Drunk Driving Suspect Kong Vue Had An Interesting Version of the Alphabet for Police

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La Crosse Police
"A, B, C ... I'll guna kill all yall"

A police officer responding to a car crash in downtown La Crosse early Sunday morning found Kong Vue blocking a busy roadway in a smashed up car with its lights off.

Under those circumstances the officer began giving Vue field sobriety tests, which he failed in spectacular fashion.

See also:
Santa Arrested for Drunk Driving in Wisconsin

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Dear Wisconsin: Minnesota Wants a Divorce

Everyone thought we made such a cute couple, Wisconsin -- until you decided to go all Mississippi on our love
Dear Wisconsin:

I remember when we met at that barn dance 150 years ago. The other states were so stuck up. New York was all "Look at me!" And California was all "I like your shoes. Not." Texas got drunk on wine coolers and did what Texas always does: try to pick a fight with the smallest guy in the room.

But not you, Wisconsin.


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SCOTUS Ushers In Marriage Equality in Wisconsin

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Marriage equality became the law of the Land of 10,000 Lakes last year as a result of a bill passed by the DFL-controlled legislature and signed into law by Gov. Mark Dayton.

In the Land of Cheese and Beer, on the other hand, it came from the U.S. Supreme Court's chambers in Washington, D.C., where earlier this week justices decided not to consider any of a number of cases challenging lower court decisions that struck down bans on same-sex marriage in individual states, including Wisconsin.

See also:
Kyle Wood, gay Wisconsin GOPer who said he was hate crime victim, made the whole thing up


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Racist, Homophobic Posts Force Wisconsin Republican Jacob Dorsey Out of Race

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Jacob Dorsey screencap via Digital Journal
Think Minnesota Republicans have a hard time with social media? Consider the case of young Wisconsin GOPer Jacob Dorsey.

Dorsey, 19, took a semester off from his studies at Brigham Young University-Idaho to run for a Janesville seat in the state assembly, which is the Wisconsin equivalent to the Minnesota House. But he's headed back to school after screencaps of racist and homophobic online posts he wrote surfaced.

See also:
Winona County Republicans share post comparing Hillary to satan


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Green Bay wrestling fan trolls Minnesota with LOL-worthy sign at WWE Raw

Categories: Weird Wisconsin
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Revenge for all our Weird Wisconsin coverage?
A fan at last night's WWE Monday Night Raw in Green Bay wanted an international television audience to know that we're the worst, my fellow Minnesotans.

SEE ALSO: Minnesota Twins squabbling with WWE divas over "Bella Twins" trademark

We realize we should probably be offended, but mostly we find it to be hilarious.

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Wisconsin to get tougher on marijuana laws

Categories: Weird Wisconsin
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Coleen Danger
Wisconsin legislators approved a bill Tuesday that gives local municipalities more power to punish marijuana use.

As it stands, municipal courts in Wisconsin have the right to prosecute first-time offenders who are found in possession of less than 25 grams. Anyone arrested more than once goes to the circuit court level.

But with Gov. Scott Walker's signature, those same courts would have the right to punish repeat offenders, so long as the district attorney in that area declines to prosecute.

In other words, Wisconsin is becoming tougher on pot while Minnesota -- and the rest of the country -- appears to be chilling out.

SEE ALSO: Barack Obama disagrees with Sheriff Stanek about the dangers of pot

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Madison hospitals kill birth announcements, cite fear of baby abductions

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Upsilon Andromedae
The first of many Weird Wisconsin posts for 2014 comes courtesy of the Wisconsin State Journal, which announced yesterday the death of a traditional keepsake for parents.

Two hospitals in Madison told the paper that they would no longer provide birth announcements, citing a growing concern over infant abductions. (There's also a little something called lawsuits.)

SEE ALSO: Two more incidents in Minneapolis add to recent child abduction scares

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Wisconsin using cheese to de-ice roads. Really.

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cheesemitten.com
The only thing that could make this story more quintessentially Wisconsin is if beer was somehow involved.
Earlier this week, the New York Times ran a piece about a number of municipal and county governments in Wisconsin using cheese -- yes, cheese -- to de-ice frozen roadways.

SEE ALSO: 350-pound Wisconsin man picketing restaurant after he's cut off during all-you-can-eat fish fry

According to the report, officials in America's largest cheese-producing state have taken to mixing cheese brine -- typically of the provolone or mozzarella variety -- with traditional rock salt to create a cheaper, more durable road de-icer.

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Scott Walker is down with pedal pubs

Categories: Weird Wisconsin
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Coming soon to Wisconsin.
Given Wisconsin's well-earned reputation for drinking, you would've thought the state had pedal pubs long ago, right?

SEE ALSO: Pedal Pub crash: Top 10 jokes

Wrong. The booze-powered bars on wheels we love to hate were decriminalized in the Land of Cheese just last Friday when Gov. Scott Walker signed a bill legalizing them.

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Wisconsin's pay-for-snuggle business is already closed

Categories: Weird Wisconsin
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Facebook
These professional snugglers are out of jobs.
RIP, Snuggle House. We hardly knew ye.

THE BACKSTORY: Pay-for-snuggle business to open in Wisconsin, swears it's all platonic

Just weeks after it opened, Madison's pay-for-snuggle business is already closed. The Snuggle House's Facebook page indicates it finally succumbed to pressure from city officials, who from the beginning expressed concern that professional "cuddling" was just a front for a brothel of some sort.

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