Best and worst celebrity zombie tributes
This Saturday is the seventh-annual blood-soaked blowout known affectionately as Zombie Pub Crawl (or ZPC, for acronym enthusiasts). The cool thing about ZPC is that it's easy to get dressed for: paint your face, roll around in some dirt, spray yourself with a little fake blood, and voila! Insta-zombie! But if you really want to stand out from the crowd, there's no better way to do this than by slaying the memory of your favorite deceased pop culture icon with a zombie-fied tribute costume.
But how do you know if your zombie celebrity ensemble is amazing, or if it falls into the hotly debated "too soon" category? And more importantly, how do you make sure that your tastelessly hilarious zombie tribute stands out from the thousands of other undead roaming the streets? This week, we're taking the guess work out of it by providing you our lists of best (and worst) celebrity zombie tribute ideas. Proceed at your own risk.
You know what America loves? Friendly old guys with giant checks. You know what America hated? When the only friendly old guy in the world who gave out giant checks bit it back in 2009. It's true, fans of undeserved wealth and Star Search both lost a hero when Ed McMahon passed on a few years back, but thanks to the ZPC, you can make Eddie Mac walk tall once again this year. Just grab a giant homemade check (if you really want to get dark, write it out to the Real Housewives guy for $1,000,000) dirty up your freshest blazer, and start belly-laughing your way into zombie stardom. People will be DYING (get it? Get it?) to snap a photo with you, and for one night you can party like Ed. Just be careful, because if creditors see you dressed up like the American Family Publisher's superstar, they will foreclose on your house. Remember, death follows you to the grave, kiddos.
Bad idea: Zombie Bin Laden/Hitler/Saddam Hussein
Look, we get it. It seems like dressing as a dead version of one of the world's worst terrorists would make for HILARIOUS bar fodder. But guaranteed if you run around wearing a dusty Nazi uniform (and why exactly do you have that in the first place?), or if anyone overhears you proudly referring to yourself as "zombie Al Qaeda," chances are you're going to catch a very un-hilarious beatdown in the street. Worst of all? With all of the fake blood and flopping around, no one will even notice the difference.
And we haven't even touched on what will happen if zombie Abraham Lincoln or zombie John Wayne catch a glimpse of you. That's a patriotic zombie stomping beyond your wildest dreams.
Imagine this scenario: It's about midnight and there are a bunch of zombie bros slurring out bad game on some fine zombie ladies at the Corner Bar. Clearly they aren't interested, but given the theme of the evening, they're considering some anonymous zombie petting. Then all of a sudden, out nowhere, they see a dusty afro approaching them. It's you, dressed as zombie Bob Ross, painting happy zombie trees all over that place. Guess who those ladies are going home with? Exactly.
Bob Ross sadly passed away back in the mid-90s, but over 15 years later his legacy lives on through reruns of The Joy of Painting and ironic T-shirts being sold on carts in the Mall of America. Now imagine walking around for the evening, paintbrush in hand, making people smile with your soft voice and softer hair. The result? The happiest zombie-themed event ever.
Bad idea: Any sports-themed zombie
Seriously, you're better off dressing like a dead war criminal than you are walking around as a dead sports star. Sports fans don't play when it comes to their heroes, so put down the jersey.
Ohhhhh yeah! The pro wrestling world bowed its collective head in silence this past summer when one of the greatest icons snapped into a tree trunk. But just when you thought it was time to retire your tasseled jacket and colorful sunglasses, ZPC comes along and breathes new life (sort of) into the Macho Man's legacy. All you need for this one is an ugly cowboy hat, a bunch of Slim Jims (which also come in handy once you're blasted and looking for snacks), and your own rap song, and you're set. Dig it?
Originally we had this one listed as a great idea, but after some deeper research (thank you, Wikipedia) it appears that JTT is still alive and therefore may not be the best choice for a zombie. Also, let's be honest, as an obscure child star of yester-year there's always an outside shot that this dude could die at any given moment -- like during the ZPC -- and then you'll look like the dark angel of celebrity death. Can you live with being the reason for Randy Taylor's death? CAN YOU?