Bad Libs, or, Fill in the blanks, homies.

I sincerely apologize for (choose one) not answering your email/not reading your script/not blogging/not returning your calls/not answering you even when spoken to directly this weekend. I am extremely busy. Not "hard week at work" busy, not "last-minute Christmas prep" busy, not even "chasing a hypoglycemic toddler" busy. I'm busier than that. BUSIER. Believe it. I am busier than Bea Arthur at Carpet World/Kirk Cameron in a roomful of Wiccans/Britney Spears at a prenatal wine tasting.

Ever heard the phrase "Don't write a check your ass can't cash"? That's me right now. And said posterior is mega-overdrawn.

I'm reduced to making Britney Spears jokes in 2005. That must mean the well is dry.