March 2005

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That cracker cleans up good!

Filed under: American Idle

One's a time- and space-travelling Brit, the other a self-delusional homophobic hayseed now riding the reality show pine. But have you ever seen them in the same room?

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 30, 2005 9:50 AM

 

Robert Kasner, 1951-2005

Filed under: American Idle

photo: Staci Schwartz

The Village Voice's Jarrett Murphy has an obit for Bob Kasner, who was City Pages' circulation manager during the 1990s, before moving to the Voice and rising to the position of senior vice president and circulation director. I worked with Bob during my first stint at CP and am still in shock that he's gone. He was a kind and classy man, which made it all the more hilarious when, in a fit of pique, he'd launch his six iron into the bushes at Theo Wirth golf course, prompting us to halt play and spend twenty minutes in the tall grass looking for it. He was a first-class guy and I'll miss him. --CA

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 29, 2005 1:27 PM

 

President kicks ass at ring-toss over the weekend

Filed under: American Idle

Nothing like a quick trip to an Iowa county fair to keep those ring-tossing muscles in shape! Looks like someone was a winner!

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 28, 2005 6:49 PM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (3/25)

Filed under: American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. You'd Better Come Home - Petula Clark
2. Cindy of a Thousand Lives - Billy Bragg
3. Fashion - David Bowie
4. Road - Nick Drake
5. Summer in Siam - The Pogues
6. Wonderful Life - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
7. Brimful of Asha - Cornershop
8. One Step Ahead - Split Enz
9. C'mon - Junior Senior
10. Lilac Wine - Jeff Buckley

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 25, 2005 8:45 AM

 

Shocking photos of Bush clearing brush that wasn't dead yet

Filed under: American Idle

Please look away if you have a weak stomach. The rest of you please witness the recently uncovered photos (shown above) depicting President George W. Bush disposing of brush that appeared to be dead, but was, in actuality, almost almost dead�but might have survived in a persistent vegetative state.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 24, 2005 8:56 AM

 

Snore Stop written on his forehead, douche bag written all over his face

Filed under: American Idle

This undated photo shows Andrew Fischer of Omaha, Neb., wearing the logo for the snoring remedy, SnoreStop, on his forehead. Fischer auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising space. SnoreStop topped the bidding by offering $37,375 on e-Bay.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 23, 2005 5:40 PM

 

Oh, the Mexican President, not the wingnut propaganda machine

Filed under: American Idle

Headline from AZCentral.com that almost made perfect sense.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 22, 2005 4:52 PM

 

Build your own Garfield strip!

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 21, 2005 7:01 AM

 

Bush denies using performance enhancing drugs

Filed under: American Idle

Surprise testimony during the House Government Reform Committee hearings on steroid use in baseball came from President George W. Bush who described how big he thought Jose Canseco's "man-boobs" got while using steroids. "I couldn't believe he could still swing a bat," the president stated. After five minutes or so, the president was led out of the room by Karl Rove flashing shiny beads and trinkets.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 19, 2005 10:44 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (3/18)

Filed under: American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Tuesday Scene - Faux Jean
2. The Last Thing on My Mind - Cry Cry Cry
3. There'll Be No Next Time - Louie Prima
4. Here Comes Your Man - Pixies (Live at the Fine Line)
5. Holiday Story - X
6. Savoy Truffle - The Beatles
7. Plenty More - Squirrel Nut Zippers
8. Freedom - The Housemartins
9. Concrete & Clay - Unit 4+2
10. Matinee Idyll (129) - Split Enz

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 18, 2005 8:58 AM

 

Keep your eye on the acquittal

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 17, 2005 9:37 AM

 

They're what everyone's wearing to court this spring!

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 16, 2005 4:02 PM

 

Bush reveals details of new Social Security plan

Filed under: American Idle

Logan 5 and Jessica 6 joined President Bush at a townhall meeting in Louisville, Kentucky, to finally unveil the details of Bush's plan to save Social Security. Under the new scheme, family members would begin receiving benefits when the primary provider reaches age 30.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 14, 2005 7:11 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (3/11)

Filed under: American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Kiss - Richard Thompson
2. Dance Commander - Electric Six
3. Titus - Split Enz
4. Judy is a Punk - The Ramones
5. Thousands are Sailing - The Pogues
6. Back in the USSR - The Beatles
7. An Experiment - Mates of State
8. Driving Me Mad - Neil Finn
9. Rolling - Soul Coughing
10. Toto Dies - Nellie McKay

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 11, 2005 8:59 AM

 

Laura and Condi join forces to create the ultimate Mrs. George W. Bush

Filed under: American Idle

First Lady Barbara Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made their first public appearance after being surgically joined at the spine, creating President George W. Bush's ultimate dream wife. "They followed my 1976 letter to 'Penthouse' perfectly!" exclaimed a visibly-fatigued Commander-in-Chief.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 10, 2005 4:36 PM

 

Mickelson gets fucked on the 18th hole

Filed under: American Idle

Phil Mickelson missed a putt on the final hole of the Ford Championship, losing to Tiger Woods who finished 24 under par.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 9, 2005 3:08 PM

 

Clues uncovered about Homo georgiensis

Filed under: American Idle

A handout photo from the National Geographic Society shows an artist�s impression released by the University of Wollongong, south of Sydney, showing a human species discovered by Australian and Indonesian scientists on the Indonesian island of Flores and named Homo georgiensis. With a brain one-third the size of a contemporary human�s, GW43 had a blend of Homo erectus traits � like a sloping forehead � and more familiar Homo sapiens characteristics. Given the hobbit�s small brain, Dean Falk, a paleoneurologist, was intrigued by the sophisticated tools and evidence of fire that archaeologists uncovered.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 8, 2005 12:03 PM

 

The Post-Oscar Curse

Filed under: American Idle

Good luck to recent Academy Award winners Jamie Foxx, Hilary Swank, Cate Blanchett, and Morgan Freeman on their next endeavors. Movie companies have a tendency to poop in your tub by releasing a pre-Oscar steaming pile you shot to cover the house payments, and you thought it would be fun to film on a cruise ship with Horatio Sanz.

(This is all for fun, so don't get in the bag if I screwed something up!)

Previous Oscar winners, and the film that followed the ceremony:

Actor	First role/film after Oscar ceremony
Renee Zellweger (2003) Cold Mountain	Fish in Shark Tale
Catherine Zeta-Jones (2002) Chicago	cellphone commercials, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas cartoon
Halle Berry (2001) Monster's Ball	Jinx in Die Another Day
Jennifer Connelly (2001) A Beautiful Mind	Bruce Banner's girlfriend in The Hulk
Adrien Brody (2002) The Piano	diet pop commercials
Tim Robbins (2003) Mystic River	PBS anchor in Anchorman
Marcia Gay Harden (2000) Pollock	Richard Dreyfuss TV turd The Education of Max Bickford (when CBS was still in last place)
Kevin Spacey (1999) American Beauty	Feel-good waste product Pay It Forward
Angelina Jolie (1999) Girl Interrupted	"Sway" in Gone in 60 Seconds remake
Cuba Gooding Jr. (1996) Jerry Maguire	Instinct, Men of Honor, Pearl Harbor, Rat Race, Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, Radio - for the love of Christ, get a new agent!
Nicolas Cage (1995) Leaving Las Vegas	Alcatraz thriller The Rock
Holly Hunter (1994) The Piano	serial killer thriller Copycat with has-been Sigourney Weaver
Joe Pesci (1990) Goodfellas	slumlord in The Super
Geena Davis (1987) The Accidental Tourist	bank-robbing clown caper Quick Change
Sean Connery (1987) The Untouchables	Mark Harmon vehicle The Presidio
Louis Gossett, Jr. (1982) An Office and a Gentleman	Jaws 3-D: The Third Dimension in Shit
Timothy Hutton (1980) Ordinary People	Narrator of Teenage Suicide: Don't Try It!
Sally Field (1979) Norma Rae	Smokey and the Bandit II

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 7, 2005 6:52 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten

Filed under: American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Half Dead and Dynamite - Lifter Puller
2. Hello Stranger - Barbara Lewis
3. Vamos - The Pixies
4. Wild is the Wind - Nina Simone
5. The Minor Drag - Fats Waller
6. Hello It's Me - Todd Rundgren
7. Porno 3003 - Pizzicato Five
8. The Eton Rifles - The Jam
9. Who Was That Girl? - Bill Frisell
10. Red Hot Moon - Rancid

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 4, 2005 2:08 PM

 

Mmm

Filed under: American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 4, 2005 7:18 AM

 

Senate Minority Leader rushed to hospital with Kerry-like tumor on the back of his head

Filed under: American Idle

Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) was rushed to the hospital earlier today for what appeared to be a liberal Massachusetts senator growing out of the back of his head. His condition is still listed as moderate.

Posted by Corey Anderson at March 3, 2005 2:35 PM

 

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