May 2005

« April 2005 | Main | June 2005 »

For those double-flushers

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 28, 2005 8:21 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (5/27)

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Ignoreland - R.E.M.
2. Party Generation - Dar Williams
3. Improper Dancing - Electric Six
4. Screenwriter's Blues - Soul Coughing
5. Dead - The Pixies
6. Turn a Square - The Shins
7. Someone to Watch Over Me - Chet Baker
8. You Are My Sunshine - Norman Blake
9. Panic - The Smiths
10. People Get Ready - The Blind Boys of Alabama

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 27, 2005 9:04 AM

 

Has anyone seen my chartreuse neckerchief?

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 26, 2005 4:05 PM

 

"cracker_watch"
Texas yearbook indentifies National Honor Society student only as "Black Girl"

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

WAXAHACHIE, Texas -- A North Texas school district has apologized to a student identified only as "Black Girl" in a high school yearbook photo of the school's National Honor Society. All white students are identified by name in the photograph in the Waxahachie High School yearbook distributed Friday. The teen identified as "Black Girl" is the only black student in the photo.

Read the whole story here.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 23, 2005 5:49 PM

 

"cracker_watch"
Georgia principal dismisses journalism, advocates cosmetology

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

MARIETTA, Ga. -- This school year's final edition of a high school student newspaper was killed and the school's journalism class was eliminated after the principal said the paper highlighted negative stories and a lack of thorough reporting.

The principal, Randolph Bynum, cut the journalism class in part because the students were writing pieces on teenage pregnancy and vandalism in the parking lot, instead of fake propagandistic stories about how damn awesome the school is.

Bynum also stated that due to a teacher shortage, the journalism class had to be cut in order to keep more popular courses like cosmetology. Ladies! Please move away from your computers and over to the finger nail polish please!

Read the complete story here.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 20, 2005 12:33 PM

 

Don't read the headline too fast

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Who the hell wrote this headline? When should the phrases "Bush promises probe" and "Saddam underwear" ever be used in the same sentence? Or was it actually supposed say "Bush promises probe into Saddam underwear: pictures!"

UPDATE: "Promises" has become "pledges," and "underwear" has become "prison" in the story's headline.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 20, 2005 10:52 AM

 

Straight Outta D.C.

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Senator Thad Cochran, R-Miss., at left and Sen. Pete Domenici, R-N.M., at right, attempt to draw African-Americans into the battle over judicial filibusters on Capitol Hill by flashing gang signs they learned while watching "Boyz in the Hood" over lunch in Cochran's office.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 20, 2005 10:05 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (5/20)

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. You and Your Folks/23rd Psalm - The Blind Boys of Alabama
2. Glow in the Dark (Demo) - Fishbone
3. La Bambola - Patty Pravo
4. These Things Take Time - The Smiths
5. Snowflake Music - Mark Mothersbaugh
6. Marry, Ageyn Hic Hev Donne Yt - Richard Thompson
7. Stephanie Says - The Velvet Underground
8. Fancy's Funny Shirt - FannyPack
9. Greetings to the New Brunette - Billy Bragg
10. Approaching Pavonis Mons By Balloon - Flaming Lips

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 20, 2005 8:44 AM

 

The Dark Side is strong in this one...

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 19, 2005 4:31 PM

 

"cracker_watch"
Alabaman graduates high school

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

MONTGOMERY, ALA. -- A pregnant student who was banned from graduation at her Roman Catholic high school announced her own name and walked across the stage anyway at the close of the program.

Now, getting a high school diploma in Alabama should not only be encouraged, but is probably worthy of a national holiday or commemorative stamp. Not so at St. Jude Educational Institute, where school officials wouldn't allow Alysha Cosby to attend her graduation because of "safety concerns," not that they encouraged her to practice "safety concerns" when she was at Lookout Point making the beast with two backs with a fellow senior, who was allowed to attend the ceremony with his insatiable penis.

Read the complete story here

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 18, 2005 4:28 PM

 

North Carolina church for Democrats opens in time for Sunday services

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

A glimpse at this Sunday's bulletin:

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 13, 2005 11:16 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (5/13)

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Joining Rox Pop and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Sketchy Metal - The Hold Steady
2. Faith - Sheila Nicholls
3. Lost in the Supermarket - The Clash
4. Flight of the Bumblebee - Faux Jean
5. Shenandoah - Richard Thompson
6. Love Quarry - A House
7. The Dog Song - Nellie McKay
8. Carnation - Liam Gallagher and Steve Cradock
9. Every Day is Like Sunday - Morrissey
10. Work Song - Charles Mingus

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 13, 2005 7:30 AM

 

Insurgents kill last person in Iraq

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

After almost two years of car bombings and suicide attacks, insurgents finally killed the last person in Iraq, a Karbal shopkeeper named Ahmed. "He was wily, you gotta give him that," a spokeman for the insurgents announced yesterday. No information on future insurging plans were given.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 9, 2005 8:46 AM

 

First Lady limits National Day of Prayer address to one filthy sex joke

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Emboldened by her knock-out performance at the recent White House Correspondents dinner, but respectful of the circumstances, First Lady Laura Bush limited herself to only one obscene anecdote at the National Day of Prayer Event held in the Capitol Rotunda on Thursday.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 6, 2005 4:27 PM

 

"cracker_watch"
Hillbilly pastor kicks Democrats out of his church

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

EAST WAYNESVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA - East Waynesville Baptist asked nine members to leave. Now 40 more have left the church in protest. Former members say Pastor Chan Chandler gave them the ultimatum, saying if they didn't support George Bush, they should resign or repent. The minister, not your run of the mill love-your-neighbor type minister, declined an interview, but in nearly undigestible irony, he did say "the actions were not politically motivated." There are questions about whether the bi-laws were followed when the members were thrown out.

Read what little of the story is available so far here

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 6, 2005 11:32 AM

 

American Idle Friday Random Ten (5/6)

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Joining Rox Pop, Norwegianity, and Feministe, et al, here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Sweet Disorder - Straw People
2. Center Stage - Indigo Girls
3. The Modern World - Ben Harper
4. The Bees - His Name is Alive
5. Which Will - Nick Drake
6. I've Never Been in Love Before - Chet Baker
7. Monster Man - Soul Coughing
8. Blue - The Jayhawks
9. The Passion - Billy Bragg
10. Girl Inform Me - The Shins

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 6, 2005 9:59 AM

 

"cracker_watch"
Theory of Evolution refuted as exact same evolution trial occurs 80 years apart

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

Few recall Col. Sherman Potter presided over the Scopes Monkey Trial

TOPEKA, Kan. - A six-day courtroom-style debate opened on Thursday in Kansas over what children should be taught in schools about the origin of life -- was it natural evolution or did God create the world?

The hearings, complete with opposing attorneys and a long list of witnesses, were arranged amid efforts by some Christian groups in Kansas and nationally to reverse the domination of evolutionary theory in the nation's schools.

Read the rest of the story in old timey newspapers from the Depression, or at Yahoo right now

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 6, 2005 6:34 AM

 

2000 and 2004 election manipulators finally meet

Filed under: American Idle , American Idle

Florida Governor Jeb Bush and Pope Benedict XVI shared a smile last month, recalling their usurping of the last two U.S. presidential elections. The two parted ways vowing to get Arrested Development cancelled and see to it Afleet Alex wins the Kentucky Derby.

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 5, 2005 4:24 PM

 

"cracker_watch"
Crackers use Bible to justify beatin' the varmints

Filed under: Cracker Watch , Cracker Watch

DOVER, OHIO -- Tyler Wallick says it is out of faith and love that he spanks his children. He is one of a number of fundamentalist Christians, who in their literal interpretation of the Bible, regard corporal punishment as a religious and parental duty... and secretly kinda fun!

Wallick says his boys -- Trey, 10, and Drew, 4, -- only get spanked with a belt when they're dishonest or disrespectful. Imagine how much he'll want to beat them when they turn gay out of spite.

For justification, Wallick points to the Old Testament, which says in the book of Proverbs: "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." His wife better hope he doesn't find that part in Deuteronomy about cutting off your spouse's hands or she won't be able to drive the kids to soccer practice anymore.

Read the story at ABCnews.com before I tan yer hide!

Posted by Corey Anderson at May 3, 2005 7:03 PM

 

« April 2005 | Main | June 2005 »