Diablo Clinton and the P-Ranch All Stars

You knew when I dyed my hair dark that I had to be transitioning to an "outrageous" new hair project, right? I may be unpredictable, but predictably so. Most girls buy twenty pairs of shoes a year and change their hair once or twice. I prefer to do the inverse. Making and installing extensions soothes the mind as well. Much, like, oh, I don't know, knitting?

Please ignore my pallid complexion and the plummy, poetic circles beneath my eyes. It's all about the mermaid tentacles (black swirled with platinum and a few pink stragglers for Punque Roq appeal.)

This is a more formal look, for white-tie benefits, spring cleaning, etc.

Here's a blast from the past! Best dread extensions I ever had, courtesy of Hair Police. Look at my flushed, healthy visage! That's what happens when you grind dick all day, kids. But my poor right nipple looks so smushed--my fucking manager made me buy a corset because he wasn't ready for that jelly.