Handicrafts

See, I am so domestic! Behold, a jaunty sash of variegated wool yarn, handmade by me this very afternoon. I'm going to give this to my friend Trixi because she's always knitting me cool shit, including the infamous Fruity Pebbles Shawl.

Next week: I share my recipe for homemade whipped cream-- it involves rapid Kegels. See, I'll never let things get boring around here. Honest engine.

Speaking of manual labor and pleasures of the hearth, I am back on a handjob kick. Handjobs rule. Sometimes a good handjob can be even more endearing than reverse-cowgirl pyrotechnics. Plus, handjobs can be sweetly impersonal in dating situations. A handjob whispers, "I like you." It's a loose, light, no pressure type of mack. You don't have to worry that Handjob Girl (or Handjob Guy) is planning to drag you back to Skokie to meet her folks. It's a handjob. Likewise, if you're in an established relationship, a handjob says "I still like you" or "I'm sorry the Ambien doesn't work anymore-- let me help." Dang it, handjobs are NICE! And I'm trying to be nice lately!