OMGOMGOMG!

I need this so bad!

Look at it! Slovenly glamour epitomized! And for less than the cost of two Zubrowka martinis!

I may or may not be having a birthday next Wednesday, so listen up, Jonny: I NEED A GIANT SATIN CAFTAN SO I CAN LOOK LIKE A POST-COITAL RUE MCCLANAGHAN.

I can't decide if I want Leopard or Seashore. One says "old tramp with nicotine-stained nipples" and the other says "old hippie who buys bulk gorp and feeds it to gulls." I am both these women, only young.

You feel me, right?