Oh Mr. Sheffield!

It's hard to predict who will be the breakout star of any given season of American Idol. Did Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard really seem like Teen Beat material? After all, Aiken resembles a less-masculine Annette Bening, and Studdard...well, one hopes his groupies like it on top. Nevertheless, this season has brought another unlikely contestant to the forefront of Idol gossip: seventeen-year-old Mikalah Gordon. Like a cross between Funny Girl-era Streisand, Janis from Friends and pre-cancer Fran Drescher, Gordon has whined and snorted her way into the Top 12 with aplomb. Never mind that she's affably butchered songs by both Streisand and Dusty Springfield already; America loves nasal, high-maintenance, makeup-slathered women, and Gordon fits the bill on all counts. Plus, her online bio is appropriately enigmatic. (What exactly does "Performed at White House, Clinton" mean?) Although Gordon doesn't have a shot at winning (that plum will probably go to milquetoast Carrie Underwood), Mikalah will reign in our hearts for at least a few hours after her dismissal.