No Pants on the light rail this Sunday

Categories: WTF
No pants 2012 3.jpg
Last year's pantless group
This Sunday afternoon, over one-hundred Minnesotans will board the light rail at the Mall of America -- a fairly ordinary occurrence at America's monument to materialism. Most will be in their teens and 20s, and they'll exude a nervous energy. Soon after the LRT glides beyond the stop, a signal will pass through the crowd. Hurriedly, to the amazement of other passengers, the riders will yank off their pants, revealing legs goose-pimpled and paled by winter.

The crowd will spend their LRT round trip, from the MOA to Target Field and back, pantsless. This weekend is the fifth-annual No Pants Ride, a live improv event orchestrated by the goons of Plan B, and it's just about the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon in mid-January.

Related stories:
Freedom from Pants: Patriotic Nudity at its Best

Freedom from Pants [SLIDESHOW]
No-Pants Light Rail Ride this Sunday


No pants 2012 1.jpg
"These events are a chance for that inner mischievous part of everyone to come out and play in a safe and fun environment," say No Pants coordinator Chris Kliewer, who's on Plan B's Council of Champions. "Dropping your pants on a train full of others leads to a lot of curious looks and some laughs. Many people travel through life with blinders on, and this is way to open their world."

The goal, he says, "isn't to make a spectacle of yourself" -- though that is what happens, of course -- "but instead to just enjoy a nice [bare-legged] rail ride on a brisk January day."

That's where the improv aspect of No Pants comes in. If a participant is asked why he's pants-free, he's to respond with, "Oh, I just forgot to wear pants today, no big deal!" or "My dog ate my pants. I gotta make due with these underoos." A No Pantser mustn't break character.

Plan B's No Pants ride was inspired by Charlie Todd of New York City's Improv Everywhere. "Twelve years ago," says Kliewer, "Mr. Todd and several friends decided to ride the subway sans pants, and act as if nothing was amiss. It has grown exponentially ever since, and it went international several years ago."

Kliewer and his Plan B buddies saw Todd's joyous handiwork and thought, "'We have colder, snowier winters! We can show them what the Midwest is REALLY made of!' Turns out, it leads to a lot of blindness due to pale legs," he says.

Now, you may be wondering about the legal implications of riding the light rail with no pants on. Should people worry about spending their Sunday night in jail for indecent exposure? Turns out, you shouldn't. Plan B works with both the MTA and the MOA's security team to ensure No Pants is an above-board operation.

No Pantsers are free to ride the LRT pantsless all they want, as long as they don't, for example, pull off their underwear, too, or wear undies that are just a bit too revealing. That means no form-fitting BVDs, fellas. Stick with the boxers. Participants must also put their pants back on before entering the Mall of America. We don't want to freak out the tourists.

IF YOU GO:

No Pants Ride 2013
Meet in the MOA's transit station
1 p.m. Sunday
Look for the Plan B sign, then prepare to fling off your pantalones

Location Info

Map

Mall of America

60 E. Broadway, Bloomington, MN

Category: General


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35 comments
Theresa Bruckner
Theresa Bruckner

I do appreciate your scientific approach toward ensuring diverse sampling, though. ^_~

Theresa Bruckner
Theresa Bruckner

No, no. Go back and ask her, "Have you ever had an experience of being groped, or assaulted, or sexually harassed by someone while you were on public transit?" When the answer to that is "yes," because it will be, follow up with, "And were you wearing pants at the time, or were you just hanging out in your undies?" Then see what she says. I don't have much in the way of cash money, but I'll bet it all on her answer being, "I was wearing pants."

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

I said what I said tongue in cheek. :) Sorry it came across any different. Text is a hard way to convey certain emotions. I meant no offense.

CornNolman
CornNolman

What a terrific metaphor for a transportation system to nowhere operating 13 million in the hole.We have all lost our pants ..............and our shirts!

Marcos Maiero
Marcos Maiero

Well I read your response and, upon asking the first woman about the pants-factor, I was told, "of course." She was also wearing pants, so that might have affected the outcome. I will go look for a pantsless woman and get back to you though.

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

This is just silly.  Nothing more; nothing less.  No harm in silly.  No earth-changing benefit either.  It's not about sexual battery, sanitary conditions, where or where not would you or I want to be pantsless.  Just some people being silly. and harming no-one.

Theresa Bruckner
Theresa Bruckner

Yeah, worked up though Chris may be, I'm with him here. Sexual battery isn't caused by people not wearing pants; it's caused by rapists and predators. And if wearing pants prevented predators from groping or assaulting or harassing people on public transit, maybe you'd have a point, but ask any woman you know whether that's the case. (Spoiler alert: she will tell you that it's not the case.)

Theresa Bruckner
Theresa Bruckner

No, actually; that's an insane thing to say, and I never said it. Jesus, you're wound up about this. What I did say is that I don't know why anyone thinks this is a good idea. I don't know how much time you actually spend in your life on public transit, but I ride multiple forms multiple times a day, and I've seen far too much of what other people leave on those seats to go anywhere near them in my skivvies. On the list of Places to Which I Would Like to Go Sans-Pants, public transit vehicles are really, really far down on the list. I honestly might go dumpster diving first. This isn't an issue of you and your ever-so-enlightened pantsless cohorts just being far too liberal and open-minded and fun-loving for the tastes of your hopelessly straight-laced, suffocatingly pedestrian fellow Twin Citizens; this is an issue of public transit being gross. I love it, I rely on it, and I'm glad it's there, but it's gross. But maybe fewer people are pissing in Metro Transit light rail seats, or leaving needles on them, or smearing food on them, or sweating on them, or pooping on them, or smoking crack on them than they are on Muni or BART. I note that no one's planning a pantsless ride on the 2 down Franklin in the middle of a weekday, so maybe that's the case--that light rail is still new and nice enough for this to be less gross than it eventually will be.

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

We've gotten many great reactions to this... We had an airline pilot board the train one year, look around, and say "If I wasn't in uniform, I'd join in."

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

It's no less sanitary than the summer time when all of those hot and sweaty people wearing shorts board the train and sit down. In fact, it is probably much cleaner this way since there is still clothing between skin and seats and a lot less of the sweatiness.

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

The only way the "inevitable sexual battery" would occur, is if narrow-minded people who post about "inevitable sexual battery" were to show up. Thank (insert your favorite deity's name here) that never happens!

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

Always. Every time something like this happens, it degenerates into a mindless sex party. EVERY. TIME.

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

Those people are obviously a bunch of class-less degenerates who have nothing better to do than cause major issues in other people's lives... They should all be shot. Right?

Theresa Bruckner
Theresa Bruckner

I don't know why people think this is a good idea. Granted, the light rail was impressively clean last time I was there, but just--no, you guys. No in Minneapolis, no in LA, no in SF. No, anywhere you want to do this. There is nothing about public transit that should ever encourage the removal of pants.

Chris Kliewer
Chris Kliewer

I love all of the negativity that people post when they read about this. They are all like "Gross" or "dumb" etc... Don't attend if this isn't your type of thing. But don't hate on what other people do for fun. This doesn't harm you in any way, so why all the hate?

Jennifer Beth Mykleby
Jennifer Beth Mykleby

I can't imagine who when they pick up tourists at the airport they're gonna think..HA HA HA!!

John Alverson
John Alverson

Soooo, they are wearing shorts in the winter. Got it.

Marcos Maiero
Marcos Maiero

Can't wait for City Page's coverage on the inevitable sexual battery.

Pang Yang
Pang Yang

Gross. Make sure they provide antibacterial wipes.

Dan Gustafson
Dan Gustafson

And MetCouncil will report that the light rail had it's highest ridership since it's inception.

urbanite
urbanite

@CornNolman you are pretty ignorant if you think roads and highways pay for themselves and light rail and public transportation is the boondoggle. It is the only one of those things that actually tries to make a portion of the money back! I'd say light rail is a 10x better investment in our city than more highways or things of that nature. If you don't like it leave. good riddance to you.

urbanite
urbanite

@Chris Kliewer it mihgt harm them in the sense that they will have to look at some fat guy's pasty, hairy legs on their way to work or shopping, etc, but I get what you are saying.

urbanite
urbanite

@Jennifer Beth Mykleby oh god i wanna see a video of the terminal 1 stop


urbanite
urbanite

@Dan Gustafson have you ever tried to find a spot to sit on the light rail during rush hour?

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