The other night on Punk'd
, Ashton Kutcher claimed he was about to "reap havoc"[sic] on some wannabe Gen-Y flava-making celebs by, well, reaping
them a new one in front of millions of viewers who are already so sick of their ubiqitous faces they'd rather be watching Hollywood Squares
for the lack-of-celeb relief it brings. But the only other thing on at that hour is CSI
, which Karl Rove's henchmen claim is a show mostly watched
. And that could only mean one thing: The Architect is
undoubtedly using it to send subliminal messages that big business and
privatized social security will save a nation from freaky fetishists
who, literally, have an ax to grind.
But even lamer than the Punk'd episode featuring Omarion's brother
entertainment news reports say Kutcher has been approached by a
Kabbalah drink company to be its "brand ambassador," or its "chosen
Not to be confused with a namby-pamby juice box, this beverage
is supposedly cooler than run-of-the-mill Bible drinks because it doesn't contain the
stale blood of Christ.