Top 5 weird royal wedding foods (plus 1 bonus oddity!)

Categories: Weird Food

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"We just want a small affair..."
For those of you living under a rock, you may be surprised to learn that, this weekend, England's Prince William will marry and the world will have a new princess.

For most people who do not spend the majority of their free time watching reruns of Say Yes to the Dress, weddings of people we don't know that well are good for one thing and one thing only: food!

And so the Hot Dish presents some of the more, um, interesting stories about dishes, drinks, and desserts that wedding-crazy Anglophiles from around the globe have whipped up in honor of Will and Kate.

We've already told you about Papa John's royal wedding-themed trainwreck pizza, but they are not the only fast-food giants wading into the madness.

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Dunkin' Donuts: We're synonymous with 'classy'!
​Dunkin' Donuts- Heart-Shaped Donut


Dunkin' Donuts has designed this cute little jelly-filled heart as its contribution to the festivities.  As you can see, the filling is blood red, which almost pushes this one into "creepy" territory.

 

 

 

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Who says tea can't be campy?

William and Kate Tea Bags

Amazon has already sold out of these William and Kate tea bags.  There is, however, one set still available of the original RoyalTea tea bag gift set, which comes with tea bags in the style of those pictured, but featuring the other members of the royal family.  This is the perfect item to fulfill that dream everyone has had at some time in their life: to see the Queen of England taking a jacuzzi in your Earl Grey.

 

Purl London's Specialty Cocktail, Royal Jam

Cocktail bar Purl London has designed a drink called the Royal Jam.  It's meant to encapsulate a swath of British history and flavor in one handy glass.  It's comprised of apple gin, lemon juice, lavender bitters, and strawberry conserve.  It's apparently meant to taste like English Victoria sponge cake and is served with a teapot full of dry ice.  Why?  Who knows?  They're British.  The British have a long history of doing effed-up things to their food.  But it's only $15!

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I thought there already was a drink called 'Liquid Viagra'!
Brewdog Brewery's Royal Virility Performance Beer


Everyone knows that the best part of the wedding is not the wedding at all but the honeymoon.  Hence this genius product, Royal Virility Performance Beer.  It contains 'herbal viagra' [Note: What the hell is that?], Horny Goat Weed, and chocolate.  It's an IPA clocking in at 7.5% alcohol. 

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Kiss Me Kate beer

Castle Rock Brewery's Kiss Me Kate Beer

Not to be outdone, rival British brewer Castle Rock Brewery has released its pale ale crafted to commemorate the occasion, Kiss Me Kate.  The cartoon couple on the bottle are irrefutable proof that this is an elegant and tasteful keepsake that one could pass down to one's grandchildren as a family heirloom.

 

 

"Kate Middleton" Jellybean

This is most assuredly the strangest of all the royal wedding food-related stories on the web.  A young man in England bought a large tin of jellybeans to share with his girlfriend.  When the young lady opened the tin, there on top was this magical simulacrum of the future Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton.  The couple did the only thing that any sane reasonable person could do: They put the charmed candy up for bid on Ebay.

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Can you guess which one is the real Kate?

​If you have plans to watch the wedding this weekend, what treats do you have lined up?  Please feel free to share them in the comments.


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2 comments
Rachel Hutton
Rachel Hutton

Not planning to watch, but a few British food faves include PG Tips tea--Mom stocked me up at a metro Cost Plus World Market before it went out of business, but you can find it at Lunds/Byerly's--and, of course, butter-saturated crumpets! There's a good packaged brand at the Wedge, but Surdyk's currently has homemade ones in stock. Have always wanted to try the Joy of Cooking recipe but haven't gotten around to it yet...

Michael Mattson
Michael Mattson

I don't know if you watch 'The Middle', Rachel, but I'm reminded of a joke from a recent episode:

Wife: You ate my scones!?!Husband: Relax, I did you a favor. They tasted stale.Wife: They're British scones! They're supposed to taste stale!

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