KFC offers free chicken for return of Col. Sanders statue

​Seems even five hundred actual dollars wouldn't be enough to woo back the Kentucky thieves who made off with a bronze bust of Colonel Sanders this week, let alone the $500-worth of free chicken the restaurant is offering in hopes of recouping the statue. The whole thing is pretty much straight out of The Onion.

"It's like, this big, his whole head. It's really detailed, all the features and everything," the manager of the victimized KFC said following the theft. "Some employees were in the dining room when four young guys came in... When she came back to the dining area, it was gone."

It's doubtful the thieves -- more likely just pranksters -- anticipate doing anything more than adding the bust to their trophy collection of Martian balls and yard gnomes. What kind of resale value does a Col. Sanders bust fetch anyway? Who would dare go into a pawn shop with the thing?

"It is not yet known whether the $500 reward extends to both original recipe and extra crispy, or whether or not they will charge extra for all white meat," reports the Consumerist. Straight out of The Onion ...