Is Jesus Christ a Rollerblading supermodel?

Categories: General Archive
If you were lucky enough (yes, lucky!) to catch the season finale of The Surreal Life last night, you caught Go-Go guitarist Jane Wiedlin dry humping former wrestler Chyna Doll like an amateur stripper loaded on her grandma's Vicodin. But if you missed the whole ridiculous reality season filled with cow branding, naked hot tubbing, and urinating in corners, you probably are totally unaware that supermodel Marcus Schenkenberg is Jesus Christ in disguise. Without flinching, the guy opens his big model arms to Chyna, a silicone giant with even bigger problems, and Verne Troyer, a miniature devil made up entirely of bile. (Until Marcus placed his golden hands on him, of course!)  If you're still not convinced that Marcus is the Second Coming, check this: Jesus was perfectly cool with having to wear the same robe and sandals every day. And designer Valentino describes Marcus as being "not difficult to dress." Hmmm....


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