Is SuperValu anti-Christmas?

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Wait--we thought the Grinch was green...
For those people out there who don't make a habit of watching paid political ads on YouTube, you may be surprised to learn that America is currently at war. No, we're not talking about the drawn-out wars in far-off lands like Iraq or Afghanistan. We're talking about the war right here at home--against Christmas, of all things.

The shadowy enemy is hard to identify: They hide their evil intentions behind the very convenient excuses of being "multicultural" or "inclusive" or even "not being religious zealots."  But, lucky for America, the American Family Association is watching out for us.

And according to the AFA, one Minnesota company can expect coal in its stocking this year.

Now, the most important thing to understand is the stringent and deeply scientific method by which American Family Association creates its annual "Naughty or Nice?" list. First, they look at random retailers who have some sort of national presence and brand-name recognition. Then they collect marketing material that each company releases around the holiday season. Then some Mensa member with a Ph.D. in comparative theology counts the number of times the word "Christmas" appears in said marketing.

That's it.

So maybe it's not such an onus for Eden Prairie-based SuperValu, owners of Cub Foods and other grocery store chains, to be labeled as "Naughty" this year by the AFA. After all, it's in good company, including Barnes & Noble, the GAP, and Victoria's Secret (well, we would hope they would be 'naughty').

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Santa WILL be visiting these fine retailers this year.
However, it is refreshing to see someone call SuperValu out on its blatant rejection of Christmas, especially considering all of its ubiquitous advertising for Chanukkah latke mix and Kwanzaa cookies.

Some Minnesota-based retailers did make AFA's "Nice" list this year, most notably Best Buy and Target.

Thank God. We were worried Santa might just direct his reindeer to fly nonstop from Hudson to Sioux Falls and skip us all entirely.

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3 comments
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Lucas Anderson
Lucas Anderson

WWJD?  Include Santa Claus in his advertisements, of course.

Dan Frye
Dan Frye

Finally! I can't wait until a couple of years from now when the AFA can unfurl that "Mission Accomplished" banner after this war is won!

Guy
Guy

I am so god damned sick of organizations co-opting the word "family" in order to push their bullshit on everyone. Nobody in my family gives a shit about "the war on Christmas."

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