10 reasons why your barista hates you

Categories: Coffee

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Your barista hates you. We're sure that became clear the first time you ordered a no-foam latte and didn't tip, but it's worth repeating. Since Hot Dish cares about your well-being and wants to foster healthy relationships between you and the people you deal with in the service industry, we've compiled a list of reasons why your barista would rather eat glass than see your face. This is your chance to learn from mistakes!

See also:
The 10 best dishes for $1 in the Twin Cities

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10. Because you spill milk and honey all over the creamer station and don't clean it up.

We're not sure if you knew this, but honey is sticky. When you spill it all over the table and try to clean it up with a dry napkin, the napkin sticks to the honey like feathers to tar. Pouring creamer on the mess doesn't make it much better, but, hell, you've already gone this far. While you're at it, be sure to drop your straw wrapper in the spilled creamer, pour half your sugar in your drink and the other half on the table, and defecate on the floor. We're more than happy to clean up after you.


9. Because you and your four friends order four different kinds of smoothies while we're dealing with lines out the door.

We know it's sweltering outside and coffee blended with ice and powdered chocolate shit sounds like heaven in your mouth, but it's crazy busy and you've chosen the most time-consuming and obnoxious drink on the menu. The fact that our blended drinks are kind of gross and contain God-knows-how-many ingredients is less concerning to us than how long it takes to wash the blender. Do us all a favor and stick with Starbucks Frappuccinos -- they're the only reason we have these blended atrocities on our menus in the first place.

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8. Because you have no idea what you're ordering and then yell at us about it when it's not what you wanted.

Hmm, the macchiato has a nice Italian ring to it, doesn't it? When you placed your order, we warned you that it wasn't the same sugary nightmare that Starbucks blasphemously refers to as a macchiato, but did you listen? Of course not. You wordlessly watched us pull your double shot, whip up a dollop of foam, and gently spoon it on top of your shots. As soon as we handed you the drink, you stuck your tongue towards the bitter center, turned up your nose, and handed it right back. "What the hell is this?" We told you what it was. You insisted on ordering it anyway. This. Is. Not. Starbucks.



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125 comments
justinwilliamanderso
justinwilliamanderso

..every person who ethier deals with customer service, hospitality, sales, anything dealing with people youre gonna have issues deal with it. im a cell phone rep shall I name like 20 reasons why I hate certain types of customers nahh just gotta deal with it comes with the job.

eyetod
eyetod

(from a "barista" job description) 


The barista is responsible for serving all products with friendly, individualized attention towards each customer. He/she is also responsible for educating customers about our premium coffees and teas. The barista fulfills any other duties the store manager, assistant manager or shift supervisor assigns and represents (insert coffee shop name) in a professional manner.


Product:

  • Ensures that all customers are educated on our products and services.
  • Maintains the highest quality, consistent product standards.
  • Follows all Company drink recipes and procedures.
  • Passes monthly re-certifications in a timely manner.
  • Develops an understanding of coffee and tea regions and the various differences in flavor and blends.
  • Begins to educate themselves on the various types of coffee, tea products, blends and roasts.
  • Proficiently prepares blended and cold drinks provided by the store.


Service:

  • Greets all customers with fast, friendly, personalized service and develops a rapport with customers by learning their names, favorite drinks and food items.
  • Verbally receives and calls back customer orders in a friendly manner.
  • Reports all customer complaints to manager on duty.
  • Responds proactively to prevent customer service situations.
  • Accurately rings sales orders into cash register and counts back change to customers in a courteous and friendly manner.
  • Answers telephone in a courteous and friendly manner including, but not limited to, giving store greeting, directions to store location, and receiving and filling customer orders.
  • Answers customer questions regarding coffee blends, preparation, and product freshness.
  • Weighs, grinds and packs coffee per customers’ orders according to Company guidelines.
  • Sells and serves baked goods and miscellaneous food items to customers.
  • Maintains efficient, friendly service.

Environment:

  • Restocks shelves when necessary.
  • Routinely cleans the bar area, floor, windows and grinders, and takes out trash, etc.
  • Assists in the distribution of weekly shipments.
  • Reports potential safety hazards to the manager on duty.
  • Reports all employee accidents to the manager on duty.
  • Informs the manager on duty of any operational inconsistencies.

Requirements, Qualifications & Physical Demands:

  • Entry level position.
  • Runs errands, when needed, to pick up supplies and/or product.
  • May work special events, as needed.
  • Maintains positive Company morale and professional attitude.
  • Must be able to work overtime, as needed.
  • Excellent verbal and written skills.
  • Well-organized and detail-oriented.
  • Minimum high school diploma or equivalent.
  • Regularly required to stand, walk, talk and hear.
  • Frequently required to use hand to finger motions, handle or feel objects, reach with hands and arms.
  • Regularly required to lift and/or move items up to 30 pounds.
  • Must be able to adjust vision to both day and night lighting, and be able to focus on distant and close-range projects. 
  • Regularly required to handle food and hot beverages.
for a majority of the reasons customers are hated is listed in the job description(s) with out customers there would be no barista'ing for you..  

Mark Ollig
Mark Ollig

She reminds me of Miranda Sings from YouTube.

Tabby Curry
Tabby Curry

I always tip when I can. If I don't have cash and there isn't a tip line to fill in I feel awful!

eatereater
eatereater

10 reasons why I hate "baristas":

1. Bad attitudes

2. Lazy whiners (see #1)

3. Stuck in 1995 with the frickin tats and fashion sense.  But worse, apparently unaware of the fact that a bunch of adults were already running around with tats all over back when these baristas were in diapers. 

4. Self absorbed to a fault

5. Hungover too frequently

6. Incapable of acknowledging that they are SERVERS who work in the SERVICE industry.

7. Delusional to think they are the only humans in town paying off a student loan.

8. Did I mention the hideous, dated, Urban Outfitters circa 1996 look they all sport?   Doesn't matter, worth repeating.

9. Unfortunate hair to go with the unfortunate fashion sensibilities. 

10. Eye-roll inducing taste in music.

Ginny Albrecht
Ginny Albrecht

Everyone complaining because they don't wanna make your extra sugary creamy bs probably orders creamy sugary bs. Just order a damn coffee. Its $1.50 and saves you the fat, stomach ache and the embarrassment of being a 4O something year old that can't handle their coffee.

Joe Halvarson
Joe Halvarson

"We are not a meth lab." This made me snort a little bit of black coffee.

Joe Finnegan
Joe Finnegan

I have to stay at my job until 5pm whether it's convenient or fun for me or not, and some weeks I have to put in upwards of 60 hours just to stay on top of my work load: if I can do that, you can pour coffee for 4 hours before you go take up space at Hidden Beach for the rest of the day. Fuck off, shitty pages.

Rami Odeh
Rami Odeh

Why do people care so much what their baristi think of them so much? Be a decent human being and nice, order what you want and who cares if they like it or not. Just make me my coffee!

apologist
apologist

A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep.

Kat Fitzgerald
Kat Fitzgerald

Wow. So because ur busy I have to not order what I want? Taking my tip $$ elsewhere.

Jenny Gawthrop
Jenny Gawthrop

# 2. All time worst for barista & the people behind in line. Please be kind to your barista and hang up the phone. At least until after your half caf, skim, triple shot, two pump sugar-free cinnamon, two pump vanilla, no foam, extra hot order is on the cup.

farlan4hope
farlan4hope

Hey guys. Lets take it easy. I often go to my favorite local café (Dunn Bros in Uptown lol) and have a great experience. There is a girl who baristas who is really smart and has lots of really unique and political tattoos. she showed me some of her burns that she got from those machines, and it's pretty brutal. I tipped her 50% that day just because I felt bad. Also, she's an aquarius. Anyway, my point is that it's just nice to see people doing a good job in our economy and we should show them good-old American kindness and generosity. Remember, UNITED we stand. 

Jessica Steele
Jessica Steele

8+ years in the industry it does happen, a lot of this I do agree with because it's funny. There are these people that look like baristas or servers are under them. If you do come in and order 6 different blended drinks and some with being custom....you are impatient...then do not tip on this $20 order....yes I will scowl and talk about you when you leave (away from customers) *shrugs* it happens but it's a fun job and coffee compensation is pretty awesome

Pamela Hulleman
Pamela Hulleman

So to summarize, they are mad when we spill, order coffee from the menu, mispronounce a word, ask a question about a service advertised on the front window (free wi-fi), order coffee (again), and because we arrive during the posted business hours…and #1 is because we don’t tip this behavior. Perhaps baristas should review #2-#10 and maybe they can figure out what causes #1.

Trevor Rohwer
Trevor Rohwer

Do your job n quit bitching... or get a real job.

tootsie
tootsie

Another "GRRREAT" blog post by CP. A good example of why they're known as Shitty Pages among some circles. But my personal favorite part of this is the pictures and how they apparently weren't allowed in any coffee shops to have them taken.

Metairie Hecht
Metairie Hecht

Why would a barista get upset at having to make multiple or interesting drink concoctions!?! Wrong line of work if that's the case, don'tya think? Are we supposed to tip for a bad attitude,?

greentidebluesky
greentidebluesky

#9
We hate you because we are a popular place (or we are understaffed) and you are ordering what you want. Hmmmm....Not quite a good reason to hate the customer.

Rosemary Erb
Rosemary Erb

Whoa! I'll have to save the comments for another time! #8 is a running joke at most indie shops anyway.....

Elisa Maria
Elisa Maria

I had a guy at the Nicollet spyhouse take the $1 I presented for my soy milk upcharge and slam it into his tip jar meanly.... Fuck that place!

ianroyal
ianroyal

Maybe companies would be better off paying more (and thus charging more), than relying on tips. Paying people a shitty wage, then guilt-tripping the customers isn't fair at all. Seriously, what kind of dick thought this was a good idea? "We'll pay you the lowest we can, but then it's up to the customers to pay the rest of your wage." We'd never have parent tip teachers, or the public tip police, so why have it be the norm for bartenders, baristas, and *some* restaurants? 

Kevin Hurley
Kevin Hurley

Strangely it appears she only engaged talking to me. Am I really that much of an asshole?

Cathy Harty Kight
Cathy Harty Kight

6. Because you assume we're IT people. Yes, we have Internet. Yes, there's a password. Yes, that password is probably "croissant," "coffeebean," or "likeusonfacebook." But no, we do not know why the Internet is down. Were you on PornHub again? Are you trying to download the entire West Wing series? We'll stick a pen in the little reset hole for you, but our computer knowledge stops there. We make specialty coffee drinks. We get drunk off whiskey and read Dostoyevsky while pondering the utter senselessness of life. We don't know why Netflix isn't working. Go home.

Rachel Danger
Rachel Danger

Hey look, adults bullying each other on the internet!

Carson Kinney
Carson Kinney

Don't put it on the menu if they can't make it.

boyer687
boyer687

Yes actually, if you can cook and love food my work is hiring. I'm moving on to greener pastures so we need a sous chef.

deardiary13
deardiary13

@eatereater Most of these are cliches. I know a lot of baristas, and none of them are described in your little bitch fit. However, all of the reasons for a barista to hate a customer are true. But that's alright, you just go on being butthurt because you probably fit just about every reason on that list.

deardiary13
deardiary13

You have to stay at your job until 5? You poor baby. Maybe you should trade in your job for being a barista for a week? Oh, and by the way, they aren't 4 hour shifts.

CinBlueland
CinBlueland

Actually it should be a social norm to hang up the phone when you have to interact with any service. Or other people in general. If you put up your finger and tell me to wait while you carry on your conversation I'm simply going to walk away.

Alirox
Alirox

Don't you think our witty, insightful comments are lost because we don't post through Derpbook, d-pro?

eatereater
eatereater

So a customer not cleaning up some spilled sugar when it isn't their job to do so in the slightest since it is the job of the people working in the establishment, is actually something you think constitutes a reason for barista to be a petulant child?  ha.  good one.  as you may have noticed from the majority of comments, we all think you are whiny brats who need to shut it and do your service industry job.  

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