Match the hoppy beer with its over-the-top marketing copy

Categories: BEER

Hop Heads.jpg
What's the hops?
This Saturday and Sunday, the Blue Nile is devoting all its taps to "that little herb called humulus lupulus," for Hop Heads Only. While we appreciate insanely hoppy beers for their fragrant, grapefruit aromas, and bitter bite, we also dig their brash attitude. According to their marketers, they "stimulate the taste buds in a truly imperial fashion," their "assertive dry-hoppying provides an aromatic telltale nose, indicative of the bitter symphony to follow," and they provide "sessionable splendor for all you hopinistas."

In honor of the Blue Nile event, we've picked out five of the most over-the-top descriptions of the beers in their lineup to see if you can match them with their respective brews:

THE BEERS
1. He'brew Bittersweet Lenny's R.IPA
2. Flying Dog Raging Bitch
3. Surly Furious
4. Flat Earth NorthWest Passage
5. Avery Maharaja

THE DESCRIPTIONS
a) "Much like its namesake, this imperial IPA is regal, intense and mighty. With hops and malts as his servants, he rules both with a heavy hand, flaunting his authority over a deranged amount of hops: tangy, vibrant and pungent along with an insane amount of malted barley - fashioning a dark amber hue and exquisite malt essence."

b) "Two inflammatory words...one wild drink. Nectar imprisoned in a bottle. Let it out. It is cruel to keep a wild animal locked up. Uncap it. Release it...stand back! Wallow in its golden glow in a glass beneath a white foaming head. Remember, enjoying XXX, unleashed, untamed, unbridled - and in heat - is pure GONZO!!"

c) "Like Hops? You'll like this fire-hued beer. This is the beer I have always dreamed of making. This is the beer that would come to mind while spending the last two years tearing down walls, hanging sheetrock, moving kegs, power washing the ceilings, arguing with various agencies, and cutting the water main. Without Golden Promise malt, made by family-owned Simpsons Malt, XXX would just be pissed offed."

d) "The hoppiest IPA in the Midwest at 115 IBU! Once a virtually impassable route through Canada, it has become the "secret" submarine route."

e) "Brewed with an obscene amount of malts and hops. Shocking flavors - far beyond contemporary community standards. We cooked up the straight dope for the growing minyans of our nation's Radical Beer junkies. Judges may not be able to define "Radical Beer," but you'll damn well know it when you taste it. XXX died, officially declared a pauper by the State of California, personally broken and financially bankrupt simply for challenging America's moral hypocrisies with words. The memorial playbill read: "Yes, we killed him. Because he picked on the wrong god." -Directed by, the Courts, the Cops, the Church... and his own self-destructive super ego. Like Noah lying naked and loaded in his tent after the apocalyptic deluge: a witness, a patron saint, a father of what was to come. Sick, Dirty, Prophetic XXX: a scapegoat, a martyr, a supreme inspiration."

Here's a full list of what's on tap at the Blue Nile this weekend:
Avery Maharaja
Deschutes Hop Henge
Flying Dog Raging Bitch
Lagunitas IPA
Flat Earth NorthWest Passage
He'brew Bittersweet
Lenny's R.IPA
Mad River Steelhead Double IPA
Moylan's Hopsickle
New Holland Oak-aged Mad Hatter
New Belgium Ranger IPA
Odell IPA
Rush River Double Bubble
Sierra Nevada Southern Hemisphere Harvest Fresh Hop Ale
Surly Furious
Weyerbacher Double Simcoe


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