December 2004

The Official American Idle Best Albums of the Year 2004

Filed under: American Idle

1. The Hold Steady Almost Killed Me
Fronted by Lifter Puller alum Craig Finn, The Hold Steady are a New York band that made their recording debut in April with "Almost Killed Me." Finn's lyrics and vocals (along with Tab Kubler's guitar playing) make this the smartest and hard-drivingest rock record of the year. It's raucous and melancholy, it will put a smile on your face, a bruise on your heart, and will leave your clothes smelling like cheap beer and cigarettes. You gotta give it to a band that can write lyrics like "we got so high Michigan looked just like a mitten."

2. Richard Thompson 1,000 Years of Popular Music
This came out in 2003, but I discovered it around the time his tour came through the Twin Cities late summer. In 1999 Playboy magazine asked Thompson to compile his list of the best songs of the last 1,000 years. Although Playboy didn't run his list (dating back to 1068), it inspired Thompson to tackle his selections from artists such as ABBA, The Beatles, Gilbert & Sullivan, even Britney Spears, and record a 23-song live concert featuring Judith Owen on vocals and Michael Jerome on percussion.

3. The Darkness Permission to Land
I was too young in the Seventies to get into glam rock, and hair-metal bands like KISS and Black Sabbath. Growing up in rural Minnnesota, I was force-fed fluff like Elton John and Billy Joel from a Mankato radio station. I'm making up for it by playing The Darkness about every other day. Listening to Justin Hawkins' fluttering falsetto, you smile and categorize the Darkness as a novelty act, a la Hayseed Dixie. Then you find yourself playing the CD over and over again because it hits the pleasure centers of your brain like crack from a conveyor belt.

4. DJ BC The Beastles
DJ Danger Mouse got the press this year for mixing The Beatles' "White Album" and Jay-Z's "The Black Album" to create the aptly-titled "Grey Album," but I'll take DJ BC's blending of The Beatles and the Beastie Boys instead. The rhythms and lyrics seem to gel better, there's more of a sense of fun, and it's not weighted down by the hype and expectations the "Grey Album" generated.

5. Various Artists What Is Hip: Remix Project 1
Warner Bros. Records pulled some 70's (and one or two 80's) chestnuts out of the vault and handed them to some pretty talented DJs to remix. Those of you who secretly love "Midnight at the Oasis," "Dream Weaver," and "Rainy Night in Georgia" can come out of the closet and enjoy these groovy new beat-heavy remixes. Maria Muldaur - 2004 Artist of the Year?

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 29, 2004 1:08 PM

thompson

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 29, 2004 1:01 PM

The Political Apprentice featuring The Norm

Filed under: American Idle

Coming to C-SPAN this spring: Sen. Norm Coleman is the Political Apprentice! Watch him try to fire someone every week! Watch them not care! Watch them all shit bigger than Norm Coleman! Who will Norm try to fire this week who will have only vaguely heard of him? Find out on The Political Apprentice!

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 27, 2004 10:33 AM

I'll have a blue Christmas (please)

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 22, 2004 12:18 PM

Can I vote for the one in the middle?

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 21, 2004 7:04 AM

Talk to your doctor (and your lawyer) about taking Hartatax

Filed under: American Idle

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Pfizer Inc. said it has found an increased risk of heart attacks with patients taking its top-selling painkiller Celebrex, a drug that is in the same class as Vioxx, but has no plans to remove it from the market. Pfizer announced Friday that it found the increased risk in one of two long-term cancer prevention trials, while the other trial showed no increased risk. The National Cancer Institute, which was conducting the study for Pfizer, suspended the use of Celebrex after discovering that patients taking 400mg to 800mg of the drug daily had a 2.5 times greater risk of experiencing major heart problems than those who were not.

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 20, 2004 7:06 AM

Reeding, riting and arith... arythma... math

Filed under: American Idle

Next time, get a blue-stater to proofread your propaganda.

Thanks to DJ KPC for the link!

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 17, 2004 9:34 AM

Pimp my Humvee

Filed under: American Idle

Xzibit and the West Coast Customs Crew have their work cut out for them when they heed our soldiers' call and head over to Iraq to trick out and up-armor a fleet of Humvees in a very special episode of Pimp My Ride, Saturday, December 18, 7pm, only on MTV.

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 16, 2004 4:51 PM

My name is Luca...

Filed under: American Idle

If you thought President Bush's Captain Kirk impersonation was a riot, you should see Bush and former CIA Director George Tenet re-enact the scene from "The Godfather" where Luca Brasi meets his demise. Never one to do anything in a small way, the president forswore a simple piece of piano wire for a Presidential Medal of Freedom to choke his esteemed former colleague.

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 14, 2004 5:32 PM

The W with Tribbles

Filed under: American Idle

In what's become an annual tradition, the White House press corps placed all their fuzzy boom mikes together during the White House holiday press party so President Bush could perform his spot-on Capt. Kirk impression from the "Trouble with Tribbles" episode of "Star Trek." "He does this every year," Chief of Staff Andy Card said, "And it always fucking kills!"

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 9, 2004 2:12 PM

President Bush unveils new Officers Club wait staff attire

Filed under: American Idle

President Bush modeled a stylish new waistcoat on Tuesday that will be used by the enlisted personnel in Officers Clubs around the globe starting Summer 2005. While not bulletproof, the sturdy cotton fibers of WaistCoat-MX63 can withstand hundreds of washings, as well as the occasional spilled cocktail. The Pentagon fast-tracked the production of the waistcoats as a morale booster for the officers in Iraq and Afghanistan supervising troops using substandard equipment and armor-less vehicles.

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 8, 2004 3:59 PM

Mid-season (and post-election) replacement shows

Filed under: American Idle

The fundamentalist tribe has spoken, and Hollywood has listened! The networks are rolling out their mid-season replacement shows with a straight eye for the straight guys!

CBS
CSI: Tupelo
Tuesdays 10/9c
Old Doc Potter and his team of thinkers and medicine folk attempt to solve the killings and such thereabouts in Tupelo. Mississippi-born Gerald McRaney and country cutie Lisa Hartman Black star.

NBC
Jesus: The Early Years
Tuesdays 8/7c
Little is known about the teenage years of the Lord our Saviour, but thanks to executive producer Mel Gibson, those special stories are now releaved! This week's episode: a teenage boy from Samaria places his arm around Jesus, prompting our Lord to smite the lecherous sodomite by giving him leprosy and making his legs fall off. Topher Grace guest stars as the teenage Pontius Pilate.

Lifetime
Mom 24/7
Sundays 8/7c
Valerie Bertinelli has given up that fast-paced and sin-filled world of corpoarte America and has chosen to become a full-time parent to her three precious tots. Can she handle these rascals and still have time to get dinner on the table before her husband gets home? Find out this Sunday!

ABC
God's Love Boat
Saturdays 9/8c
Each week souls in crisis board God's Love Boat and cruise to exotic Caribbean locales in search of salvation and an occasionally round of shuffleboard. Ship's Captain/Episcopalian Minister Tony Danza is on hand to legally wed heterosexual couples, aroused by seeing people in swimsuits, who wish to have sanctioned sexual congress as soon as possible.

FOX
Who Wants to Fuck my Grandma?
Fridays 8/7c
$1,000,000 goes to one of 13 lucky young male contestants who can successfully bed 83-year-old, grandmother of six Milly Lindquist. Watch these muscle-bound hunks French-kiss her, grab her buttocks, and give her sponge baths in hopes of scoring that cool mil!

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 6, 2004 6:58 AM

Treasury Secretary trades the green for the Great White Way

Filed under: American Idle

Washington is a-buzz this morning with the rumor that U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow would be leaving the Bush Cabinet next month to star in Mel Brooks' latest Broadway offering, the musical version of his popular comedy "Young Frankenstein."

Posted by Corey Anderson at December 3, 2004 10:09 AM

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