April 2004 Archives - Corey Anderson

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SF Weekly
Identity Plagiarism
A blogger steals someone else's life story and calls it her own.
By Ashley Harrell
Westword
Fuel's Gold
How William Orr's quest for better, cheaper gas became a crime.
By Alan Prendergast
Miami New Times
Mold Over Miami
The family of a dead judge blames a creeping fungus in the federal courthouse.
By Tim Elfrink
The Pitch
McCain Girl
I worked at Kmart with John McCain's director of strategy.
By Alan Scherstuhl

April 2004

« March 2004 | Main | May 2004 »

Bush reveals little of 9/11 testimony given, distracts press corps with robot dance

Filed under: American Idle

(AP) - President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney spent more than three hours behind closed doors Thursday with the Sept. 11 commission charged with finding ways to prevent a repeat of the worst terrorist attack in American history. "I answered every question they asked," Bush said. Bush declined to disclose details of the Oval Office discussion, instead, the president mesmerized the press corps by performing the 1980s dance commonly referred to as "The Robot," slowly shuffling his way back into the White House before anyone realized what was happening.

Posted by Corey Anderson at April 29, 2004 4:20 PM

Blow out the candles on your yellowcake!

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at April 28, 2004 11:45 AM

Jesse/James

Filed under: American Idle

When former governor Jesse "The Hah-vahd Professa" Ventura hinted at a presidential run in 2008, observers responded more to his Ivy League facial-hair makeover than to his Quixotic declaration. But we at American Idle noticed a bit of method to his follicle madness. Another scruffy Midwestern professor by the name of James A. Garfield brought a little prestige back to the office of the presidency after Reconstruction. Hopefully, Jesse wouldn't meet Garfield's fate, shot by an embittered attorney who had been jockeying for a consular post.

Posted by Corey Anderson at April 27, 2004 4:49 PM

Jesus/Jones

Filed under: American Idle

This spring, actor Jim Caviezel will move from playing Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ" to one of the greatest golfers of all time in "Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius," opening April 29. Many might feel this is a huge leap for the talented actor, yet one can find quite a few similarities between the two men.

The Two Faces of Jim:

JESUS CHRIST	BOBBY JONES
Spent a great portion of his life walking	Also spent a great portion of his life walking
Had many followers as he walked	ditto
Knew St. Andrew	Played St. Andrew's
Walked on water	On the 9th hole of the second round at the 1930 US Open, Jones' shot skipped across a pond on the par five
Nicknamed "The King of the Jews"	Nicknamed "The Emperor Jones"
Born on a holiday (Christmas)	Born on a holiday (St. Patrick's Day)
Rapid fame at an early age led to public expectations that would prove more a burden than a blessing	ditto
His closest female companion was named Mary	His closest female companion was named Mary
He made a scourge of cords, and drove the moneychangers all out of the temple; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables	Legendary sportswriter Grantland Rice once said Jones had the "face of an angel and the temper of a timber wolf."
Descended into Hell	In the 1921 British Open, on the par three, 11th hole, Jones hit his ball into Hell Bunker
Died early at 33	Retired early at 28