Pizza Hut's $10,010 Valentine's Day proposal kit

Serious Eats
A little more than your standard heart-shaped pizza
Looking for a unique/sad/bizarre way to propose to someone on Tuesday? Pizza Hut is running a promotion through Valentine's Day called the "Tie the Knot With Dinner Box". 

In addition to $10 worth of dinner (we assume pizza, but for this price you should be able to get hot wings and cheesy bread too), the Tie the Knot package includes...

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Burger King tests home delivery

Ding-dong! This creep coming to a doorstep near you. With fries.
​In a desperate, fat-fueled attempt to pull ahead of McDonald's in the fast-food race, the LA Times reports that Burger King will begin testing home delivery service at selected restaurants in the Washington, D.C., area. Just another approach in Burger King's never-ending quest to let you "have it your way," especially if "your way" means never having to leave your couch or get out of your sweatpants.

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White Castle to sell beer?

Soon, that cup could be filled with merlot!
​Times are tough for America's restaurant owners.  McDonald's is planning a large-scale makeover for many of its restaurants, hoping to make them more 'chic.'  Wendy's has reworked its menu, changing to natural-cut fries and new burgers. Even Subway is getting in on the act, introducing Subway Cafes.

Not to be outdone, America's favorite broker of bitsy burgers, White Castle, has quietly been testing a couple of new piggy-back brands--think Arby's/Sbarro or A&W/KFC--that are located inside of or adjacent to White Castles. But more interestingly, White Castle has also been testing in-store sales of the one thing that makes White Castle infinitely more appealing: booze!

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Is SuperValu anti-Christmas?

Wait--we thought the Grinch was green...
For those people out there who don't make a habit of watching paid political ads on YouTube, you may be surprised to learn that America is currently at war. No, we're not talking about the drawn-out wars in far-off lands like Iraq or Afghanistan. We're talking about the war right here at home--against Christmas, of all things.

The shadowy enemy is hard to identify: They hide their evil intentions behind the very convenient excuses of being "multicultural" or "inclusive" or even "not being religious zealots."  But, lucky for America, the American Family Association is watching out for us.

And according to the AFA, one Minnesota company can expect coal in its stocking this year.

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Former Top Chef: Just Desserts contestant charged in kiddie porn case

Chef Morgan Wilson may soon be getting his just desserts
​Morgan Wilson, a former finalist on the Top Chef: Just Desserts, has been indicted on felony child pornography charges. Wilson appeared on the first season of the reality cooking competition, a spin-off of the popular Top Chef series which runs on Bravo. A brash contestant who seemed to rub everyone the wrong way with his egotism and undeniable talent, Wilson was eliminated in the finale.

The charges:

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Man subsisting on wife's breast milk

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A man's diet: his wife's breast milk.
Well, this is a new one. A man named Curtis has begun blogging about his attempts to eat or drink nothing but his wife's massive stash of breast milk for as long as he possibly can. Decide for yourself it you think it's legit.

The wife says she's accumulated 162 gallons of the liquid food through the course of birthing and breast-feeding three children. On the blog, she explains that donating the milk wasn't a practical option, so her 6-foot-4, 185-pound husband decided to use it as a food source, drinking 66 ounces a day to get his recommended 2,000 calories.

After three days, things seem to be going rather well. On day two, he penned:

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Wisconsin may repeal margarine ban

Is Wisconsin dairy in danger?
Who even knew that Wisconsin has a law making it illegal for restaurants to serve margarine?

The 44-year-old law was intended to protect the state's famous dairy industry, and now some legislators are looking to repeal it, led by Republican state Rep. Dale Kooyenga, a 32-year-old Brookfield accountant who learned about the law by Googling "'stupid Wisconsin laws," the Chicago Tribune reports. Kooyenga says the law is anti-free-market and thinks that allowing state institutions to switch to margarine could save money.

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Cheech and Chong hawk General Mills 'magic brownies' [VIDEO]

General Mills
Fiber One: Not the kind of "magic brownies" Cheech and Chong usually eat.
Cheech and Chong are back! The vintage stoner duo is starring in a short flick used to promote General Mills Fiber One 90-calorie brownies.

The Business Journal reports that the term "magic brownies" came up in a Fiber One marketing meeting and next thing they knew, General Mills was shooting a video about Cheech and Chong on a mission to deliver a van full of brownies.

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Heinz's new ketchup packet enables the uncivilized practice of dining while driving

Heinz Ketchup Packet.jpg
Heinz debuts its new "dip and squeeze" ketchup packet.
Heinz has redesigned its 1960s-era ketchup packets only to enable the uncivilized--not to mention dangerous--practice of eating while driving.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Heinz had research subjects sit in fake minivans and eat so they could observe their interaction with ketchup packets. (Some people, apparently have been known to, while driving, squirt the ketchup directly into their mouths, and then add fries.)

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Mysterious hot dog man statue frightens Iowans

Hot dog statue.gif
Council Bluffs Police Department
Giving new meaning to the phrase, "lost dog."
A mysterious hot dog man showed up in downtown Council Bluffs, Iowa, giving new meaning to the phrase "lost dog."

The Daily Nonpareil newspaper reports that one morning earlier this month, the local police department received a call from a concerned citizen who had noticed a man in a hot dog suit waving at people near a bus stop, giving some obvious cause for concern.

The police arrived to find the man was actually a 6-foot-tall statue of a hot dog who would be applying ketchup to his forehead and holding a bottle of mustard, were his arms not broken off.

The dog, who sports sweat socks and sneakers, appears to be licking his lips in anticipation. Is he planning to eat himself?

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