Top 10 reasons why your server hates you

Categories: Advice, Food

Photo by Lynn via Flickr
Elevate Research, a new start-up out of St. Paul, is launching an app that allows patrons to rank their dining experiences using customized customer satisfaction surveys while receiving real-time responses from management. Unfortunately, the app only benefits customers and owners, leaving servers without a say.

If servers could fill out comment cards about customers, they'd reach biblical lengths within a few days. We've edited that down and complied a list of 10 reasons why your server hates you.

See also:
Top 10 reasons why your barista hates you

Photo by MT_bulli via Flickr

10. You expect things on your birthday.

Happy birthday, person your server has never met. No, your server does not want to sing you happy birthday. No, he won't be making an exception and publicly humiliating himself for you. And since you asked, no, he will not waive the price of your slice of cake or margarita just because you were born once.

9. You modify everything.

Substituting fries for a salad is one thing, but when you demand so many alterations that you end up with a Frankensteinian version of the original, you should probably just stay home. Chefs spend long hours tinkering with flavor combinations before settling on specific recipes. Trust them. Plus, preparing your special tomato-, onion-, and olive-free meal slows down the kitchen, which is probably why you and 10 other tables are complaining about how long the food is taking. If you want a custom dish that's not on the menu, there's one place you can always count on: your own kitchen.

8. You demand for the AC to be turned down, the blinds to be closed, the lights to be dimmed, and/or the music volume to be lowered.

By the time lowering the AC has any actual effect, you will no longer be in the restaurant. In this situation, your server will most likely lie and say she turned it down to provide the illusion that you are, in fact, the most important diner at the restaurant. If the music is too loud, it's not because your server is secretly stealing away to be the restaurant DJ for the evening. If any of the above is truly bothering you, tell a manager. Your server probably doesn't have much of a say in the matter.

Photo by Reno Tahoe via Flickr

7. You don't order anything.

Accompanying a friend to lunch on a full stomach is sometimes understandable, but when you and six friends take the biggest booth and only one of you buys food, you're effectively robbing your server of some serious dough. Plus, you're probably the type to linger for an hour over a two dollar cup of coffee, for which you tip 50 cents.

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