It probably killed you. Why shouldn't your casket be plastered with images of it?

It goes without saying that your funeral is your last public appearance. Why not share with the world your true passion?  And for a lot of pretty shallow people, that passion is bacon.

According to the Seattle Times, Justin Esch and David Lefkow, the brain trust that brought the world Bacconaise, Bacon Salt, Bacon Lip Balm, and Bacon Lube, have taken things to a new level by introducing the bacon coffin.

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Forget diamonds, flowers and candy. If you didn't take your lover to White Castle on Valentine's Day, you dropped the ball. Either way, you would have had to have planned in advance, because every White Castle in the Twin Cities area was booked for more than two weeks.

Strolling into the North Minneapolis White Castle was like walking into an inside joke that everybody understood. From 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. the hostess, Chiquita Thomas, stood perched behind her trash bin-turned-work station, yelling "welcome!" to incoming customers. A wait staff hustled to tables, carefully balancing trays packed with Diet Coke and Double Jalapeno Cheeseburgers. A waitress walked around lighting and re-lighting candles. The place was full.

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Jon Stewart eats pancake-wrapped sausage on a stick dipped in Baconnaise...

So J&D foods, creators of bacon-flavored salt and bacon-flavored lip balm (Gov. Pawlenty just gave a tube of the stuff to CNN's John King when King interviewed him at the fair!) recently introduced bacon-flavored mayonnaise, aka Baconnaise. J&D sent me a sample, as the product was just introduced at local SuperTargets , but, as much as I like both bacon and mayonnaise, I'm not going to tell you to go rush out and buy the stuff. The bacon flavor is awfully synthetic--far more like Bacos than the real thing. In fact, looking at the ingredients list, Baconnaise doesn't actually contain bacon. Interesting...

Even though the J&D folks point out that Baconnaise has less fat than mayonnaise + bacon, my rec would still be to stick to the real thing. (It's not hard to keep cooked bacon on hand for sandwiches--it can store for weeks in the fridge.) And let me know if you want a jar of almost-full Baconnaise.

photo by magpie-moon/flickr

Bacon Fest
Tues., April 28 to Sun., May 10
Citizen Cafe
2403 East 38th Street, Mpls.
612.729.1122

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Sappymoosetree/Flickr

Bacon lives! The LA Times has chimed in to air its views on The Big Money's recent pronouncement that the pork product's celebrity status has expired.

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Bacon is sooooo 2008.

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sea dot/Flickr

Kevin Bacon seems like a pretty good sport.

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A clearinghouse for photos of disgusting food surfaced this week.

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The 44-year-old former "Mystery Science Theater 3000" writer Michael J. Nelson had pledged to eat an all-bacon diet this month. And you thought the guy who did Supersize Me was nuts!

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Um, I'm sorry, but ew. I just can't even deal.