Varities are often laced with "exotic" fruits such as pineapple, lime, raspberry, and strawberry. Today, we will be sampling Arbor Mist: Exotic Fruits, as the bottle states: "A fine wine product with delicious raspberry, lime, and other natural flavors."

Though not really a wine frequently purchased by hobos, I still don’t know that I have much faith in the fans of Arbor Mist. Their website’s FAQ features questions like: How do I open the bottle? (Answer: Twist it off. Pour.) What is the nutritional content? (Answer: It is not nutritious nor is it a good source of calcium). Where can I get an Arden Hills gift basket? (Answer: Make your own damn basket). My question: Who purchases Arbor Mist? Answer: Suckers like me, alcoholic My Little Pony dolls, and daiquiri lovers too lazy to bust out the blender.

Jessica Armbruster: Smells like Cherry Chapstick

Mike Kooiman: Or Lipsmackers.

Matt Snyders: Cherry 7-Up.

MK: I have a confession, I used to drink this in college.

JA: (sadly) Me too.

Ben Palosaari: They should use this for communion wine.

Nate Patrin: This tastes like raw bread dough.

JA: No, it doesn’t. You should never be a food critic, dude.

BP: I can see why women drink this by the bottle out by the pool.

Ward Rubrecht: This is only 6% alcohol.

MK: My objection is that I can’t taste the alcohol.

JA: I know! I think it's because we’ve been doing 15% and higher stuff so now we’re totally immune to something with a repsectable amount of alcohol.

Andrea Myers: This tastes like flat Shasta.

WR: I could get so fucked up on this because I would drink it like soda.

AM: This is definitely for rosee people.

WR: I am one of those people.

JA: I have to say though, this doesn’t taste like white zinfandel nor does it taste like exotic fruits.

WR: Who cares!

BP: This is sweet and nice.

JA: I think someone should use that in a Craig’s List ad: I’m sweet and nice.

(pause)

JA: And I will fuck you up if you have too much of me.