Is SuperValu anti-Christmas?
|Wait--we thought the Grinch was green...|
The shadowy enemy is hard to identify: They hide their evil intentions behind the very convenient excuses of being "multicultural" or "inclusive" or even "not being religious zealots." But, lucky for America, the American Family Association is watching out for us.
And according to the AFA, one Minnesota company can expect coal in its stocking this year.
Now, the most important thing to understand is the stringent and deeply scientific method by which American Family Association creates its annual "Naughty or Nice?" list. First, they look at random retailers who have some sort of national presence and brand-name recognition. Then they collect marketing material that each company releases around the holiday season. Then some Mensa member with a Ph.D. in comparative theology counts the number of times the word "Christmas" appears in said marketing.
So maybe it's not such an onus for Eden Prairie-based SuperValu, owners of Cub Foods and other grocery store chains, to be labeled as "Naughty" this year by the AFA. After all, it's in good company, including Barnes & Noble, the GAP, and Victoria's Secret (well, we would hope they would be 'naughty').
|Santa WILL be visiting these fine retailers this year.|
Some Minnesota-based retailers did make AFA's "Nice" list this year, most notably Best Buy and Target.
Thank God. We were worried Santa might just direct his reindeer to fly nonstop from Hudson to Sioux Falls and skip us all entirely.