May 2004

W to star in one-man Paul Lynde show on Broadway

Filed under: American Idle

Don't look to GWB to rest on his laurels if things don't go his way in November! Rumor has it he's in talks with Nathan Lane's theater company to star in a one-man show about flamboyant funnyman Paul Lynde (inset), tentatively titled "Center Square," reliving Lynde's varied career which culminated in being the center square on America's favorite Seventies game show "Hollywood Squares." Bush, seen here in rehearsal in a pantry in the White House basement, is said to have nailed Lynde's trademark snicker, but still needs help with timing and large words.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 27, 2004 10:33 AM

You get the ankles and I'll get the wrists

Filed under: American Idle

President George W. Bush (C) is presented his ceremonial Doctorate at the University of Louisiana Commencement ceremonies by university officials in Baton Rouge, Louisiana (AFP/Paul Richards).

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 21, 2004 3:21 PM

City Pages lawn bowling team begins season with a win!

Filed under: American Idle

The City Pages lawn bowling team defeated the DoughBoys 18-9 at Brit's Pub last night. Here's the update from the Skipper:

Despite not yet having a team placard in place on the Brit's garden wall, the new City Pages lawn bowl team had no trouble getting past�its identity complex and smoked an unprepared DoughBoys squad 18-9.

Apparently beer isn't just for breakfast anymore... its also for the sidewalk. It was a wacky night out on the lawn with multiple beer spills splashing about our feet on both ends--both by the wait-staff and by our opponents.��Might it be possible to�catch a buzz by absorbing beer from your shoes???� Hmmm...

Next week- we play our�brother team--Urban Bowling Crew--in what will be fun and competitive evening!� The Wager:� Losing team buys a round for the winner.

Next week we play at 6:30pm Monday night, Brit's Pub.

Cheers,
Skipper

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 18, 2004 8:57 AM

"Jailhouse Iraq"
by Toby Keith

Filed under: American Idle

The U.S. threw a party at the Abu jail
Army soldiers were there and they began to wail
The electrodes were pumpin' and the jail began to creak
You should've heard those naked jailbirds shriek

In Iraq, Abu Ghraib, in Iraq
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was Rummied in the Jailhouse Iraq

Pvt. England was pointin' at their naked nads
Having a good laugh at the peanuts that they had
Spc. Sivits was shootin' pictures of it all
Gonna put 'em up on the Washington Mall

In Iraq, Abu Ghraib, in Iraq
Everybody in the whole cell block
Shock 'n' Awed in the Jailhouse Iraq

A sad sack was sittin' on a block of stone
Naked in the corner weepin' all alone
Dragged on a leash up and down the hall
Still smartin' from those jumper cables on his balls

In Iraq, Abu Ghraib, in Iraq
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was Red, Black, and Blued in the Jailhouse Iraq

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 10, 2004 5:56 PM

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