Long shorts are for babies! By Amelia Huff, age 10 1/2

Do you see that girl in the picture? That is my Roll Model, Jessica Simpson. She is called a Roll Model because she is on a roll with her career!!! Someday when I am a singer and fashoin desiner, I will have a handsome husband like Jessica. I will have millions of dollers and give a lot of money to adorabel poor children who dont have iPods and have to drink the store brand of Coke. I will also have a special camp that turns ugly girls beutiful. And also teaches them girl power and how to play the giutar and how to say NO to all drugs except Bo-caine.

NEway my big problem is that I really want to see The Dukes of Hazzard and my bitch mom wont let me...wait a minete, I just got an email from my friend Keegyn. Here is what it says:

Hi Amelia do you think nick lachey has hair on his wiener? keegyn

Here is my note back to her. Your crazy girl! Yes I think he does because I saw my moms new freind Telly changing and he is probably Nick's age and BOY did he have a lot of hair everywhere! Also his wiener was on upside down, which is wierd. CU at soccer. Amelia.

Okay, back to my Dukes of Hazzard problem. I need to see it because I am such a Jessica Simpson fan. Bitch says no. She also says I cannot wear the short shorts that are cool right now and are $12.99 at Old Navy. She says I am too young to wear short shorts like Jessica. But legs are not private parts!!! My mom is stupid. She's jealous because her legs have veins all over them and look like the giant turky legs at the Renisants (sp?) Fair. She would look like vomit in short shorts. I would look GOOD. I would look 11 or even 12.

I need a man!!!!!