The presidential portrait of Bill Clinton attempted to score with Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr.'s daughter, Laura, during this morning's Supreme Court nominating ceremony. Apparently, the lack of a third dimension did not allow him to get beyond his patented "comforting hand on the shoulder" move. Alito also appears to be married to Joan Mondale circa 1982.

Joining Rox Pop, TBogg, Pharyngula, and Feministe, (while Gisleson FARTs into his couch cushions) here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Knuckles - The Hold Steady
2. The Passion of Lovers - Bauhaus
3. Mental Notes - Split Enz
4. String Quartet in F Major - Maurice Ravel
5. Lemon Meringue - Fishbone
6. Micro Kid - Level 42
7. Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles
8. Beautiful Enemy - Dar Williams
9. Stand By Me - The Blind Boys of Alabama
10. The Dark of the Matinee - Franz Ferdinand

AP -- Exxon Mobil Corp. had a quarter for the record books. The world's largest publicly traded oil company said Thursday high oil and natural-gas prices helped its third-quarter profit surge almost 75 percent to $9.92 billion, the largest quarterly profit for a U.S. company ever, and it was the first to ring up more than $100 billion in quarterly sales.

Congratulations. We're just really, really happy for you guys. Hope I don't shatter my frozen fingers applauding your impending fourth-quarter earnings.

Later today, President Bush will announce Alan Greenspan's successor as Federal Reserve Board Chairman. The pick is rumored to be Ethan Granstrom, a veterinarian from Columbus, Ohio, who was on a tour of the White House when Bush came strolling by and plucked him out of the bathroom line. "I took one look at those smarty-pants glasses and knew this guy would know about money!" Bush declared.

UPDATE: It's come to my attention that this is American Idle blog post # 666... bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff spoke to a Senate Committee this morning about FEMA's lackluster response in the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma, which is expected to hit Florida Monday morning. "We have plans in place to blame the governor, and, depending on where it hits, either the mayor of Miami or the mayor of Fort Lauderdale," Chertoff stated.

Joining Rox Pop, TBogg, Pharyngula, and Feministe, (while Gisleson FARTs into his couch cushions) here's the American Idle Friday Random Ten:

1. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole
2. The Big Issue - Chumbawamba
3. Are You A Hypnotist?? - The Flaming Lips
4. Ten Little Kids - The Jayhawks
5. Sexuality - Billy Bragg
6. Indian War Whoop - John Hartford
7. She's Electric - Oasis
8. Let's Get It Up - Hayseed Dixie
9. Closer To Me - Dar Williams
10. How Could Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel? - Morrissey

In what should have been a PR no-brainer, President Bush was to meet with the conservative White Guys in Red Ties Club, a major donor to both presidential campaigns. Gasps filled the room when the president strolled into the Oval Office to greet club officers and the press wearing what appeared to be a blue necktie. "It was a slap in the face, I tell ya," groused Second Vice President H. Barnett Worthington, "especially to our treasurer Coleman Chesterton, who's wheelchair-bound and had to face that damn blue tie the whole time!"