Top 10 foods you should never eat on a first date

Categories: The Lists

Hoping for a successful date? Don't order spaghetti
A first date can be a nightmare of anxiety. You want to make a good impression, so you agonize over what to wear, or you rehearse intelligent things to say. So for God's sake don't ruin it all by ordering some foolish food at dinner that is likely to make you a source of comedy or embarrassment for the rest of the night. What are these danger foods, you ask?

We've helpfully compiled a list of the Top 10 foods that any sensible person should avoid when dining with a new companion. And don't let the title of this post fool you. These rules are in force for every meal until you and your partner first hook up, and they apply just as much to business meetings.

10. Spaghetti
Yes, we all saw Lady and the Tramp, but that was a cartoon and they were dogs. In the real world, spaghetti is a romantic deal killer. There's nothing remotely sexy about watching you Hoover up wayward strands of pasta or listening to the constant screech of your fork against spoon or plate. And by the end of the meal, that hot outfit you're wearing is guaranteed to be splattered with flecks of tomato-basil sauce. You still want pasta? Order the ravioli.

9. Soup
No matter how delicious, it's a dating disaster. Like spaghetti, it's impossible to eat gracefully: the slurping, the backsplash. Good lord, if you want to make a fool of yourself just stick the flatware up your nose and be done with it. When your server asks, "Soup or salad?" the answer is salad. Always.

8. Veal
There's nothing difficult or embarrassing about eating veal. The problem is it's made from calves raised in crates the size of a shoebox. Depending on the politics of your date, ordering that osso buco is basically like saying, "I believe in torturing baby farm animals." It's a conversation starter, sure. But not a conversation you want to have.

7. Garlic
Here's a surefire way to guarantee your date ends in a handshake instead of a kiss: Order the garlic shrimp. Or the garlic bread. Or the pizza with garlic. Ain't no amount of furtive breath mints gonna mask your stanky breath. Not tonight, and probably not till Tuesday.

6. Watermelon, corn on the cob
Admittedly these don't come up much on first dates. But if you're getting together at a picnic or a friend's backyard barbecue, better keep these off the list. In the history of the world no one has eaten a watermelon without looking like a slobbering goof. And if you're looking to impress a date, avoid food that requires you to slide your face across a buttered surface and is guaranteed to lodge kernels so deep into your teeth you can't remove them with hydraulic tools.

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