Minneapolis / St. Paul Blog

It would be an honor to kick this off with the stinkiest turd of the last decade, "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins.

"Everything's gonna be all right/rockabye"

Yuck!

Oh...my...God. Everytime I'm unlucky enough to hear this song in the confines of my car when it comes into rotation on the radio, my gag reflex goes off with a bang, and I find myself afraid that I may have to pull over to collect myself.

I mean, really, you guys, "My lovely lady lumps"?! What are you, a camel? Come on.

That song is awful. But another equally awful (and equaully over-hyped) song this year is "Dead on Arrival" by Fall Out Boy. In fact, anything by them deserves to be on the Worst of the Year lists. The vocals are so breathy and affected they're downright unlistenable.

whenever i've been cursed by the gods and punished with this song, i keep expecting the lyric to swing into "milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made" - the level of writing and "music" being on a par with that pre-junior high anatomy lesson....gack, what tripe!!

I would have to at least nominate Rupert Holmes' nonclassic "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)". The reason is the preposterous premise of this little story-song/saga. Basically, the guy is bored with his woman, so he places a personal ad. OK, fine. Whatever. But then in the personal ad he states that he's looking for a woman who, among other things, likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain - not to mention one who's not into yoga and has half a brain. His feminine ideal, additionally, should enjoy making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. Apparently, his libidinous needs are very time- and place-specific. Anyhoo, and there's NO way anybody listening to the song for the first time could see this coming, but it turns out...it TURNS OUT!...that his "own lovely lady" answers the personal ad. Oh, so now she's his own "lovely lady"? How convenient. What really bugs me is that despite the fact that the two of them have been together long enough for him to get bored with her (and apprarently the feeling was mutual), he NEVER knew that she liked pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, wasn't into yoga, had half a brain, etc. etc. I especially love how even though they've completely betrayed each other - him by placing a personal ad, her by responding to said ad - everything in their relationship is OK now that they found out that they really had the same tastes all along and, apparently, just weren't COMMUNICATING very well with each other all these years. The song seems to say that it's perfectly OK to stray from your significant other as long as it turns out that the "affair" is really with that significant other after all. Oh, gee, that's super, you say tomato, I say to-mah-to, let's call the whole thing off.
So, yeah, that song really sucks.

"My Humps" epitimizes the fact that even though art is consumed by the masses, it isn't neccesarily quality art. Just because a song gets the lumps shakin' doesn't outright make it a good song. "My Humps" may have a semi-dancable beat, but it seriously lacks the elements of melody and lyrics which make a song good. The downloading and radio/tv popularity of this song also highlights the cultural drought this nation is going through on a massive scale. And how did B.E.P. go from making a thought provoking song like "Karma" on their "Behind the Front" album to this brainless garbage? Worst single ever: "Barbie Girl". Sorry to have reminded you about that one.

"Lullaby?" You have truly never really suffered, have you?

"My Humps" is so bad it's fun, which disqualifies it from any "worst of..." lists. And "We Built This City" is in the Hall of Fame; no more citing it, please. Tim McGraw loses points because it's country, and mass-produced dreck isn't the same as handcrafted awful dreck. And Pina Colada Song (and half a dozen songs just like it from the seventies) don't count because, really, who expected anything from any of them?

No, the worst song ever (allowing for expectations, the Hall of Fame, and dilution) is "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam.

Worst songs ever? Wildfire. And oh yes-The Night Chicago Died-a song that begins..."on the East Side of Chicago...". Hmmm. Having lived there for 40 of my 52 years, I know that would be the lake. There ain't no East Side of Chicago.

The worst record ever made, by a mile, is "Dear Mr. Jesus." See http://www.dayofthechild.org/dc98/dmj.htm for more (or, really, don't). (No, really.)

Anyone have a link to the "My Humps" video? Have not seen it yet. I thought I'd give video.google.com a spin to find it. Well, if you're interested in watching lots of people lip synching to the track, here are the disturbing results:

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=%22My+Humps%22&btnG=Search+Video

Obviously these folks don't think it's the worst song ever. I'm a BEP fan and thought the song was a joke. And I still do.

Billy Ocean's "Get out of my dreams, get into my car" is far worse than "My Humps". Or was that song a joke as well?

Well, this thing screamed sucky-ness the first time I heard it! I had to go and find someone at work immediately after I heard it to purge my being of the crap that passes for music today.

I told them this: There's no creativity, nothing left to the imagination and nothing redeeming here at all! I'm sure the video - which I have not seen - has the girl shaking her booty all over the place, trying to deflect attention from the fact that his song sucks donkey dick! The beat may be OK; but hey, a friggin' drum machine can create a beat for you!

I, too, had heard BEP were talented and worth a listen - which I have yet to follow up and do - but this song is C-R-A-P, with a capital C!!

begging your pardon, but i happen to think that "my humps" has ushered us into the final hours of western civilization as we know it, and i couldn't, frankly, be more pleased. what it represents is nothing less than the ultimate and final deprivileging of talent in cultural production! "my humps," in one deft, absurd maneuver, accomplished everything that punk rock attempted but failed to perfect. this means we can start over from scratch, sans-virtuoso, sans-rock-god, sans-colonialism, sans-patriarchy. it's a beautiful prospect. the one question that remains is what are we, as a people, going to do with all that breasts, all that breasts up in your shirt?

hip hip!

Not one Foreigner song on that list ! Jukebox Hero ? Waiting For a Girl Like You ? Rev on the Redline ? Those are all awful.

hahaha! good beat 8)

My Humps is definetely not the worst song. Girls love it and we, boys, don't. I bet girls hate Billy Talent, Jimmy Eat World, Panic! At the Disco and Weezer so for us, it's bad!