Minneapolis / St. Paul Music Blog

Interesting Femi Kuti piece on NPR today. Listen here. Sample quote:

There are so many, hundreds of thousands, of young boys in Africa now. No shoes, no clothes, no money. They don't eat. They live under the bridge. Lagos is disgusting. And they are growing. In five years these boys that are 5 will be 10. Those that are 10 will be 15. 15 will be 20. So when you understand that kind of mathematics it's really scary.

Fox has hired an independent counsel to look into claims that she had an affair with an American Idol contestant. Do we smell a spin-off? How's about a reality show that investigates other reality shows? If CBS picks it up, it could replace 60 Minutes II.

Maggie Chestovich has that ineffable quality, sometimes called "presence" or "it" or "that ineffable quality," that makes you remember a performance long after the rest of the play has turned into brain ether. Originally from Falcon Heights, she's worked with most of the major theater companies in town--Children's Theatre Company, the Jungle, Frank, Ten Thousand Things, Playwrights' Center, the defunct Eye of the Storm--and has a particular gift for acerbic comedy. At this year's Minnesota Fringe Festival, she'll star with Jim Lichtscheidl in a premiere, Why Actors Can't Love, by local playwright Allan Staples. (Visit www.fringefestival.org for the performance schedule.) We caught up with Chestovich on a rehearsal break at the Jungle, where the show is being staged.

If you thought Cowboy Hootie , Subservient Chicken, and "Wake up With the King" were disturbing advertising concepts, behold Burger King's latest surreal gimmick: Coq Roq. The members of this fictional beak-wearing thrashcore band look like KISS meets the heavily-rouged parrot from Zoobilee Zoo. Phallic puns aside, Coq Roq's "band" name alludes to BK's latest culinary mutation, Chicken Fries. Mmm, pressed meat!

Rogue agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky has obviously been entrusted with major creative freedom. Apparently, the Coq Roq website even contained a caption that read "Groupies love the coq!" until complaints neccessitated its removal.

Meanwhile we await the inevitable Vagina Monologues Happy Meal.

The Hold Steady will soon be making their screen debut in Odds Against Seven, a short film by Target. Yes, Target. Sure, calling it a screen debut is a stretch, since this is a film release limited to computer screens. But some film-school student went to great pains to create this wannabe-John Hughes-ian short, which is ostensibly about a college kid trying to find a band to play at his school's first party. Of course it's really about the lil' red discount store's "hip brand identity," and what better way to shout it loud than via a Crucifixion Cruise?

Or the company could go another route to market to a young, media-savvy demographic, perhaps using a song about ass fetishes that employs a whip as a sound effect. Click here to launch the new back-to-school commercial, "Baby Got Back...Packs."

They're not celebrities, they're not getting fit, and they're not in a club. Once you get past the premise, the personalities, and the medical hazards of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club 2, you can begin to appreciate the program on its own terms.

And what would those be? Hard question. Can I tell you the cube root of 58,998 instead? To start, there's tough-talking fitness trainer Harvey Walden IV, who has been tasked with carving the blubber off a cast of eight castaways. Walden, a former marine drill sergeant, is a parody of Lou Gossett Jr. in An Officer and a Gentleman. He barks and berates, speaks in ALL CAPS and exclamations. He spends a lot of time talking about the finer points of the relationship between his footwear and your ass.

There's no need for Harvey to embarrass the corpulent. The producers do that plenty well, thank you. The contestants box and run with rickshaws, activities that are sure to make them look like careering blimps with catastrophic punctures. It's no surprise that the show draws F-List celebrities: Phil Margera (father to the punk Peter Pan of Viva la Bam) is the only one of this crew who isn't exiled in reruns. Viewers probably have heard of Gary Busey and Victoria Jackson. Jackee Harris may be remembered for that superfluous and sassy "E." After that, the word "of" becomes increasingly important: Willie Aames (of Charles in Charge); Tocarra (of America's Next Top Model); Jani Lane (of Warrant). Then there's the Snapple Lady. While the British version of the program has the celebs donate their winnings to charity, the Americans will pocket $100,000 in prizes. When your Hollywood career has deposited you in suburban Kansas, as Aames's has, charity begins at home.

If you're like me, you couldn't get enough "Prairie Home Companion" movie news! And how about "North Country," which was filming, um, up north? Charlize Theron was in our state!!! Woody Harrelson is in both movies! Crazy! Anyway, to hell with both of them. Between showing the backstage antics of some crazy liberal commie Public Radio show and fictionalizing the first major successful sexual harassment case in the United States (Jenson vs. Eveleth Mines), our fair state could use a cinematic palate cleanser. Enter "Bunyan & Babe," a heart-warming tale about two children, exiled to their grandfather's Minnesota farm, who discover the secret lair of fabled woodsman Paul Bunyan and his trusty sidekick, Babe the Blue Ox. Info is pretty spotty on the project.

The Streak has ended. Last night at 8:14, startribune.com posted a CJ column that contained no reference to Lindsay Lohan. It marked the first time since June 28 that the 15-year-plus veteran gossip columnist has failed to document some zany or galling antic pulled by the 19-year-old Lohan, in the Twin Cities or elsewhere. As City Pages reported yesterday, the consecutive column streak had reached 13 on Tuesday.

"It's a sad day over here," one Strib staffer did not tell CP, "but it was glorious while it lasted."

Don Johnson? Melanie Griffith? Jennifer Love Hewitt? A show about young lawyers called Just Legal? Why, this could shape up to be the worst fall TV season in recent history (save for 1987, when Small Wonder and Out of this World aired back-to-back.) Below is a purely self-indulgent exercise in which we review an upcoming show based on its synopsis and, of course, a gut feeling that has proven to be 67% correct.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS): Starring Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser) and Alyson Hannigan (exceptional flutist in American Pie), this sitcom focuses on a guy who falls for a girl at first-sight, only to find that a tired plot line keeps them from hooking up.
Why it will suck: See above. Also see Good Morning, Miami.

The Loop (Fox): Recent college grad deals with life-numbing corporate America while trying to bag his roommate (who is not Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody.)
Why it could work: Writer Pam Brady's credits include South Park and Team America: World Police.
Why it could suck: Stars guy whose IMDB bio is composed of this single sentence: "His roommate is Adam Brody." Also, see 1997 Fred Savage sitcom, Working.

A good rule of thumb for nonfiction writers: you can get away with making other people look stupid if you portray yourself as the biggest idiot of them all. Bruce Campbell adheres to this rule in his new novel, Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way. In this fictional story, the proudly B-list actor has been cast in Mike Nichols' romantic comedy, Let's Make Love!, alongside Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger. Campbell applies his previous film experience (from such classics as Maniac Cop, Waxwork II: Lost in Time, and Maniac Cop 2) to his new gig and the mainstream flick is soon destined for straight-to-DVD status. No one corrects his blunders because they all think his ideas are brilliant. Natch. Campbell will sign copies of the book tonight at the University of Minnesota Bookstore, before introducing two screenings of his new film, Man with the Screaming Brain, at the Oak Street Cinema.