The most hilarious and thought-provoking parts of Chris Kluwe's new book

Categories: Books

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If you're familiar with Chris Kluwe's opinionated, profanity-strewn internet pieces, you've already got a pretty good idea what his book is like. Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies is a glorious mishmash of essays, letters, articles, and thoughts collected by the outspoken punter. However, it's not all cockmonsters and sparkleponies here.

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Kluwe dives into his first book with passion and a little bit of trepidation, openly describing his writing process and switching styles throughout the work. While he's known for his "beautifully unique" vocabulary, he proves himself a worthy philosopher with a slew of anecdotes and hypothetical situations that play as modern representations of classic allegories. He explores topics including fatherhood, national tragedies, privilege, and entertainment, managing to bring readers along for the ride, stream of consciousness-style, with a touch of refinement.

Kluwe opines on various themes (dinosaurs included), but it's clear that there are some things he's uncomfortable discussing: himself. However, he manages to gets his points across without chapters upon chapters about every event that has shaped him so far. It's refreshing for a book that's essentially one man's thoughts on everything under the sun.

Oh, and don't look for anything about his former Vikings teammates. Though Kluwe touches on football a few times, there aren't any juicy details.

Though we recommend you go out and read this guy's wisdom for yourself, we picked out some of our favorite tidbits for you.


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11. Kluwe's grasp of language and words have proved insanely successful for the athlete, and you can bet there'll be a lot of discussion about what works and doesn't.


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10. Just like he tore into homophobia with his infamous letter on Deadspin, Kluwe rips apart gun nuts' arguments with his one-of-a-kind command of the English language.


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9. Doesn't Ayn Rand do that to everyone?


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8. Preach.


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7. Rough life, huh.


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6. Kluwe lays out just what you need to rule over the masses, and it ain't pretty.

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