What, Did Ashlee Cost Too Much?

Meet the Barkers repackages a classic dichotomy

Ozzy and Sharon have finally ordered the cameras off their feces-strewn property. Nick and Jessica have packed up their belongings and fled to less invasive pastures. Even Ashlee Simpson's televised train wreck has slowed to a smoldering halt. Unfortunately for MTV, this mass exodus left them without a "celebreality" show to pimp. Until now.

Meet the Barkers follows Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and his wife, former Miss USA Shanna Moakler as they cope with the familiar struggles of being multimillionaires. The hook is that he's a heavily-inked rock star and she's an effervescent blonde actress. Yeah, like we've never seen that combination before. (Meet the Locklear-Samboras-- now, that we would watch.) The show has that combination of snail-paced footage and "wacky" sound editing typical of MTV's reality offerings, so if you're after Osbournes-flavored comfort food, this is it. Otherwise, avoid it like a hepatitis-tainted tattoo gun.