Forgive me.

I think I like Tom Cruise now. This is after years of finding him nauseating.

Did you see him on Oprah? Boyfriend was chock full o' nuts. He was enflamed. He was leaping onto the couch, yelping, writhing, genuflecting to O.

I had no idea he was that insane, that unbridled, that giddy. Maybe Tom and I have something in common. Neither of us believes in being subtle when we have an urgent, throbbing boner for someone extraordinary. Tommy's in love with Mushy McValtrex, and he wants all of us to know!

I might have even let out the faintest squee while I was watching. He's kind of cute in a shameful, reptilian, Justin Guarini way. Sue me.