Top 10 reasons why your server hates you

Categories: Advice, Food

waiter.jpg
Photo by Lynn via Flickr
Elevate Research, a new start-up out of St. Paul, is launching an app that allows patrons to rank their dining experiences using customized customer satisfaction surveys while receiving real-time responses from management. Unfortunately, the app only benefits customers and owners, leaving servers without a say.

If servers could fill out comment cards about customers, they'd reach biblical lengths within a few days. We've edited that down and complied a list of 10 reasons why your server hates you.

See also:
Top 10 reasons why your barista hates you

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Photo by MT_bulli via Flickr

10. You expect things on your birthday.

Happy birthday, person your server has never met. No, your server does not want to sing you happy birthday. No, he won't be making an exception and publicly humiliating himself for you. And since you asked, no, he will not waive the price of your slice of cake or margarita just because you were born once.

9. You modify everything.

Substituting fries for a salad is one thing, but when you demand so many alterations that you end up with a Frankensteinian version of the original, you should probably just stay home. Chefs spend long hours tinkering with flavor combinations before settling on specific recipes. Trust them. Plus, preparing your special tomato-, onion-, and olive-free meal slows down the kitchen, which is probably why you and 10 other tables are complaining about how long the food is taking. If you want a custom dish that's not on the menu, there's one place you can always count on: your own kitchen.

8. You demand for the AC to be turned down, the blinds to be closed, the lights to be dimmed, and/or the music volume to be lowered.

By the time lowering the AC has any actual effect, you will no longer be in the restaurant. In this situation, your server will most likely lie and say she turned it down to provide the illusion that you are, in fact, the most important diner at the restaurant. If the music is too loud, it's not because your server is secretly stealing away to be the restaurant DJ for the evening. If any of the above is truly bothering you, tell a manager. Your server probably doesn't have much of a say in the matter.

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Photo by Reno Tahoe via Flickr

7. You don't order anything.

Accompanying a friend to lunch on a full stomach is sometimes understandable, but when you and six friends take the biggest booth and only one of you buys food, you're effectively robbing your server of some serious dough. Plus, you're probably the type to linger for an hour over a two dollar cup of coffee, for which you tip 50 cents.


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98 comments
asprings131
asprings131

"We're tipping in loose change because we can."

Tipping in loose change is better than no tip at all. HOW RIDICULOUS can you get not to APPRECIATE MONEY? I appreciated anything extra that was given to me even though I was counter help at a donut shop/diner back in 1998-2002 off and on a little over 2yrs worth, I made min. wage at least plus tips.  I still appreciated when ANYONE would give me ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY.  10 cents, even back then wasn't much and couldn't buy anything by itself, but you know what, I STILL TRULY APPRECIATED IT  that it was better than NOTHING at all.

What is it with ENTITLEMENT today with servers like you, huh? It's like if someone gave you $10 in change on a $40 check, you would just give it back? Seriously, I doubt that and you know it.


"Now that you've brought the check, we need you to split it 10 ways."

Maybe you are talking about people that change their minds, but if you aren't, then as a server you can ask at the greeting how the check is going to be. I just recently was in a party of 9 and before getting drink orders the server asked how the check was going to be.  That's right, the *WAITRESS* ASKED US, NOT the other way around.

I do fully understand and would be pissed if they would change their minds, THAT I will agree with you with there.

 " Generally speaking, they'll do everything in their power to improve your dining experience if you voice a complaint."

In most situations, you shouldn't have to voice your complaint, because our server should have noticed things that were obviously wrong **********BEFORE*********** they left the kitchen with my food.

 "Before ordering each of the 15 members of your party a glass of water they probably won't drink, think about how much work your server could and should be doing in that time."

Same goes for servers that before giving refills without asking first, you should *ASK* if the customers want that instead of wasting time.  It goes BOTH WAYS!

Don't go get me my check if you didn't ask if it was OK to bring it.  My husband and I have ordered bar drinks AFTER desserts as well as to-go orders after a dessert before as well. Also, some servers assume you ask for a box that means you want your check that you are full and don't want dessert, which a lot of times it's the 100% OPPOSITE that we are saving ROOM for dessert by packing up our leftovers.

 

asprings131
asprings131

" 8. You demand for the AC to be turned down, the blinds to be closed, the lights to be dimmed, and/or the music volume to be lowered."

Asking isn't demanding first off. Secondly, if it's so cold you aren't comfortable, and others are cold as well complaining, I don't think that's a really unreasonable request.  The music lowered, well if you can't have any conversation with the person or people you are with and it hurts, yes, I will and have asked for them to turn it down, which the few times I have they have done so with no problem.


Asking the blinds to be closed is because no one wants light shining in their face or if you are sitting at a booth by a window sometimes it's really bright in one spot. I mean who wants to squint inside a restaurant?

It's our tip money, we should be able to have things how *WE* want it, so the customer rules the restaurant, NOT anyone else. Without us, remember, you wouldn't have a job.



 

asprings131
asprings131

"9. You modify everything."

I have EVERY RIGHT to modify what I want. YOU SOUND SO LAZY, LAZY AS ALL HELL TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS! If you don't want to serve people, don't be a server then.  Seriously.  

It's my tip money, I can spend it how I please CONTROL FREAK LAZY IDIOT!

 

asprings131
asprings131

"When your server is introducing him or herself, don't interrupt with your drink order."

Since it's ***OUR TIP MONEY****,*********WE RUN THE SHOW NOT TO DELAY OUR FOOD AND DRINKS, NOT YOU CONTROL FREAK!!  Don't tell us how to spend *******OUR TIP MONEY YOU WANT********. If you want someone's money that is VOLUNTARILY GIVEN, you might want to stop to think "GEE, I SHOULD DO THINGS HOW **THEY** WANT** if I want their money", don't ya think???

You don't rule ANYTHING! WE RULE HOW WE WANT THINGS FOR OUR TIP MONEY! 

 "As a wise restaurant owner once said, "It's just dinner.""

It's just a stiff or 10%. HOW ABOUT THAT ONE FOR YA, HUH???

 "All of the items on this list revolve around entitlement."

Of course since ************OUR TIP MONEY ENTITLES US TO GET THINGS HOW WE WANT IT***********.   WE HAVE EVERY LEGAL RIGHT TO BE ENTITLED TO GOOD, CARING, and NON-LAZY SERVICE.

asprings131
asprings131

Continued:

1. Once, we had a Red Lobster waitress had our 2 entrées on the tray as well as 2 side salads that were for a couple that wasn’t even there when we ordered. Anyway, instead of bypassing their table to hand us ours first since WE DID ORDER FIRST(common sense would tell you that it takes more time to cook food than it does to fix a side salad anyways even if it wasn’t our server that delivered our food, but it was our waitress that delivered our food), she decided to hand them theirs first off the tray. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT IS IN THE SERVER’S CONTROL TO HAND OUT THINGS OFF THE SAME TRAY IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS ORDERED IN!!

2. Once, we had a waitress that greeted us which we ordered an appetizer as well as our drinks when greeted. I saw she tucking in chairs at empty tables and pretty much doing everything but coming back to get our entrée order. Well, I found out what happened. She brought out our appetizer and when I asked she said that she wanted to wait to put in our entrée orders. The thing is, that delayed us more by not at least coming to GET our orders. That way, when the appetizer was ready, we wouldn’t have gotten delayed eating our appetizer since we then had to give our entrée orders when we could have given our entrée orders WELL BEFORE THAT and we would have gotten our entrées faster due to that she could have just left to put our entrée orders into the computer after delivering our appetizer instead of taking time to order when our appetizer was sitting in front of us. The point is, SHE delayed our entrées as well as to be able to start eating our appetizer because she could have at least TAKEN our entrée orders and then when our appetizer would have been brought out, could have immediately gone to the computer to put our entrée orders in.What she did was make us wait while our hot appetizer was sitting in front of us, we couldn’t touch it, because we had to order our entrées and could have done that wayyy before that. She also delayed our entrées because we had to spend extra time AFTER our appetizer arrived to give her our entrée orders when we could have done that wayyyy before that.

3. Once, we had a waitress that assumed that because they were out of raspberry topping for a cheesecake slice when we had ordered dessert that she’d bring us strawberry. Turns out, she knew when she put in the order that the computer had it the manager told us. So she did it on PURPOSE to be so lazy and uncaring as to not come to ask if we wanted the next closest thing. We didn’t, we sent it back, so she had MORE WORK. Also, she didn’t even think about what if someone is allergic to strawberries. I just honestly can’t believe someone would do that. If they are out of something, common sense would be to come to see if the next closest thing is ok. Not everyone wants the next closest thing. So it wasn’t like it was just getting the order wrong by accident or by not verifying the written order with what she was bringing or putting in the order wrong by accident, this was on PURPOSE to be LAZY and to ASSUME. I didn’t know at first that she did that. I thought at first she just was that stupid(or truly just messed up(highly doubt it)) to bring us strawberries on top of a cheesecake when we ordered raspberries.

4. Your server delays coming to get your order or delays you ordering due to personal conversation. We have had that before as well. Once, we had a waiter that we didn’t know after waiting 15 mins. for a table on Mardi Gras day ask us BEFORE we ORDERED ANYTHING “How’s y’all’s Mardi Gras” “Go to any parades.” See, I don’t mind chit chat with a stranger, but be considerate to do it AFTER we have our orders into the computer so you don’t take up our time. 

We have also had servers not come to get our order due to playing around. Sometimes taking a long time or a longer time has A LOT to do with the server: My husband and I have had 3 TIMES where servers FORGOT to put food orders into the computer. We also have 6 times servers forget to get bar drinks from the bar. Once a waitress forgot to put in a bar drink into the computer. Two of the 3 times it was an appetizer and the servers ADMITTED doing so. The third time was a cup of bisque which is normally served before a meal just like a side salad is. My husband and I also have had delays due to that the servers delayed putting orders into the computer when they COULD have such as deciding to buss a table first or decide instead of a mini-greet(I’ll be right with you all), one waiter I saw decided to take a party of 6 people’s drink/appetizer orders instead of putting in our food orders into the computer. I can understand if they call you over, but if they don’t, you should be putting that order into the computer not delaying our food. The longer you wait to put in orders, the LONGER WE WAIT!! So truly think about that MOST of the time when you wait a LONG TIME for your food or bar drinks even, it could be the server’s fault. 9 times out of 10, your server had *SOMETHING* to do with the delay in most cases! That’s the GOD’S TRUTH!

If something is coated too heavily in bbq sauce if I ordered it with LIGHT bbq sauce, you aren't BLIND if you bring me my food and took my order, ARE YOU??? If you bring it to me obviously wrong without touching the food you can clearly SEE something is wrong, that's on *YOU*! Anything that is wrong with the food that you don't have to touch the food to notice it's wrong if it makes it to the table, it's not the kitchen staff's fault at all, NOT ONE BIT!


PLEASE STOP LYING TO THE PUBLIC! STOP LYING!!!

asprings131
asprings131

"If the food took a long time, came out cold, or was coated too heavily in barbecue sauce, it's not your server's fault."

Actually ALL of those VERY WELL CAN BE THE SERVER'S FAULT and MOST OF THE TIME IS(except for the cold food most of the time the kitchen staff didn't warm up the food enough, but the others you are VERY WRONG ABOUT HERE'S WHY:

Ask yourself these questions as a server:

1. WHEN do you put in my order? Do you wait or do you go put it in immediately after taking it? If you are double sat or triple sat, you can still go put in each order into the computer after taking each table’s order. By not doing that can result in a much longer wait and that would be YOUR FAULT.

2. FORGETTING to put in an order. My husband and I have experienced this for REAL that servers ADMITTED to our faces they have FORGOTTEN TO PUT ORDERS IN. All of them were appetizers, bar drinks, and a cup of soup.

3. Did you put in the order CORRECTLY into the computer? Have had many times servers ADMITTED to our faces they did not do that correctly. Have had wrong entrées before due to our server putting in the order wrong. Have had wrong bar drinks too due to the server putting in the order wrong.

4. Did you FORGET ANYTHING I ORDERED such as a SIDE DISH? We have had this happen a number of times as well.

5. Did you DROP anything I ordered? Luckily, we have not had this happen, but I have seen a server once drop some fries from a plate before and I did have a waiter spill some margarita martini when pouring into a martini glass. In other words, it is possible, not likely, but very possible.

6. Did you remember to GET my food? We have had a server do that before. Also, we have had a number of servers forget bar drinks.

7. Did you bring out my food obviously correctly if you bring my food out? Do you realize how many times OUR OWN SERVER brings out DUH mistakes like the side dish is wrong, the entrée is wrong, something obvious is not correct bacon that isn’t covered up isn’t extra, extra crispy when you can clearly notice that it isn’t without touching anything, etc.? Every DUH mistake you bring out is YOUR FAULT I am waiting for what I did order by you wasting my time bringing me the wrong item or wrongly prepared item or forgot something. While we all make mistakes, I would have to say a good 90% of the time, servers NEVER COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE FOOD, because they are TOO LAZY and DON’T CARE!!

8.Servers DO wait to put in entrée orders when appetizers, side salads, or cups of soup are ordered. THAT *IS* THE GOD’S TRUTH! Sometimes it’s TOO LONG THEY WAIT! If it’s another server, it still doesn’t make it the kitchen staff’s fault I have the wrong side dish for example since that is something that’s obvious. It’s either my server that didn’t put in my order correctly or this other server that didn’t compare the ticket to the food or that this other server did compare the ticket to the food, but just missed it(HIGHLY UNLIKELY, but possible).

9. WHEN do you come to GET MY ORDER? That part is covered in #2 below.

10.WHEN do you DECIDE to LET ME ORDER? That part is covered in #4 below.

11. WHEN do you decide to DELIVER MY FOOD? That part is covered in #1 below.

12. Do you, because they are out of something, decide to assume everyone wants the closest thing so you do the ordering for me? That part is covered in #3 below.

Continued next post:

Luke Cardenas
Luke Cardenas

I'm incredibly tired of seeing these blogs so instead im going to make my own. The title you ask? "Top ten reasons why your server sucks and your customers hate you" Number one on the list...You complain about working an entry level job.

Kathie Carlson
Kathie Carlson

Been a server for over 25 yrs -ITS NOT ALWAYS THE CUSTOMER, ITS THE SERVER THAT DOES A SHITTY JOB AND STILL EXPECTS A HUGE TIP.. HERES ONE CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE SERVERS/BARTENDERS!!

Aaron Nelson
Aaron Nelson

Every sever in my restaurant made at least 7.50, if they make two buck an hour in tips they are doing better than most people in the state. Much less my kitchen staff. Do some servers deserve to make bank off tips? Yes. Do they need it to survive more than anyone else in the country? Not by a long shot. This sense of entitlement needs to stop.

davester67
davester67

while I agree whole heartedly with all the complaints, I do feel the one about children is valid to a point. Those who have no children are usually quick to condemn parents and their children in restaurants. Also children need to learn manners in a restaurant setting, and in such a setting kids will make mistakes because (surprise!) they're kids, NOT adults. Although I admit some children should probably not be present in some settings and some parents can use poor judgment, overall there needs to be some degree of tolerance on the part of the server. Remember the child is getting impressions of you that will cast a long shadow later on if it is negative. 

Tess'ailene Sunshine
Tess'ailene Sunshine

Those people earn more per hour. Servers are taxed on making 10% tips, even if they don't get any.

Tess'ailene Sunshine
Tess'ailene Sunshine

I guess that means there is a big problem with the way customers act, otherwise there would be no grounds for the complaining ;-)

Justin Drieling
Justin Drieling

We all do stuff we don't like at our jobs. Seriously stop complaining.

laxx1559
laxx1559

Restaurants have reinforced patrons shitty and entitled behavior, and the server pays for it.  I have seen patrons do and say ridiculous things, and the manager seems to reward the guest for being so abusive and unruly.

Pamela Tagney
Pamela Tagney

This is an article that confirms my idea that everyone (well everyone that dines out) should work a position in the restaurant service industry at least once in their lifetime. There are so many logistics that most diners are so blind to and unaware of as to why things may not always go their way. Small modifications, no prob, but keep them simple (no LTO, easy. No truffle oil in the sauce on your pasta? Not so much. Right before closing? Eh, slippery slope. At least as a patron, give the staff the common courtesy to order quickly and yes, ask for the tab...we're not trying to rush you, but there's probably a laundry list of side work we still need to do to finish at a reasonable time. Kids? Like em, but at least have a couple test runs at your own home on how to behave when eating out. Think of some of the behaviors your kids may do in a restaurant, and ask yourself if you would allow them to act that way at home. Just sayin...and if you do let them act that way at home? Then yes, tip your server like a Rockefeller. If there's no busser they will probably be the one on their hands and knees trying to pick ground french fries and hot dog off the floor, before their table is able to be sat again.

Madison Allen
Madison Allen

This list is not talking about onions or allergies. But people who request a Cobb salad with no chicken, no eggs, and no avocado. Sub the chicken for salmon, and add some green peppers, but no skin on the peppers. Ask for 2 dressings mixed together and on the side. They are basically creating their own dish that isn't on the menu and usually the kitchen can not accommodate.

Dee Finkelson
Dee Finkelson

IM A SERVER & I LOVE MY JOB. NO COMPLAIN. BUSY, NOT BUSY, WHO CARES. 1 NITE I MADE 250, 1 NITE I MADE 20, ITS OK. IM GRATEFUL FOR THE JOB.

frenchymcdub
frenchymcdub

all this sympathy for servers and not one word about the cooks.  servers, on average, make double what the cooks do (if not more) and yet there is this great push to make their job into this herculean effort.  for every overworked server think about the poor schmucks in back making a fraction of their earnings, and doing what is easily a more difficult and dirty job.

carlasutra40
carlasutra40

I was a server. Beyond coming in at 5 til closing the rest of this is bull spit. I knew what my job was and i made BANK. THE REST OF THIS IS WHY YOU DIDN'T GET A GREAT TIP!

Mary Aho
Mary Aho

Seems more like the top ten reasons why your tip is lower.

Joseph R Liptak
Joseph R Liptak

If you don't want me to modify my breakfast, than don't put green peppers on every damn meal. In the breakfast menu.......

Edward Brian Johnson
Edward Brian Johnson

in the heydey of the eighties, waiting was a breeze, and I made, big easy money, and nobody complained. I remember thinking I could do it " naked, stabbed and stoned" When the awesome economy tanked, so did the costomers attitude. Everything was an issue. everything was reason to bitch, complain, want a something free now, and leave a shitty tip. So glad im out of the industry.,

tinkrrrbell
tinkrrrbell

I like how everyone gets so upset because they're the jerk who "creates their own menu" and then they completely ignore the rest of the article. Everything stated here is correct, and an owner worth their salt will back up their staff up. They've seen it all - they know when you're being a jerk and which servers are not as good as others. 

Sierra Fern Milker
Sierra Fern Milker

I have to say, yes this list is pretty stupid. Just be a good customer. But anyway, asking to have onions removed is better than just picking it off and having them throw perfectly good onions in the trash :P

apologist
apologist

Top 10 Reasons Why No One Likes These Endless City Pages Articles Written By Naive, Annoying People In Their Early 20s


So do you just hire idiots who write trash because they're cheap and get this god awful clickbait coming at a furious pace or what?

Bob Combs
Bob Combs

I will have the chipotle burger With no chipotle sauce or jalapeños add Bacon and Swiss. Oh and by the way we were wondering about if the lunch special was available for dinner? That just sounds good right now. Mmmm...

niboosmik
niboosmik

The real top 10 reasons your server hates you:

10. Because you're here. 

9. Because you aren't going to order anything expensive.

8. Shit, you got the expensive stuff. Well fuck you, food snob.

7. Because you aren't overwhelmed with joy at the server's every precise step.

6. You're still here?

5. Because your server would rather be on their phone the whole night.

4. Because you are obligated to pay for pleasantries.

3. Because too many cervezas.

2. Christ, leave a good tip and get out of here already.

1. Because servers are the most entitled.

Dan Mason
Dan Mason

The inverse of #5 is why do I have to work to get your attention? Especially if my drink is empty or I just got my food in the last couple of minutes.

Eagan McVegan
Eagan McVegan

Seems like many servers do not understand customer service...

Eric TheCapn
Eric TheCapn

If the restaurant allows substitutions, don't work there or stop complaining, It's part of the job and keeping customers happy is what keeps the business alive.

Benjamin Gray
Benjamin Gray

I'm missing the point, who cares if a server hates me. I'm nowhere near to a rude person, but if I do cause someone distress, I leave afterwards, then they complain to a coworker. Neither of our lives change.

Tyler Chip Moody Suter
Tyler Chip Moody Suter

Dave Whitmer: Really, ordering my meal with no onions makes me a douche? Than yes, I pay a premium to be a douche. And I'll tell you what, I bet I'd have the support of about 90% of restaurant owners. Maybe those owners would prefer that I don't make special orders, but the VAST majority of them are going to say, make the damn meal without onions and shut up, or get a new job.

sally_vandyke
sally_vandyke

@asprings131 My, my, my, aren't' YOU the unhappy person! And, you must have a lot of time to waste writing a response longer than the article

asprings131
asprings131

" Small modifications, no prob, but keep them simple (no LTO, easy. No truffle oil in the sauce on your pasta? Not so much."

Do you understand *WHO* is *PAYING* *WHO* here to tell us how we want to spend our tip money? You obviously want to pay the customer a tip if you want to run things your way, huh?

 

Kyle
Kyle

But isn't that true of any job? The customers never fully understand all the hard work and logistics that go into getting said job done. I just don't understand why servers think they are the only people who have ever worked hard and felt under appreciated. I don't even have a problem with servers bitching about their plight. I get that. Most people do that about most jobs. What I don't get is this recent internet trend to use the gripes of service industry workers as some kind of wedge issue on internet articles. Somehow, it's turned into a great way to drum up traffic on an otherwise useless website.

stugel
stugel

ordering your meal without onions is a lot different from ordering your meal with no onions, no pickles, extra tomatoes, three different dressings on the side, substitute the fries for rice, extra cheese, on a gluten free roll, even though you're having the rice because "a little gluten is okay." The point isn't to never modify things, it's to not go crazy with it, and personally, I do tend to make a lot of modifications to food, but also tip 25% minimum. As a server, I don't mind people making me do extra work, but remember the extra work when it's time to tip. The article points out that servers in minnesota make minimum wage, but most make below $3/hour.


niboosmik
niboosmik

You know there's this handy article above this comment section that might resolve your confusion. 

tinkrrrbell
tinkrrrbell

@Kyle The difference is, in this working relationship, the customer is the direct source of both work flow and salary. If the person who signed your paycheck at a different job came in every day and made things more difficult for you and paid you less, chances are good eventually you'd quit. And yes, people don't have to work in service (though some of them may feel they do) but that doesn't mean patrons can't be nicer or at least more generous. 

asprings131
asprings131

@stugel but remember the extra work when it's time to tip."

I only tip 25%-30% when I do order my heavily modified orders when they are delivered obviously correct.  I just recently a few weeks ago had 7 condiments missing from my plate, that's right 7.  That stuff could have been easily brought out all ahead of time.  That's just for the entree, not counting the side of ranch missing from my appetizer I ordered.


Doing extra work for the extra tip is only fair and morally right if they get it right.  Condiments are the most forgotten item I have and are the most EASIEST to get correct by bringing them out ahead of time. In the 7 condiment situation, another server brought out the food, but still, nobody tried to get it right not my server, not the waitress that ran the food to us either and that waitress that ran the food didn't even fix issues. Also, our waitress only said she was sorry for one of the condiments that I had forgotten to tell her was left off the entree told her "You forgot the tartar sauce too", so she only apologized for that one condiment, not for the others.



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