I Can't Believe It's Not Paint Thinner: Blue Raspberry
Burnett’s vodka is manufactured by Heaven Hill, makers of just about every type of hard liquor imaginable. They are also the brains behind uber–tendy, brightly–colored beverages like Hpnotiq and PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur. Like most dubious products created by a manufacturer of decent reputation, there is nary a mention of this electric blue beverage on their site. While they make a variety of flavored vodkas, blue raspberry appears to be the only flavor dyed to look like something a Smurf would binge drink on. So let’s get Smurf-y.
Nate Patrin: It smells like an Icee!
Jessica Armbruster: It doesn’t taste bad. It sort of tastes like lip gloss.
Ward Rubrecht: Oh it tastes awful straight.
Andrew Myers: Like, a snowcone poured on an Oxypad.
WR: I think it’s interesting that liquor doesn’t have to include an ingredients list.
AM: It looks like Windex.
WR: It’s windshield wiper fluid.
JA: It doesn’t taste bad mixed with Sprite; it’s really sweet. But I would never think to order this at a bar. Ever.
WR: What’s the proof?
AM: 60 proof, so a little lower than normal.
Matt Snyders: I could see how this could kill somebody, it’s deceptively sweet. A new drinker could try this and die.
Jonathan Kaminsky: It’s sweet.
JA: I actually kind of like it with the Sprite.
NP (raises glass): To blue states!
Conversation devolves into talk on the tastiness of Gefilte fish and pickled herring. People then begin dancing like they are listening to bad reggae.