The Irish have a reputation as professional drinkers. As well-known experts in the drinking arts, the Irish know that the consumption of alcohol isn't about getting drunk (well, not just about getting drunk) but about tradition, ritual, and camaraderie. And one of the traditions the Irish respect as much as any people on earth is the drinking toast. A round among friends calls for more than just a quick "Cheers!" It requires a bit of eloquence, humor, and even poetry.
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Since we're all honorary Irishmen today, it seems right to carry on the tradition as we hoist our pints. In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here are 10 of the best traditional Irish toasts:
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May your neighbors respect you,
trouble neglect you,
the angels protect you,
and heaven accept you.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the tap be open when it rusts!
Here's to a long life and a merry one,
a quick death and an easy one,
a pretty girl and an honest one,
a cold beer --- and another one!
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows your dead.
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
In Heaven there is no beer, that is why we drink it here.