flu virus, bringing the total number to 26.

Since September, 1,439 people have been hospitalized with confirmed cases of the virus.

The upside of this sad news is that, while the infection rate remains elevated, it appears to have tapered in recent weeks.

For example, nine schools reported outbreaks in the past week, compared with 40 schools the week before.

Here's the data:
More >>

Photo by Haukeland

​The Minnesota Department of Health has confirmed seven flu-related deaths so far this year in Minnesota, six of them from H1N1. That brings the total number of H1N1 deaths to 21 since April.

"Health officials noted that these are deaths for which the department completed its investigation this week and that MDH continues to investigate possible H1N1-related deaths on an ongoing basis," the agency said in a statement. "Six of the deaths were confirmed as 2009 H1N1 influenza related; one of the deaths occurred in an individual for which a specimen was not available but was most likely H1N1."

Those who died ranged in age from someone in their 30s to someone in their 80s, MDH said. The deaths occurred between Oct. 25 and Nov. 4.

Photo by alvi2047

​We're still trying to figure out what this man thought he was going to do with 900 doses of swine flu vaccine. Not exactly a thrill drug these days, but you're sure going to piss off a lot of people patiently waiting for their turn to get vaccinated. Or maybe he just needed a lift.

A man in Milwaukee is accused of stealing an idling truck containing 900 swine flu vaccines.

The 38-year-old man already has a criminal record and there were two other men believed to be in the vehicle with him. They are accused of taking the truck as it idled outside a swine flu clinic.

Police found the truck less than an hour after it was stolen and the vaccine was intact. But since the doses are considered "compromised" when it was out of city possession, it must be destroyed.

​ If your kid is sneezing, coughing and generally sick, keep him away from Santa. Just think of all of the children who won't get presents Christmas morn if Santa is stuck in the Emergency Room with an epic fever. Maybe then you'll feel a little guilty, right?

Santas around the country are preparing for the horror of the holiday season: plenty of children cuddling up close to them, crying, spitting and puking while they mutter out all the presents they want. Give Santa a break.

Joe Morin (Santa) lives in Cambridge, Minn., but travels out to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to be a natural beard Santa at Bass Pro Shops. He says more than 10,000 kids will sit on his lap this season. That's a lot of H1N1 up in your beard. More >>

Graphic via Gizmodo

​Michael Jackson almost melted the Internet when he died this summer and now H1N1 could make a second attempt to destroy this beast for good. We applaud the swine flu's power to take down the only mode of daily functioning we know.

Experts say the Web could blow up if H1N1 becomes so widespread that too many people are home sick and logging online. The amount of home traffic could overwhelm local networks and cause pure chaos.

Just what we need. A bunch of sick people enraged because they can't stream Netflix movies from bed.

More >>

Brock Lesnar eats daily newspapers for breakfast.

​The Star Tribune is not only out of bankruptcy, but picking a fight with one of the toughest men on the planet.

In a post on his blog today, Michael Rand questions how Lesnar could be too sick to fight if he was well enough to show up at the recent Vikings game and even blow the horn before the start of the game.

In so many words, Rand is questioning whether the UFC heavyweight champion is faking sick.

Far be it from us to criticize a man who could crush us like a grape -- and one we enjoyed covering while he was a University of Minnesota wrestler -- but some folks are noting the strange timing of Brock Lesnar backing out of a UFC title bout because of illness while still keeping a public commitment with the Minnesota Vikings at their game against the Ravens on Oct. 18.

More >>

Photo by jennrivo

​ As if H1N1 couldn't make our lives any worse, now kids can't even shake hands with opponents after a game. What has the world come to? Now children in youth hockey leagues will be forced to "shake hands" with their gloves on, which is more like a fist bump. Totally not worth it.

USA Hockey has issued a couple of recommendations for youth hockey teams to help prevent the spread of swine flu among kids. The handshake is probably a bad idea, they say, but now all of the kids have "bad sportsmanship," when they leave their gloves on. No one can win.

Here are some of their recommendations:

• Don't let kids share water bottles. No one wants hockey backwash anyway.
• Wash hands a lot and clean equipment each time they go on the ice. They will still smell terrible.
• Keep those gloves on. H1N1 makes it cool again to be a bad sport in the handshake.

Photo by tsuacctnt

​ It's official: A Minnesota State Fair pig caught swine flu, says U.S. Department of Agriculture. This is the first confirmed case of a pig getting H1N1 in the United States.

But don't worry, folks. Your bacon is totally safe. Officials claim you can't get swine flu from eating pork. We're just a little grossed out imagining our bacon as a living pig that is now sniffling and coughing as it goes to the slaughterhouse.

More >>

Photo by tsuacctnt

​ Remember when we poked fun at all the horny kids spreading H1N1 like candy at the Minnesota State Fair? It looks like the state fair pigs were getting in on the sickness too.

That's right. Pigs from the state fair might have tested positive for H1N1 in a preliminary test, says the USDA. If these results are correct, it would be the first time during this human pandemic that it spread to animals.

Something always has to come along and ruin the state fair. What a bummer.

More >>

Photo by bratha

​ KSTP does another one of the classic scary tales of hand sanitizer almost killing a child. How a child manages to swallow enough of that stuff to get legally drunk is beyond us, but apparently it's happening. Oh, and it's not just kids who get fooled. A 77-year-old with dementia drank almost a whole bottle of it before realizing it was hand sanitizer. Disgusting.

So KSTP laws down the facts: Handing your kid a container of hand sanitizer is like giving them a bottle of vodka. Drunk kids aren't fun kids.

Despite the fear mongering, there are actually some serious cases of poisoning. So make sure to call poison control ASAP if you think you, your child, or someone you know may have chugged a little too much germ killer. Phone number is 1-800-222-1222.

Check out the KSTP video below.

More >>