In which I swing, cavort, and eventually eat shit

What ho! A pole hast been erected in my ghastly parlor! Ernie looks on, bored, as I gleefully seize my new iron toy. Check out my manly bicep-- Nigerian Man would be pleased.

A grimace of pain is easily disguised as an inviting smile. Just call me Rupert Grunt, boyish star of Harry Potter and the Atrophied Abdominal Muscles.

Whee! I'm flying, Jack, I'm flying! And not just because of the Percodan.

This was going to be a really sweet trick, but unfortunately my camera's timer is entirely too sluggish. Ideal audio track for this shot: KERRR-RASH. *sweet mother of fuck!* (mutter, mutter)

At least I remembered to point my toes while falling. I'm a graceful idiot.