God is a Bottle of Wet n' Wild #415A

Interesting tidbit: When I asked for opinions about blue nail polish (survey says: not dag!) I received responses exclusively from women. But when I asked for opinions about God, all my responses came from dudes. Either the ladies are totally self-absorbed (woo!) or the dudes fail to acknowledge the sobering, near-religious importance of having au courant fingertips. I choose to believe both.

More polish nostalgia (polishstalgia?): I watched part of Pulp Fiction last night and found myself ogling Uma Thurman's short, Vamp-lacquered nails. Remember Vamp? It was the color of a really gnarly menstrual clot, and everyone, even squeamish Gap girls in straw espadrilles, wore it. Of course, if you were anything like me, you weren't about to shell out $15 for a bottle of viscous trend-goo. Revlon's shameless knockoff, "Vixen," worked just fine. Hell, even Wet n' Wild (which dried to the consistency of Liquid Paper and chipped if you touched it, breathed on it, or even examined it too intently) came out with a Vamp doppelganger.

You'll notice that the article I linked to above came out in 1995. That means Vamp is at least ten years old, and therefore acceptable for use once again. Actually, a lot of people never stopped wearing it, which means Vamp, in all its dark gory glory, has acheived unlikely classic status. I just might buy a bottle this weekend, since I'm clearly obsessed with 1995. Oh to be 17 again, mouth smeared in a brown impasto of ColorStay lipstick, nails varnished with discount Vamp, breasts pointing skyward, pubic thatch endearingly ungroomed!