For the obsessive-compulsive winter-fearing agoraphobe in all of us, CTG offers reads so breezy, easy, and entertaining you'll finally be able to say you completed a weekend project.
1. Everybody into the Pool, by Beth Lisick: A former columnist for SF Gate, Lisick stumbles through sex hangovers, ladies' luncheons, crack houses, art rock, the urge to steal from nuns to fund an abortion, and the struggles of marriage and parenthood and braids them all tightly together through repeated missteps that make perfect sense. Sample line: "It was a banner week, the one that ended with me crouching behind a fire truck in an alley trying to squeeze a banana suit over my ass."
2. Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants, by Jill Soloway: This award-nominated Six Feet Under writer eschews the maudlin for the bawdy in her first memoir, proudly embracing her self-proclaimed inner "Jewess," promiscuity, womanhood, and bodily functions all at the same time. Sample line: "I was raised Jewish Ghetto, which means I witnessed, as part of a daily and regular dinner table show, people smacking and snarking on chicken bones, getting so deeply into the marrow that what's left is a stick of holes through which the wind whistles..."
3. Don't Get Too Comfortable, by David Rakoff: The Fraud author and This American Life contributor takes materialism, pop-culture, and general "first-world" inanity and futility through the wringer, never leaving a hollow-eyed Hooters airline girl, self-indulgent media type, and most notably, himself, unscathed. Sample lines: "While we're on the subject of the horrors of war, and humanity's more poisonous and least charitable attributes, let us not forget to mention Barbara Bush (that would be former First Lady and presidential mother as opposed to W's liquor-swilling, Girl Gone Wild human ashtray of a daughter. I'm sorry, that's not fair. I have no idea if she smokes)."
*Do not attempt more than one. Project completion more likely if you're afflicted with insomnia and/or OCD.